The Woman I Want to Be… is a fabulous online fashion experience dedicated to truth in fashion, shopping, and all things style. Lauren is dedicated to giving women all the tools they need to come away with an insightful, honest, and humorous look at where their style truly resides.

By Lauren Deloach, Editor of

How do you reconcile the woman you are in the world of style versus the woman you want to be?  When life and time get in your way, it can be more than difficult to reconcile what you see in the mirror.  Whether it’s a slowed metabolism due to time ticking away, catching what I call “Meno’s belly,” that stubborn belly that comes with menopause for so many women, or pregnancy/childbearing, it doesn’t take much to knock you down and leave you feeling out.  As someone in their third trimester of pregnancy, believe me, I can completely relate.  Looking in the mirror at who I am versus imagining the woman I want to be leaves me with a mix of laughter and sadness.  Laughter at all a baby can do to change your outward appearance, and a bit of sadness (hormones!) remembering what I was.  The problem with thinking on the woman you want to be however, is the sadness factor.  It’s a quiet style-trap.  Staying caught up for too long in your feelings of down and out without coming up with a way out of the maze can leave you feeling hopeless about your style.  After all, without a plan, we must indeed plan to fail.  So what is the master plan to become the woman you want to be?  Although every style case is different, therefore leaving every solution varied, there are a few basic things we can all do to get closer to matching our inside with our outside.

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(Pictured: “Into the Night” Clutch by Kertis on $40; YSL Pure Chromatics Wet & Dry Eyeshadow in #3- $55, sold by


“Take hold…take heart”

So while I’m that case of looking at a completely different body than what I’ve known due to pregnancy, many women can easily find themselves in this predicament due to other factors.  No matter what got you there, the end result is weight gain.  As we all know there is no one day cure for weight gain.  So when you can’t take hold of your waist line right away, you have to look to other areas of your style that can yield you immediate results.  My number one style category to switch your focus to is beauty.  There’s a reason the beauty industry is a billion dollar business.  Constantly churning out quick fixes that can leave you feeling beautiful in minutes, I would expect nothing less.  I’ve seen women completely down on themselves, and after getting in the right beauty chair are left feeling stunning, almost invincible.  Unable to turn down any mirror in their path, this is that quick fix that can bring you to the woman you want to be.  As the business of beauty can be daunting in the beginning, there are two paths you can take simultaneously to get yourself in gear.  The first path is the department store.  Get yourself to a department store and begin walking the beauty department looking for someone whose makeup you LOVE.  Be picky here ladies!  You’re looking for a beauty mate you can trust.  Don’t settle for whoever comes up to you first asking if you need help.  It must be someone whose makeup is flawless first, and who sounds knowledgeable about their line second.  Understand that what you’re looking for is a beauty expert, and there are plenty that exist right in your local department store.  As someone who has worked with countless department stores, the number one store when looking for an expert (and friendliness) is Nordstrom.  As for the best lines to try when you’re at the store, hands down it would have to be Chanel, Bobbi Brown, and YSL.  Start at these counters and go from there.  The second path you can take in parallel to the department store is a path that will allow you to get “smart” about beauty in the comfort of your own home.  One word (two syllables)…Birchbox!  I absolutely LOVE this path, particularly for those wanting to try products off the beaten path.  It’s a monthly subscription where they send you deluxe size samples of their top beauty picks each month.  It’s like style Christmas each month, and it makes the process of beauty fun, which is key.  Trying out these paths is nothing short of a confidence booster, and more importantly, a way to control the things you can.  It’s always easier to reconcile the things out of your control when you have at least a few things within your control.

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“A clutch move”

Outside of getting a FAB beauty routine in place, I have found that there is no greater “pick me up” than owning a really great clutch.  Never ever underestimate the power of owning a mean, oh-so-serious-business clutch!  This morning I saw an eighty year old woman walking down the street wearing jeans, a t-shirt, and tennis shoes…with a cane, fur coat, turban on her head, and a MEAN clutch.  It was early in the morning so I got the impression she wasn’t “dressed” for the day, but she certainly knew how to control the things she could and let go of what she couldn’t.  She had that clutch pressed under one arm and maneuvered the cane with the other.  All I could do was smile.  There is something about a woman rocking out a clutch under her arm that boasts chic style.  Whether you spend $40 on a print clutch from Kertis on, or $200 on a Clare Vivier clutch on, the end result is the same, immediate style gratification.  It’s another piece of the style equation you can control and manipulate as you see fit, easing any sense of down and out in your style world.

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Eventually I will deliver this baby (that’s what I keep telling myself)!  But I know that even after that, I will be faced with new challenges in my style world.  That’s life, and we all go through it.  Style ups and style downs.  But having an “out” to help you keep your sanity in check is your source of hope.  A new beauty routine, finding ways to stay knowledgeable, and even picking up an amazing clutch are all ways to help you get closer to the woman you want to be.  As long as you’re working towards getting closer to her, there’s a bit of peace to be had in that.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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