By Dianne Brooks
As the “kids” – and I emphasize the quotes here since they hardly seem so – return from break (aka writer’s strike – nice!) in this greatly anticipated Gossip Girl episode titled “The Blair Bitch Project,” [watch clips] Blair (Leighton Meister) recently dethroned from queen bee-dom literally gets belted with some fruity, yoghurty thing. Fortunately, now that Serena (Blake Lively) is back as her BFF, she has a shoulder to cry on. And Serena needs a BFF because since her mom Lily (Kelly Rutherford) is about to marry sneaky Chuck’s (Ed Westwick) dad Bart (Robert John Burke) there’s all this planning like a special dinner that includes a wedding cake tasting…foie gras cake anyone?
Seems as if someone that Serena assumes to be Chuck is playing dirty tricks by sending boxes with unpleasant surprises including handcuffs, naughty underwear and cocaine. In the meantime, Jenny (Taylor Momsen) is digging herself further in debt trying to finance her ascendence as Blair’s replacement. This has already involved pawning a sewing machine (that can’t really be worth much, let’s face it.) When formerly Blair’s now Jenny’s nasty entourage threatens a birthday night out at Butter, Jenny tricks Blair into showing up with the $100 tip required to secure a table for 8 without a reservation (right!) Still under pressure, Jenny swipes a $15,000 red Valentino gown from one of her new friends’ moms’ closet which was BTW about as big as my living room. It all implodes when Jenny, who has sold said dress to one of those second hand places Jackie O first made famous is forced to steal it back by wearing it out of the store and right into her “surprise” party hosted by, who else, Blair!
But when Jenny drags Nate (Chace Crawford) to Butter and literally takes Blair’s seat, all is seemingly forgiven. How many times can you plug a restaurant in one episode? Serena finally realizes that Chuck isn’t as bad as he looks…it’s “G” who has been sending her the packages in anticipation of her imminent return. Next week’s teaser reveals G as Georgina and she’s got a secret she’s holding over Serena’s head.