The New Adventures Of Old Christine: “What Happens in Vegas Is Disgusting in Vegas”

Last time on The New Adventures Of Old Christine the long awaited nuptials for Richard and New Christine are at last at hand! Considering it’s been a few years in the making, it’s very significant that an important step is taken towards the happy day. Picking out the dress? Registering at all the stores? Buying Little Ritchie a tux? Nope… time to plan the bachelor/bachelorette parties!

Since Little Ritchie is nowhere to be found (even on episodes where his character is the central theme) it’s a relief that the little guy is not subjected to what is about to happen next. Richard is excited to finally be getting the parties underway and when he and Matthew hash out the ideas for a stripperless (thus, very lame) event, they come up with a great idea: laser tag! Of course, Richard is really hoping for a Hall & Oates concert. Are they still around?

All this talk of parties is upsetting to New Christine: she’s lived a very sheltered life and has yet to sow her wild oats. This gets Old Christine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) and Barb (Wanda Sykes) to talking about wild times spent in Vegas. OC wins a kissing contest by making out with 20 complete strangers. Luckily a shot in the buttocks cures both she and Richard of the resulting consequences.

Another surprise for Richard is that his brother Joe (Charles Esten) shows up and Richard is so happy to see him he forgives OC for making him gay. “She didn’t make me gay. I am gay” says Joe. There you have it… right out in the open. This show is always breaking ground. Richard can put up with baby bro’s homosexuality, but he still wishes Hall & Oates were in town. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

All this talk of Vegas persuades Barb to convince OC that a trip to Sin City would be the perfect cure for NC’s pre-marital jitters. So, in classic sitcom style, it’s off to Vegas we go… immediately. No bookings, no reservations…. nothing. The next time we see the trio they’re already at the slots. Time is relative in this space-bending series.

Presumably the laser tag battlefield is much closer and we pick up the action there as the boys suit up for a firefight. The opposing team are some guys from Richard’s construction crew. Including the one he fired last week. He has a look of a man out for revenge but Richard isn’t worried. He’s universally loved by all his workers, past and present. Ah, to be in love and foolish. Richard let’s it slip that he has picked Matthew as his Best Man. Joe had a shot the first time, besides Matt lives right next door, basically. Joe acts like he understands but can’t help getting a few friendly fire shots at Richard’s laser vest. So much for brotherly love.

Back in Vegas, the girls are barely seated at the bar when NC gets hit on by “Gross Guy.” OC tries to protect NC’s virtue, but she’s more annoyed that GG thinks she’s NC’s mother. When they successfully blow him off it’s tequila time. Only NC has never tried the nectar of the agave. And she’s certainly never swallowed the worm. Since it’s only a shot before they hit the slots Barb and OC convince NC to give it a try. This is a big mistake, as a new tequila monster is created. And suddenly Gross Guy is looking more and more like the man of her fevered, worm-induced dreams.

Back at laser wars Joe is getting more and more pissed about Richard’s choice of Matthew as Best Man. But Matthew’s inner Rambo is emerging. It doesn’t hurt that the other team is really hunting Richard down and it comes to a Butch’s Sundance moment where Matt sacrifices himself and goes out in a laser blaze of glory. Since Richard needs a new best man, Joe is back in. New Christine is feeling the effects from all that tequila and barfs it all out in the ladies room. This gives Barb and OC a chance to understand NC’s nervousness and they decide to help. Only NC has other thoughts as she decides it’s time to get everything out of her system with Gross Guy. Topless. But their magical kiss reminds her of an ashtray left out overnight and she regains her senses. What was she thinking? Matthew refuses to let Richard re-decide he’s back in as Best Man when Joe starts to see the light on his stone-headed objections. Taking one for the team affects every man’s mind, but Matthew is having none of it. For about a minute. Then he decides he’s back in. So it all ends happily. NC has sowed those oats, Joe knows his proper place, Matthew is brought back from the dead and OC remembers why she hates Vegas these days: The town is too corporate now.

I know the feeling. The show is off the schedule for at least the next two weeks, but no worries… catch up on more clips of The New Adventures Of Old Christine right here on Fancast.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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