The United States Of Tara: Peppermint Schnapps

This week’s The United States of Tara tries to unravel the mystery of the ruined mural. Someone defaced Tara’s beautiful work, but no one can seem to figure out who it was. Marshall watches some videos that the alters made, but finds no clues. Tara seems to think it was someone in Tiffany’s life, like an ex. Even though she doesn’t remember what she does as an alter, she has some semblance of intuition when it comes to the whole thing. She doesn’t think it was T, Alice, or Buck.

This week, it’s T’s turn to come out to play. Rather than go to a mock trial of Marshall’s, T heads off to her favorite arcade a couple hundred miles away. Max drops everything and has to track her down. And even worse—Charmaine tags along. Dance Dance Revolution is an obvious way for a pretend 16-year-old to get some exercise as well as to dance provocatively. Only T would treat a video game like a stripper pole. “My bitch is fresh!” says Max. Um, sure.

Back at the Gregson residence, Marshall is cyber stalking Jason when he comes up with a brilliant idea. He wants to throw a party, now that T and Max will be staying out all night. Kate’s on board and makes some calls. Thanks to a collection of stolen liquor bottles, the party is now in full force. And the Christians are here!

T is always looking for a good time, and since Max refuses to have sex with her, she’ll apparently try to find it elsewhere. Some thug in a wife beater starts to get fresh, so Max tries to intercede. T pretends she doesn’t know the “old man” and security drags him out. When T finally emerges from the arcade (with thug in tow), he pretends to be her dad and throws her over his shoulder fireman-style. Mental note to add this to my list of things I wish John Corbett would do to me.

Marshall should be excited that his crush Jason is at the party, but unfortunately Jason is more interested in spreading the word than flirting. Kate isn’t having a great time either. Her ex (who looks like a mix of Mystery from The Pickup Artist and that guy from Jamiroquai) is there with his new girl. And guess who else showed up? Charmaine. Kate runs away and goes for a beer run with Gene, who showed up just in time. Is it wrong of him to hit on his jailbait employee?

At the motel with T, Max uses seduction to figure out if T destroyed the mural. She denies it, of course, but he actually believes her. After all, T would probably brag about it anyway. The hotel stay is cut short when he finds out about the party back home. He gets there just in time to break it up and send all the hooligans away. Marshall is sufficiently drunk by now. He throws a tantrum and demands his mommy back. T doesn’t comply. She does manage to apologize, but tonight Marshall is without his mom. That must suck.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.


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