Melissa Rivers: Team Athena’s Win Was A “Complete Shock”

Welcome to my first post about The Celebrity Apprentice. I’ll be blogging about it every week through the season.

During last night’s premiere, I had to shut my phone off because everyone I knew was watching and wanted to comment. The best text I got was from some very close friends that watched the show together, it read: “Just finished watching, you played great, you looked great, you need to practice walking in heels!” Thanks…

While watching you may have sensed some tension between Annie Duke and our team at some points. You’re right. Last night at the cast and crew party at the Spanish Kitchen here in L.A.,the only person who I didn’t speak to – and didn’t speak to me – was Annie.

Now, let me give credit where credit is due. Annie is a very smart woman and obviously great at what she does. Unfortuantely, there are certain things about who she is as a person that don’t really work for me. That’s a diplomatic way of saying we didn’t really hit it off and probably won’t be exchanging holiday cards. Keep watching, though, because last night’s tension was just the beginning…

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But that’s one of aspects that ‘Celebrity Apprentice‘ is about, watching the tension build between the players. Being in the boardroom with the men the first time I could feel their egos clashing. I wasn’t surprised watching the show last night and seeing them unable, as a group, to even come up with a team name. We picked our name in a few minutes. It’s not about the name. Our team was focused. Let’s pick a name and move on with the task, the clock is ticking. We’re not here to eat bagels and drink coffee. We’re here to win money for charity.

I had been asked to do CA previously and it just didn’t work out schedule wise. When I got the call this time, it seemed like a good idea, a fun opportunity, a challenge, and all the things you’re supposed to think. Little did I know that it what I would be in for. Each day starts at 5am and if I saw the inside of my place by 11pm, it was a good day. We worked 6 days a week and shot 12 episodes in 24 days.

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There’s no “cut, let’s go to lunch.” It’s non-stop work for the team getting your product to the public in less in than a days’ time. And for anyone thinking the teams aren’t doing “real business”, we are. So you know, each team is given a budget for their task, and there’s an accounting group that goes over all your receipts for that given task. If your receipts and your money don’t add up, that team automatically loses.

As far as the men’s team, I love Tom Green and thought he was hilarious last night. Dice, well…he just wanted to say as many funny things as possible and overpowered the rest of his team. There was a time in the boardroom when Dice was going on about “selling out Madison Square Garden..” and listing his accomplishments to the point that everyone in the room was getting uncomfortable, it became borderline sad.

I wanted to say, “Please stop talking..I can’t be in the room with this anymore.” He crossed into delusional thoughts; you’ve sold out more stadiums than anybody? Let me remind you who is sitting next to you, Dennis Rodman was on the Chicago Bulls. 5 NBA titles. He sold out MSG a lot more than you. There was a sense of desparation coming from Dice. I can tell you, they were very kind in the edit with what they showed from him. As far as Dennis, I think he really displayed to the world last night that he is a business man. When he went off in the final boardroom ripping his team’s game plan, he was dead on with his remarks.

OK, back to our team… Donald informed us that our cupcakes were going head to head against the men in a taste test (with the winning team getting an extra 15k) and I was responsible for delivering the right cupcake to Crumbs Bakery for the verdict. When I got the news from Annie that I had chosen and delivered the wrong cupcake for the taste test, I was floored, totally worried that I just blew it for our team.

See Dice in the car leaving Trump Tower

And honestly, when we won, it was a complete shock to us. In our hotel room watching the men in the boardroom, our team knew that Dice would be fired. He wasn’t playing the game for his team, it seemed that he was there for publicity only and didn’t care if he took his own team down for his personal satisfaction.

The hotel room is fun and by that time after a two day blitz of taking your product public, and knowing you’ve won that task, you’re so frazzled that they can’t bring enough champagne and snacks. Until you realize that at 5:00 AM the whole cycle starts again…

Have a great week, see you here at Fancast next Monday after “The Celebrity Apprentice.”

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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