Who Gives A Twit?

Yesterday Kourtney Kardashian tweeted that a “big announcement” was coming today. Here it is: she started a blog. It’s over shadowed the bigger announcement that she can type. Ouch – kidding. Cesar Millan tweeted that he’s holding auditions today for his show @ 4PM in Long Beach, California. Casting calls for ‘Dog Whisperer’ are different in California – owners bring headshots of themselves. Al Roker, in Missouri judging the Branson 1st Annual Great American Pie Show, tweeted, “Who doesn’t like pie?” Not Al, that’s for sure.

At 3 AM, Andy Dick pondered that he’s not addicted to Twitter. But he “thinks” he’s addicted to pretty ladies. Hey, at least he’s “thinking” about it. Steve Buscemi tweeted this to Rainn Wilson, “I first met you in a dream in the fall of ’04. We drank 151 and OJ and skipped through the forest with daisies in our hair.” Sounds more like a tweet that should have come from Andy Dick.

But Steve wasn’t done. He tweeted this to Ashton Kutcher, “Yo Ashton, I have a proposition for you: a summer vacation to the Bahamas & a weekend wife swap. Pick the date; I’ll make it happen.” Memo to Steve: I think Ash first needs a picture of Mrs. Buscemi before he can commit.

And hopefully Adrianne Curry and Chris Knights’ marriage will last through the weekend. Their road trip together (what, you didn’t know they were on one?) and Chris’ utter distaste for Adrianne’s flava of music (fyi, Lithium Ch. 24 On Sirius) had Adrianne fuming – and tweeting – from the passenger seat: “being married 2 someone who has next to nothing in common with u can be hard.”

Yikes. Chris, unless you’re interested sharing a bed w/a divorced cougar & her three kids, get over to iTunes and explore. In more news from the twitterhood:

Ashton Kutcher @8:32PM 4/23/09: Ever wish you had a trap door and a button that push to make people disapear. Melissa Gilbert @6:47PM 4/23/09: cleaning the litter box, right?- No more now that hubby is home. He is the Captain of Sh&t around here. YAY!! John Mayer @1:17AM 4/24/09: Ever notice there’s always still a street in Manhattan you’ve never heard of? “Ever eat at that place on Zance and Mortimer?” Ice-T @6:15AM 4/24/09:Todays Question: Whats more important in a serious relationship? Looks & Sex >>> No Drama & Peace or Money . Think about it! Men And Women. Deepak Chopra @9:50PM 4/23/09: Completely desist from defending your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument. Joan Rivers @8:17PM 4/23/09: watch Jim Cramer this Sunday on Apprentice. In my opinion, he’s a slim bag and a liar. Plus he can’t pick stock! Jimmy Fallon @8:05 AM 4/24/09: Dog the Bounty Hunter was shot at yesterday while trying to apprehend a criminal. His injuries are really serious. I saw him today and he was wearing one of those neck cones. Poor Dog. Jane Fonda @12:04PM 4/23/09: Did you hear that the economy is so bad that wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford to buy new batteries?

‘Bah doomp boomp..Jane will be here all week ladies and germs, try the veal…

What do I give a Twit about? Well, you can’t beat last night’s ‘Survivor’ for a shocker, my man Justin Guarini’s take on Idol’s ‘double elimination‘ and ‘Scubs,’ which you’d better appreciate now while they’re still making new episodes.

Have a great tweekend. Tweet Out!

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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