Gossip Girl: “Southern Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”

Recapper here, feeling pleased after this most satisfying episode. Thanks to Cyrus’s connection, Blair’s been accepted at NYU. She and Nate ludicrously act like they’ll be in a long distance relationship next year since he’ll be at Columbia. Chuck offers Nate his room at the Palace as a meeting place in the middle.

Serena tells Blair that Gabriel’s so focused on building his new company that he frequently cancels dates. Blair thinks he’s up to something. Chuck catches Blair spying on Serena’s sketchy man. He thinks it’s because she’s bored with Nate. They see Gabriel get into a car with Poppy. Blair tells Serena. She insists on handling it herself. Gabriel preemptively tells Serena he was with Poppy. All the investors in his company that will bring wireless to Africa are her contacts. He could lose everything if Poppy finds out he’s seeing Serena. He’ll tell her in a week after the contracts are done. Blair points out that she doesn’t even remember meeting Gabriel the night Georgina drugged her.

Nate learns that Blair and Chuck got their Nancy Drew on together. He leases an apartment in Murray Hill, halfway between Columbia and NYU, because apparently this show takes place in some bizarro Manhattan that bears little geographical resemblance to the real thing. He asks Chuck to stay away from Blair. Blair, of course, picks that moment to call Chuck to ask him to help her bust Gabriel.

Rufus is also living in bizarro Manhattan because he’s convinced he’ll sell the gallery for three times what he paid for it and pay Dan’s Yale tuition. At an antique store, Dan and Jenny notice Rufus looking at an ugly ring that is in no way, shape or form an engagement ring. Apparently Rufus is living in real Manhattan, because he isn’t getting any offeres for the gallery. He confides to Vanessa that he has an offer to sell his band’s music catalog, but it’s for less than it would have been last year. Jenny tells Rufus she’s okay with him marrying Lily.

This week’s big party is a Co-op meeting at Lily’s place. Blair insists on taking Gabriel on a grand tour. As they’ve arranged, Chuck brings Poppy in to Serena’s bedroom. Poppy accuses Serena of stealing her boyfriend. She orders Gabriel to leave with her or lose his investors. He dumps Poppy. Serena, proving she’s not smart enough to get in to Brown without connections, tells Gabriel she’ll help him find new investors at the meeting. Chuck asks Gabriel about the night he met Serena. Blair agrees to move in with Nate. Chuck tells them that Gabriel claims he met Serena the night before the SATs at Butter, an impossibility since the club was closed. Nate wants Blair to leave with him and let Chuck handle it. Blair stays and tells Serena. Serena insists Gabriel is trustworthy. That’s why Lily is investing with him. Rufus insists on investing, too, improbably believing it’s his ticket to wealth.

Nate claims he’ll trust Blair to track down Georgina with Chuck. They spend the night in his limo, hilariously primping together in the morning. Chuck decides he should speak to Georgina alone since Georgina hates Blair. Blair accuses Chuck of getting her to come with him to keep her away from Nate. Chuck points out Nate wants her to move in because he’s jealous of them. Georgina hugs Chuck and asks if he’s been saved. Everyone’s wearing awesome OMJC shirts. She insists she’s truly changed. He asks her about Gabriel. She confirms they never went to Butter. Georgina decides to go back to Manhattan with Chuck, presumably to settle some scores.

Serena grows a brain and asks Gabriel what he thought of Georgina, referring to her “red hair.” Gabriel doesn’t correct her. Serena realizes he’s lying. Gabriel kisses Poppy. They were jointly scamming the co-op folks. They’re about to leave town when Rufus shows up with his check. Serena calls Chuck to say that he’s right. Chuck realizes Blair left in the limo. Blair accuses Nate of not really trusting her. He tells her he loves her. When Serena arrives at Gabriel’s place, he is gone. Poppy tells Serena that she gave Gabriel 500 grand.

Vaneesa confesses to Dan that she slept with Chuck — twice. Dan is surprisingly non-judgmental. Vanessa tells Dan about Rufus’s financial problems. Dan concludes he isn’t going to Yale. Someone should tell Dan about this nifty new invention: loans. Dan and Jenny give Rufus the ugly ring. Rufus insists on paying them back with the theoretical proceeds from Gabriel’s fake company.

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