Who Gives A Twit?

Two more celebs started driving home tweets this weekend after getting their twitter permits’ issued. Let’s welcome aboard Kirstie Alley & Tom Green. I’m a fan of Tom’s but I need to tweet him that dry humor is a hard sell on twitter. Here’s his first two messages: “@7:48PM 5/1/09: Hey everyone. This is my very first Tweet. That’s it.” @7:49PM 5/1/09: This is my second.” Maybe it’s lines like that which caused Drew Barrymore and Donald Trump to fire him. Tom, follow Donnie Wahlberg for tips on how to tweet gems.

Kirstie Alley on the other hand, needs no help at all as this tweet confirms; “NO MEDS FOR MED QUESTIONS..it is POSSIBLE to just B genuinly HAPPY!! and WILD…WEEEEEEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAA.” I’ll have whatever she’s having…

In a 24 hour period, Kirstie tweeted over 160 times, is following Melissa Gilbert (and as she twitted ‘vis versa”), plus prepped us for her profile pic with this twitty; “My first photo will be from several years ago before I got fat. then Ill spring out the sick sh*t!!” I am officially making a twee’diction, by Friday Kirstie Alley & Steve Buscemi will be TFF’s. (Formally known as “BFF”, get with the program!)

And speaking of Melissa Gilbert and Steve Buscemi, she tweeted first thing today to Mr. B; “I have this recurring dream where u take me on a date to see Jose Feliciano. Is that wrong?” Not with me, and probably not with Steve, but possibly with Bruce Boxleitner.

Offering an explanation on weight issues, Armenian Princess (hey, that’s what she wrote on her Twitter bio) Kim Kardashian tweeted out a confession and new path; “Why is it when I am in New Orleans, I eat so badly? When I get home, I need to rethink my eating habits! Summer is so close.” Last week you said it was OK to have cellulite and now you’re worried about summer? Instead of rethinking eating habits, rethink your publicist. P.S. You’re hot regardless…but…summer is coming…

Let’s read what else was on the minds of the rich and t’wamous over the t’weekend…

Kal_Penn @ 12:20PM 5/4/09: walking down the street, minding my own business when suddenly: “Hey man! I voted for you on American Idol! I voted for you!!!” Classic. Jonas Brothers @12:26AM 5/2/09: Hey everyone, we spent the past 6 months working really hard Penn Jillette @12:38PM 5/4/09: They’ve changed the name “Swine flu” to “H1N1” to as not offend pigs. Kathy Griffin @12:00AM 5/1/09: Whoa. Kirstie Alley on Oprah today. What a nutbag And this time I mean Kirstie. Tony Robbins @ 11:19PM 5/3/09: The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear. Annie Duke @10:50PM 5/3/09: hmmmm…Joan said she is here to play the game but she keeps running me down for playing the game…hmmmm…Joan Rivers @7:56PM 5/4/09: Watch how Annie Duke does EVERYTHING and lets us know every second how brilliant she is. Maybe Annie should legally change her name to Ann-ME Duke. Perez Hilton @12:12PM 5/4/09: Oh. My. GOD!!!!! I’m hearing that nude pics of a special someone may be hitting the Internets very soon. Please, Jesus, let this be true!!!! Steven Seagal @ 1:16PM 5/2/09: I’m considering taking up the saxophone. What do you all think? George Stephanopoulos @ 14:40PM 5/4/09: Conservatives say “empathy” wrong criteria for Supreme Court. Liberals want Obama to ignore GOP and appoint liberal force on Court…And you?

No comment George, I don’t mix politics and twits…

What do I give a Twit about? Lauren Conrad kissing a dog on ‘Family Guy,’ the final two contestants being revealed on ‘Celebrity Apprentice,’ and a sneak peek of the new animated series ‘The Goode Family.’

Tweet Out!

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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