Desperate Housewives: “Marry Me A Little”

This was a strange episode. The act breaks before the commercials weren’t suspenseful. They were just breaks. I wonder if there were some massive post-production changes.

In my favorite opening of the season, Mary Alice narrates that Karl suggested that Bree get a secret bank account and a phony set of books. They are shot and costumed in a film noir style. They have crackling chemistry. Please show, pair them. The story writes itself. He persuades her to stage a break-in so she can hold on to her favorite possessions. During the break in, Karl points out how repressed she is. She breaks Orson’s dental award. I’m disappointed that it isn’t shaped like a molar. When Orson sees the house has been burglarized, he realizes how his robbery victims felt. When Orson tells her he’s going to have a stolen mask replaced she feels guilty. Karl tells her that clients always have second thoughts. She’s worried she’s going to spend the rest of her life alone. She won’t. Bree decides to go through with the divorce. Orson hears a message from the storage unit. Orson realizes what she did. Orson goes to the unit and stares at the mask.

Jackson convinces Susan they should throw an engagement party to make their Green Card marriage look real. They tell Mike and Katherine they’re getting married. Katherine is thrilled. Mike thinks they’re moving too fast. At the engagement party, Jackson tells Dave the police scheduled an interview with him. Mike points out that he no longer has to pay alimony. Why was he paying in the first place? I’d understand child support, but Susan has a job. Mike’s not rich. Was Karl her divorce lawyer? In any case, Susan is worried. She needs the money. Mike suddenly changes his mind. He wants to marry Katherine. While Katherine is on the phone with Dave, Susan tells Katherine about the green card. Katherine offers to talk to Mike on her behalf. Dave overhears. Susan gets a text from Mike that he’s going to keep paying the alimony. Of course, Katherine is the one who sent it. I hope she plans to pay Susan every month. Jackson pledges to do what he can to make it a good fake marriage. As they prepare to get married, ICE arrests Jackson for his expired student visa. Bull. It would take months for them to get around to launching an investigation. Dave smiles, enjoying his handiwork.

Juanita wants a canopy bed. She thinks that if Gabi buys frivolous things for herself she can do it for Juanita. Gabi takes Juanita to volunteer at the soup kitchen to make her appreciate what she has. She runs into an old acquaintance, Fran, from the tennis club. It turns out she’s eating at the soup kitchen. Despite her own history of financial difficulties, Gabi can’t figure out how Fran lost her money. Fran tells her that her husband died. His illness wiped out their savings. Fran says it can happen to anyone. Gabi disagrees, arguing that she and Carlos managed to get by when he was blind. Yes, Gabi, because he was able to keep working. This story is abruptly dropped, which is why I think something strange happened in the edit bay.

Tom’s in a funk because his job interview went badly. He thinks he’s old and irrelevant. He runs into a college friend at the party who looks way younger than he does. He admits he had plastic surgery. Tom wants to get his face done too, over Lynette’s objections. Lynette brings a co-worker with terrible plastic surgery to meet Tom. He figures out what she’s doing. She admits she’s concerned about looking older than he does. She thinks he looks great the way he is now.

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