90210: “Zero Tolerance”

Remember how amazing the prom episode was on the original recipe Beverly Hills, 90210? This… isn’t.

Harry bans after prom parties. There are no post prom festivities in Kansas! Violators will be sent to summer school. I don’t know how he can stop something that happens outside of school grounds, but Harry’s had fascist tendencies all season. He persuades Annie to participate in an humiliating PSA about the evils of after parties.

Dixon hopes Silver will enjoy prom and decide to return to West Beverly. Silver insists she’s only going to please Dixon. In order to blend it, she buys a pink dress and spray tans.

Liam turns in a blank English exam. Ryan doesn’t understand why he has such a bad attitude. Kelly and Harry tell him that his stepfather is considering sending him to military school. If he gets involved in school activities and brings up his grades he’ll avoid it. Liam invites Naomi to prom. He continues to badger Annie about dropping her nice girl act. A nerdy guy, Charlie, asks Annie to prom. She says yes to prove to Liam she really is nice.

Naomi and Jen move into their new house. Jen advises her to get what she wants from Liam by withholding sex. When she goes dress shopping, Naomi’s credit card is declined. Naomi realized all the household expenses went on her card. Jen admits she’s broke, but claims it’s due to bad investments. Naomi is understanding.

Ethan is acccepted to All-American lacrosse camp. Dixon and Silver persuade him to go stag to prom.

When they arrive at prom, Silver is too nervous to go inside. Her friends convince her to try. She walks in with Dixon and Ethan. Gee, I wonder if Silver and Ethan are going to end up together. Ethan tells Ryan he’s not going to Lacrosse camp. He’d rather visit his Dad in Montana. It’s the west Bev version of Dazed and Confused.

Liam acts disinterested, despite Naomi’s efforts to engage him.

Ryan brings Jen, to Kelly’s surprise. Kelly was Jen’s guidance counselor. They have a run in in the ladies room. Jen chides Kelly for writing her a negative college reccommendation for Yale. Kelly calls her out on being self centered and devious, because she stole a term paper to become valedictorian. Kelly warns Ryan about Jen. He thinks she’s jealous. Jen gets a phone call. She tells whoever is on the other end that she wants a divorce. Maybe she’s married to Steve Saunders.

Charlie asks Annie out again. She tells him she isn’t interested. He’s insulted that she said yes out of pity, and tells her to take her pity and shove it. Liam gives her the thumbs up. Harry overhears two girls planning an alcohol filled after party. Harry announces that he’ll be at the after party, pissing off the host. Charlie starts the rumor that Annie did it.

Dixon is elected prom king. Silver is a write-in winner for prom queen. She makes a heartfelt speech, ending with her embracing her true personality by going on a cliched anti-prom screed. She’s tried of conforming. She turns the title down, giving the crown to Naomi. Dixon. who arranged for her to win, is heartbroken. Silver thanks Dixon. She wants to return to West Beverly. He’s insulted by her anti-prom statements, since the prom meant so much to him. Ethan tells Silver her speech was awesome. Oh, just go make a porn movie together already.

Naomi realizes Liam asked her to the prom to make his stepfather happy. After discovering he looked up her favorite flower on Facebook, she concludes he really does like her. By that definition, I’m in love with a bunch of stangers. He opens up about his family.

Navid and Ty get into a fight. Adrianna’s water predictably breaks. It’s the big cliffhanger to get everyone to tune in to the season finale next week. Too bad everyone will be watching the sneak preview of Glee.

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