Deep Soap: Glass Half Full

Three And A Half Hours Of Entertainment

Tuesday, I enjoyed every soap in the CBS line-up.  Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket.  When I learned The Young & The Restless’s Adam was botoxing his eyeballs last week, I assumed that he was also gaslighting Ashley.  But it was still fun to learn that he was doing it by losing enough weight to slide out of his ankle monitor.  He must have had massive cankles to lose that much weight there.

But the highlight of the day for me was Nina deciding she’s going to stay in town to write a screenplay based on Kay’s memoirs.  Nina is my girl.  It’s terrific to see Tricia Cast back for more than a cameo. However I cringed at how easily Amber got to be Nina’s writing partner without any screenwriting experience whatsoever.  I wish it were that easy in real life.  I can’t wait until Phillip IV, as played by John Driscoll, joins Nina. Although it’s going to create timeline issues.  In theory, Cane should be the same age as Phillip IV’s father.  No way is Daniel Goddard old enough to be Driscoll’s parent.  If Nina is going to stick around for good, I hope the show will finally reunite her with the by now grown son that Rose DeVille stole from her in the 1980s.  It’s the story viewers have been waiting decades to see.

I tuned in to The Bold & The Beautiful to check out Don Diamont’s first appearance on the show.  On a superficial level, I think he looks great with a beard and California casual clothes.  So far, I don’t see much of a difference between his portrayal of Bill Spencer and Brad Carlton, but I hope the character will evolve over time.  I had a moment of horror when Bill proposed that Stephanie would take the world by storm by… starting a blog.  I may have screamed, “Everyone has them.  Nobody cares.”  But when Stephanie used the opportunity to take Eric down, calling himself a man who liked to surround himself with bitches in heat, I laughed out loud.  If Marc Jacobs video blogged like that about Karl Lagerfeld, people would pay attention. I also found Jackie’s ultimatum to Owen — keep sleeping with me or lose your job — hilarious.  Did Owen really think he could outplay Jackie?  Workplace sexual harassment has never  been so amusing.

As The World Turns is the weak link in CBS’s line up.  But I actually found the burgeoning Jade/Casey/Alison/Hunter/Emily quadrangle enjoyable.  Hunter is yet another stereotypical daytime computer nerd.  It strained credulity that he wouldn’t know what sort of food to bring to a barbecue, and that everyone else would find it bizarre that he didn’t want a burger.  I thought the grilled beef-carcinogens link was pretty well known.  But Evan Alan Cole brings a lot of charm to the role.  I was amused that Emily seemed to have so much trouble formatting a blog entry, when Stephanie Forrester seemed to master the technology in about thirty seconds a half hour prior.  Word Press isn’t that difficult and, as an editor, Emily should be very web savvy.  This is why the print media is dying!  I hope ATWT will do the unexpected and have Emily end up getting back together with Casey.  They have far more chemistry than Casey and Alison do.

Finally, the Natalia/Emma/Doris/Frank scenes on Guiding Light were, like everything else in the Otalia storyline, moving and real.  Frank’s selfless decision to lobby Doris for Rafe’s release was poignant.  He truly is the nice guy who finishes last.  I took it as a meta shout out to GL’s budget problems that Doris is now both mayor and Chief of Police.  Springfield has the potential to be the most corrupt town in America.  Speaking of which, my jaw dropped when the show revealed that James Spaulding was pulling a Bernie Madoff.  It was both terrible and hilarious.  I am trying to figure out how an 18 year-old pulled off a ponzi scheme.  Did he have a prospectus?  Falsified returns?  It certainly is a topical storyline.  I loved the twist that he made it look like Bill was running the phony investment fund.  The ripple effects could be huge.  Zack Conroy is daytime’s answer to Ed Westwick, managing to be sexy, despicable and sympathetic.

In Praise of Days of Our Lives, Too.  Seriously.

Tuesday hell really did freeze over.  I found myself appreciating the witty dialogue on Days of Our Lives.  Sami compared herself to the old woman who lived in a shoe.  Dr. Baker said that Nicole made Stalin look easy going.  Victor tartly reminded Caroline that Greece was never a feudal nation.  DOOL’s dialogue has been largely “Point A to Point B” since Dena Higley took over.  It’s nice to see the show’s writers putting effort into making individual scenes entertaining.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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