Bret Michaels on ‘Celebrity Apprentice’: ‘I Should’ve Been in the Boardroom”



Here’s the deal with last night’s ‘Celebrity Apprentice‘: Michael Johnson did not make Rod the project manager because he liked him. He did it to get rid of Rod from the get-go. Right from the get-go, Rod was set up to be killed by Michael.

Everyone keeps saying they’re a team player. But the fact of the matter is that’s not necessarily true. Goldberg is a team player. I am a team player. Rod is a team player. Curtis was middle of the road, which is funny because he’s not usually that type of guy, but he was on this project. He did the bare minimum to get by. Curtis and Michael were sitting down on the job. They were not going to give Rod 100%. No one really stepped up to help Rod by myself and Goldberg. And, really, Michael was absolutely hell-bent on whatever it took to make sure that Rod went home.

The Rib Incident
Curtis and Michael have some weird bond. I said to everybody at one point in the ‘rib room’ where they were eating ribs and chicken or whatever, and I laid the hammer down and said, ‘Listen, we f@#&ing understand that Rod has no technical skills. So what we gotta do is pump up our volume to make up for what he lacks. Why are we looking to throw our teammate under the bus? If our teammate is there, then we are all there.’

That said Rod did make a few major mistakes. He did not delegate specifically enough to the other team members. He didn’t assign someone to do research to get the proper ‘Harry Potter’ terms down correctly. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two was his lack of technical skills. And, Rod knew that Curtis and Michael were not going to give him 100% and he lacked in staying on top of them. I would’ve done the opposite. I would’ve been like, ‘Listen. You don’t need to like me. But you do need to get the f@#&ing names of the characters right!’

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What they didn’t show a lot of was that Rod was a team player and worked hard. It was Rod, Goldberg, and myself painting the bricks for our castle for about six hours until two in the morning. We painted and built until our hands were raw. I really thought Goldberg was going to pass out at one point he was working so hard. That is where I have to stick up for Rod. He did work hard. Curtis and Michael did not.

While I was in the room building the castle, what they didn’t show was when I would make a suggestion and – let’s just say that one or two people in particular — finally would be like, ‘Well no I wouldn’t do it that way.’ And, I was like, ‘Then what the f*&k would you do?’ They were just more interested in criticizing than in helping.

‘Rock Stars Get No Cred’
I don’t know what Michael’s deal is with me. But, let me say this: I went into this show hearing about Michael Johnson and the steroids and all this crap about him cheating. And, I didn’t care what he did. He’s on my team and regardless I’m not here to judge anybody. I’m here to get our team to win, then eventually I will do battle. But let’s win some together first.

It’s very obvious to the entire world now that Michael Johnson does not like me. But, I’m the only one on the men’s team who has won so far. You can come at me all you want. But whatever I did, I won and I gave credit to our team, not to me. I don’t mean to pat myself on the back, but…

I think Michael judged me for ‘Rock of Love.’ I think his take on me is that I’m just a rock star party band guy and he wondered why am I in the business world. What he forgot is that I have run my music career from the basement to the tower. I go on tour and I’m signing a paycheck for 52 crewmembers every year and a permanent staff that works for me. Rock stars get no cred. We get street cred. But we don’t get any boardroom cred!

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Boardroom: ‘Rod Made a Big Mistake’
I think Rod made a big mistake by not bringing me into the boardroom. The reason Rod would not bring Goldberg or I back because the three of us worked our asses off. It should have been Rod, Michael, and myself in the boardroom. And, had Rod done that, I know it would’ve been Michael going home.

Donald Trump, no doubt, wanted me in that boardroom. But I think Trump knew I worked really hard and he wasn’t going to fire me for not having worked hard. I am a hard worker regardless of what is going on around me. I think what Trump wanted was to hear what the f*&k was the problem on this team. I think Trump also wanted to watch the fireworks between Rod, Michael, and myself. And, yes, there would’ve been major fireworks between Michael and I because I’ve about had it.

I think Trump has respect for Rod for this reason: he didn’t crawl up in a corner and die. I’m going to say the most politically incorrect thing ever about Rod and his legal problems. If you’re a politician, I’m sorry but there are some bodies somewhere buried. If Rod did a few things, okay, so he did a little extra for cash. Tell me someone who hasn’t? Look at Enron. Look at Global Crossing. There are some bodies buried somewhere and I think Rod is no different. But, let me say this, I don’t know what he actually did. Was there wrongdoing go on? Maybe. I don’t know. All I know is Rod was good to me. He worked hard and I don’t think he was the right guy to go. Rod was really sad to leave. He really wanted to win.

Next Week’s ‘Heart-Wrenching’ Episode
There is no doubt that the next episode is going to be extremely, extremely tough. And, of all the irony in my life, what goes on while I’m there could either break me or make me stronger. It’s really one of the toughest moments of my life. But, I’m a fighter. It’s a very emotional time for me. And you’ll just have to watch to see. It’s a really heart-wrenching episode for me. I’ll fill you guys in more about it next Monday.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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