Ready for our latest adventure, Losties? You know I would never let you down and I’d never kick you off my damn boat. I might be fashionably late but there’s no way in Blind Date Hell I would ever miss this party! I really wish I could sit around the island and drink mai tais all day with my favorite readers, deconstructing the bestest show in the history of evers, but there’s always work to be done first. All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Recruit…
‘LOST‘ Flashes Before Your Eyes in 4, 3, 2 … whooooosh!
“Hey, What’s Your Name?”
“You Look Just Like Him.”
“Who Else Do You Look Like?”
“I Think I Know Him.”
“You were trapped on this island before you even got here.”
‘The Last Recruit’
There’s a new list in play because the Sheriff really wants to get off this Godforsaken Rock but it’s minus two because “Sayid’s a zombie and Claire’s nuts.” My TV husband Sawyer does not lie. De facto factions are splitting. Atoms are splitting. My head is splitting. But we’ve no time for questions, as usual!, since Blackie and Blondie need their substitutes in line because the atomic clock is ticking and we are on very a tight schedule! Wait, what?
So after five seconds of being assertive and delivering Jack to the Dark Side, Hurley is totally over this being-in-charge business and gives the rifle back to the Doc and is like, it’s all you, dude. With that, Jack Shephard is facing off with John Locke, just like the good old days. Yet Not. He’s clearly unsettled being in the presence of That Thing that resembles John Locke.
This session of Campfire Confessions is one of the best we’ve ever had. Smokey is just so thrilled that Jack came to visit, and before anyone bothers to remind Captain Awesome that he shouldn’t speak first (why is that?), he says, “You look just like him, but I don’t have any idea what you are.”
“Yes, you do, Jack,” says Not-Locke. Chills. (Please don’t tell me he’s Tyler Durden.)
Coming Full Circle
It’s the opposite of our Locke vs. Jack aka Man of Faith vs. Man of Science from Season 1. Jack is a man with faith now. He’s on the right path to his destiny. He’s let go. He’s put his trust in another. He’s accepted loss. And where has it gotten him? All alone, about to be tied to a tree in a jungle of mystery with the Man in Black! Thanks for the lesson in no good deed goes unpunished, Lost.
Meanwhile, the island isn’t done running over John Locke yet. The Man in Black takes some shots at Locke, calling him “stupid” and “not a believer” and “not special.” This isn’t the first time someone told Locke he wasn’t special (Jack was one of them, while Richard went with the gentler, “you’re not ready”). But we all know what this means. John Locke is special … because this is like, reverse world, or something. I have a good feeling we will see him redeemed, in some way, like many of our characters. Poor John Locke, who was locked in a school locker when he was 16-years-old, is still being bullied, even in death. This vexes me. I am vexed.
Live Together, Die Alone
Not-Locke reminds us again that we all have to leave together. I feel like I’ve heard that before somewhere. We know, Smokey, ‘You All Everybody,’ we know! Why? Because Horror Movie Rule #4 is NEVER SPLIT UP. Our Losties have been split up in various forms since the beginning and look at all the crazy that’s happened.
Who’s Your Daddy?
That little devil Smokey admits to Jack he’s been the Dead Daddy Impostor all along. Which, big-picture wise, isn’t really evil at all–it helped Jack ‘settle’ his daddy issues so he could be a better parent to his mini-me in the Alt-Verse. (Did Jack have an id, ego, superego kind of moment?) I’m more satisfied with this reveal than I was with The Whispers, at least.
Now that we know MIB ‘took’ Christian Shephard right after the crash, I’m convinced more than ever that Vincent is a shape-shifted Jacob whenever he feels like it too. If the Island ceases to be, I hope Sawyer has room on his damn boat for Vincent — or maybe TALL WALT can come and retrieve his dog, and oh yeah, maybe tell us why he’s so special.
The Dark Side Lightens Up
So now the chess pieces have been rearranged and we have a Rebel Alliance forming with Sawyer, Kate, Jack, Hurley, Sun and “the dude that stepped out of a 1970s Burt Reynolds movie” (Frank), who have high-tailed it over to Hydra Island on Libby’s boat, with a plan to double-cross Not-Locke and Widmore. Because “we are done going back, Kate.”
They’ve all deserted the Man in Black, except Sayid, but he looks like a man with a plan too, and is slightly less like a Zombie this week. I love when Not-Locke says all huffy, did Sawyer steal my boat? The scene with Sawyer and Jack’s “Guy Talk” about the Escape Plan was great too, right up until he told Jack to make a choice and get off his damn boat.
Jack, once again staring out at the sea, does jump off the boat because it doesn’t feel right, he knows there’s something he still has to do. “The island isn’t done with us yet.” It was just like when Sawyer jumped off the chopper during the Oceanic 6 rescue. When he swam to shore, Juliet said, “Nice day for a swim.” When Jack swam to shore, Not-Locke said, “Nice day for a swim.” Kind of like a timeloop?
~In Seasons 2 and 5, we saw Jin-Soo-Shi (love how Sun calls him that) set adrift alone on the ocean, first from the blown raft and second from the blown freighter.
~Willy Wonka (creepy Wonka song in this week’s preview) is looking for his heir apparent to the Chocolate Factory and to pass the torch–we saw MIB hand Jack a torch in a deliberate way in a pivotal scene. Wonka gives out Golden Tickets to five lucky candidates, who then fell prey to their own weaknesses and were ‘eliminated,’ except for the Chosen One. The Losties received Golden Passes from Oceanic Airlines as compensation for the crash. At a low point, Jack used to fly the route over and over again trying to get back to the island out of guilt for the ones he left behind.
Time for Clues or Coincidences!
A Leap of Faith
~Aaron Littleton was born on Day 42 of the crash on November 1, 2004 – 2004 happened to be a Leap Year.
*In fact: James Ford, Benjamin Linus, John Locke, Sun Paik and Shannon Rutherford were all born during Leap Years. Just sayin.’
My Dear Losties, I know, my head hurts too. But we must persevere. The truth is out there.
Fun Leap Fact: Superman is a Leap Day Baby. The comic book character, who leaps tall buildings in a single bound, was born on February 29. (Lost writers said they are comic book geeks and toss a nod to the genre every now and then.)
*If you were one of those special babies, you would, for example, be two years old and eight years old (in terms of your leap age vs. your real age) by the time the next leap year rolls around, which is 2012. Dun dun dun…lol.
A leap year is a year with 366 days. You get one extra day that year to adjust the calendar due to the couple of seconds lost each day, because at the end of a regular 365-day calendar year, you lose approximately six hours of time. Six hours into their flight, Oceanic Flight 815 had trouble with turbulence and their radio.
*Note: This theory may have been debunked already; I don’t read message boards or listen to podcasts, so this was just my own discovery this week, that is all. It does seem late in the game for something like this, but then again, they’ve been withholding information from us for six years.
But it sounds like a very specific timetable to me (is that why Widmore is worried about staying on schedule?), especially if you needed to try to merge two time lines and go baaaaacck to re-create certain events with EVERYBODY. I mean, you’d better be READY for it.
The All-Knowing Eloise Hawking tells Desmond Hume, “You’re not ready yet.”
“Ready are you? What know you of ready? For eight hundred years have I trained Jedi. My own counsel will I keep on who is to be trained. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. This one a long time have I watched. All his life has he looked away… to the future, to the horizon. Never his mind on where he was. Hmm? What he was doing. Hmph. Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A Jedi craves not these things. You are reckless.” — Oh, that explains why everyone’s looking in a freakin’ reflection this season and figuring out who they are. Thanks, Eloise! I mean Yoda.
Fantasy Island Baseball
The 1904 World Series was “a championship series that never occurred.” The managers of the teams had their own rivalry and canceled the game between the New York GIANTS and the Boston AMERICANS that year, a LEAP YEAR. And so launched the Great War, er, I mean the “Greatest Rivalry on Earth.”
Guys, did you see that the two teams were totally playing under aliases that year in The Eternal Spotless Sunshine of the Field of Dreams? Sawyer would be so proud. Jack, however, would not. Because his beloved re-nicknamed Boston Red Sox would not win the World Series of Baseball for another 86 years, until the historic feat finally happened in 2004.
~The Boston Red Sox broke the ‘Curse of the Bambino’ (Hurley’s Number’s were cursed) and won the World Series in 2004. Oceanic Flight 815 crashed in 2004, which happens to be a leap year.
~The Boston Red Sox won the World Series again in 2007. When Jack and the O6 lived off the island, it was 2007.
~And don’t forget, The Numbers–4 8 15 16 23 42–are all retired jersey numbers of the New York Yankees–the Boston Red Sox greatest rivals.
What does all this mean? I HAVE NO IDEA. Just ignore me. And that little Jungle Boy too. But this is fun, right? Right?
So, baseballs, stadiums, hot guys running up and down stairs … were Jack and Desmond in spring Jedi training??? Is Desmond our New Team Jacob and, gulp, Jack our New Team Man in Black? When Kate stitched up Jack after the plane crash, she asked him what color thread he wanted. Standard black.
~There are 108 stitches in a baseball. Dogen wouldn’t let his baseball hit the Temple floor. A Little Kate buried a BASEBALL and a TOY PLANE in a time capsule in her New Kids on the Block lunchbox that Jacob caught her stealing when he tapped her on the nose and said, ‘Don’t do that, Freckles!’ Deja-BOO!
BIG QUESTION MARK: The birth dates of both Jack Shephard (Guardian of) and Desmond Hume (the Island) are unknown to us at this juncture, so we don’t know if they are leap babies. Cliffhanger!
Also Note: Desmond says the island took four years of his life. Four years is the next leap year. Four leap years in real years is 16 years. If the island fell off its axis (Ben turned the wheel one way, Locke turned the wheel another way, in another mirroring) and somehow made a wacky time loop, could it be possible that Desmond has actually been ‘contained’ on the island for 16 years? Rousseau’s distress signal had been looping for 16 years. Just sayin.’
Losties, riddle me this: If some of our candidates are Leapers and there’s something willy-wonky with the time travel, just theoretically speaking, in a jungle of Mystery, could it be that maybe our Leap Year Babies are AGING differently than the Others?! We already know there is a time differential–Desmond was gone only a few seconds after he was nuked, but it was much longer than that in the Other World, and Faraday did a boomerang rocket experiment on the Freighter that revealed a time lapse of 31 minutes.
Why did Jack blackout and not remember the crash? Why do the ‘Others’ kidnap children? Why were there so many games, dolls and children’s books found on the island? Why are Jack and his son David always dressed alike? Why does the island have fertility issues? Why did we watch Juliet give Jack an appendectomy on the island and in the Alt-Verse, Jack can’t remember how he got the scar and his mom says the operation took place when he was seven or eight years old. Why did Richard Alpert show Juliet an X-ray of a girl in her twenties and Juliet said her insides looked like an 80-year-old woman? Why did attorney Ilana refer to Jack as Mr. Shephard instead of Dr. Shephard?
Are you still with me My Losties? Did your eyeballs roll out of your head? Do I sound like Jack after the bomb went off? I may have this completely bassackwards, but the fact is some key dates (like when Rousseau’s research expedition crashed) occured in leap years, which could be a total coincidence but still weird. That’s why they’re called theories, kids!
~Pregnant Sun and John-Not-Locke arriving at Jack’s hospital at the same time in two different ambulances.
~Star-crossed lovers Sun and Jin FINALLY reuniting on the island. Hugs! Kisses! Tears! Enjoy it while you can, Losties, because Annoying Zoe didn’t look so touched. And the bay-bee is okay!! (Really?)
~Perfect use of a Dead Lostie cameo when Ilana, who blew her mission to protect the Candidates last week, turns up as an attorney who owes Desmond a favor and just so happens to be looking for Claire to introduce her to her newly discovered brother Jack. And nice save there, Des, keeping Claire out of the adoption agency and preventing Aaron from being “raised by another.”
~The Other Mommy Kate talking down Crazy Mommy Claire and gently luring her onto the boat and back into the light. Wait, shouldn’t one of them stay behind since their boy might be running around the jungle in Other clothes? That kid’s gotta be Aaron, I’ve decided, after realizing his blonde hair is as ugly as Claire’s.
~Black leather jacket wearing Sawyer flirting with black leather jacket wearing Kate in the police station. “You don’t look like the murdering kind.” He forgot to call her Freckles. She blew off his charm. Ruh roh. She may be all about Jack in The End, Losties. I mean, did you see the Puppy Dog eyes Jack gave Kate when he saw her again at camp? My heart gave in a little.
~Everybody turns against the Man in Black–just as he swoops in and steals Jack. Where’s Jacob in all this? I know he’s ‘dead’ but I find the times when he decides to show himself to Hurley to be curious.
~Right before surgery, Jack sees Locke’s face and his own face in the mirror in the OR, and says, “I think I know him.” That’s the first time we’ve seen two faces in one mirror, by the way. Chills.
“So nice to see everyone back together again,” Not-Locke in a three-star hair-raising scene.
“People trying to kill us again.” Hurley, explaining what’s going on at camp.
“You were right, it’s a boy.” Claire to Desmond, who’s meddling with her adoption agency visit. “I have a nose for these things,” he says as he stalks her.
“We might want to avoid huddles,” — Sawyer, who’s about to screw over the Man in Black. Good luck, James!
“Sayid ain’t invited. He went to the Dark Side,” Sawyer to Hurley. “But Anakin came back,” Hurley-3CPO says to Han Solo, in yet another reference to Star Wars.
“No, No, No … It’s Him!” — a panicked Sun, who’s just recognized John-Not-Locke being wheeled in on a gurney after being hit by Desmond, as she’s rushed to the emergency room with a gunshot. His eyes were freaky. Totally could be a legitimate trauma-induced daze. Or, it could totally be the Man in Black taking form a little sooner than we thought.
“It’s okay, Jack. You’re with me now.” — The Man in Black, after Annoying Zoe launched explosives at MIB’s camp and Jack got his bell rung.
~Is Jack definitely the last recruit? There wasn’t much free will involved in the recruitment of that candidate. Whereas Claire made a choice to go with Kate. And Anakin, er, Sayid, is totally coming back from the Dark Side, because there’s no way he shot Desmond down in that well. I mean, what would he tell Nadia???
~Do we think Zombie Sayid and Crazy Claire can pull an Anakin Skywalker and return from the Dark Side? Will the island let them? And not be ALT-ered like in Pet Cemetery.
~Are you as confident as I am that Sayid did NOT shoot Desmond in the well and he is starting to ‘feel’ something again? “I just shot an unarmed man. I needed a moment,” seems, to me, to indicate that he is, even if he’s lying. Why doesn’t Smokey catch on that The Punisher is going rogue? Why doesn’t MIB fire up the Smoke Monster machine and regain control of this entire situation???
~Why doesn’t Sawyer want anyone to know he was in Australia? How was Kate able to call him out on it in five seconds? Should we assume he did kill the wrong man again, Frank Duckett (or maybe another Frank, ahem, in an Alt-Verse twist), instead of his revenge mark, Locke’s dad and con man Anthony Cooper?
~The biggest mystery to me right now is what is up with Crazy Claire’s AWFUL wig? Her awful acting is only slightly more tolerable than that mess on her head. Is that some kind of ridiculous homage to Turnip Head? Why doesn’t someone help her out with that? Or throw her down a well!
~Seriously, why is Annoying Zoe still alive? I can not stand the scenes with her. Are we supposed to take her seriously as a baddie? Am I to believe that, after everything our Beloved Survivors have been through, that they can’t take down the NerdHerd of Tina Fey, the Chubby Guy and the Other One? Really?
LOSTIES, I’M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET.
As we get spine-chillingly closer to The End, we need to get serious about this Situation. I know there are some of you who boarded the plane late and have questions about Way Back times. Like, what do Polar Bears have to do with it? What’s a Tailie? Who’s Horace? Is that a Temple Jacuzzi? Are there Dharma Sharks in it? And what’s up with the ZOMBIES? Remember when LOST was about getting rescued from an island? Ha. Where’d that show go?
So send all your ‘Lost’ Burning Questions or ‘Lost’ Brilliant Theories to moi, Fancast Senior Editor, and I will make a list, cross off the Bad Candidates, place a few calls to Ann Arbor and do my best to answer them. Then I’ll post them right back here on the blogs next week, so we can all share our Pearls of Wisdom from the Tree of Knowledge on the freaking AXIS MUNDI with each other (you didn’t think you’d get out of this recap without mundi talk did you?)
Send Your Questions to: email@example.com
Besides, it’s not like there’s a new episode next Tuesday to discuss–don’t forget, there’s a repeat (it’s the Bitchin’ Richard ‘Ab Aeterno’ episode), so we need a reason to get together next week anyway. Are you in or are you out?