I Am Not In Love With Y&R’s Billy and Victoria
I want to love Billy and Victoria’s drunken love-hate impulsive marriage on ‘The Young & The Restless.‘ All the elements of a good story are there. Their families are at war. They dislike each other, yet keep hooking up. It’s the formula of one of my favorite soap classic storylines: marriage for the wrong reasons turns to real love. Their dialogue is sharp. The rebel Abbott and the buttoned down Newman loyalist should bring out the best in each other. Yet I cannot muster up as much enthusiasm as I should. Billy Miller and Amelia Heinle are giving the stoyline their all but they do not have the incendiary chemistry that makes these stories work. Billy and Victoria are hotter than Victoria and J.T. or Billy and Mac were, but the same could be said of tepid tea. Abby (Marcy Rylan) and Daniel (Michael Grazadei) have displayed more sexual tension in just a handful of scenes. The writers are working overtime to convey how sexy and wild they are with single entendre dialogue like this exchange on Thursday:
Victoria: Oh, hello. You cook.
Billy: Yeah, usually in the nude.
Victoria: Well… You should watch out. You’re gonna burn your sausage.
Maybe Victoria is just too intrinsically humorless a character to pull off ‘Three’s Company‘ style comedy. Victoria does not come across to me as a formerly uptight person cutting loose. She seems like a currently uptight person pretending to cut loose. I am not sure if its Heinle’s acting choices or Victoria’s history, but I do not believe that she is really getting sucked into the adventure of a secret marriage.
Another problem is that Billy and Victoria’s quickie-marriage is not much different from all the other rushed marriages on Y&R lately. They had about as much of a relationship as the allegedly in love Jack and Emily did when they got engaged. The marriage is being treated as a big secret. But I cannot see what the consequences will be when the news gets out. Victoria has already lost custody of Reed. Victor will be upset, but so what? He always hates her husbands. I want to love this couple but I don’t believe they are in love with each other.
But DOOL’s Maggie and Victor Had Me At Hello
‘Days of Our Lives‘ launched its hot new summer romance this week. It involves two people old enough to collect Social Security. Victor and Maggie are on fire. I had hoped the show would go there when the two started spending time together. But I did not expect them to be so sexy and funny. Maggie spent Wednesday attempting to talk Victor into fleeing the country to avoid Vivian’s crazy scheme to trap him into marrying her.
Maggie: Victor, does she literally know where the bodies are buried?
Maggie: Oh, so then this is simply an instance of unbridled lust. Sorry. Sorry. I mean, I swore I wasn’t gonna go there.
Oh, snap, Maggie. In all my years as a DOOL fan, I have only seen Maggie play the supportive matriarch. She is quite the pistol. Rogers obviously relishes having a meaty storyline that treats Maggie like a vibrant woman, not just a mother. She and Aniston look like they are having the time of their lives.
The increasingly hilarious Victor gave it right back to her.
Victor: Why don’t you be more like me? I never butt in and tell people what to do.
Maggie: Okay, Victor. One last ditch effort. Vivian texted everyone and said you were sick. She has it coming.
Victor: Has what coming?
Maggie: This. You’re gonna climb out the window and wait out back, and I’m gonna go downstairs and announce that you were… summoned by the U.N. to rescue the Greek economy. And then I’m gonna come around and pick you up and drive you to the airport.
Victor: You’re telling me to run away. “Run away, run away.”
Maggie: Ooh-hoo. Honey, I’m offering you a ride.
Victor: And what a–
Victor: Well, I was just thinking what a ride it could be.
That, Y&R’s Billy and Victoria, is how you do a double entendre. They’re funny, they’re smart, and they have each other’s number. I’d love to be seated across the table from them at a dinner party because they are so darned entertaining. Rogers and Aniston make me believe that these two are dying to have wild and crazy, forbidden sex. DOOL has shown that a romance between older people does not have to be old fashioned.