‘Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami’ Premiere: Hot Or Not?

The best part of Sunday’s not-all-that exciting second season premiere of ‘Kourtney and Khloe take Miami’ was the preview of the upcoming season, featuring Kourtney giving Khloe a bikini wax, what looks like a breast milk food fight, a lot of blood (which will probably turn out to be from someone stepping on a sharp rock or something) and Kourtney’s boyfriend Scott Disick showing off the family jewels, which, based on the size of the blurred area, are not all that impressive.

The alleged raison d’etre for the series was that the sisters need to turn around the Miami branch of the Kardashian family boutique, Dash.  Apparently, most of the staff has been fired or quit and there is barely any merchandise in stock.  That sure seems like what would happen if the boutique mostly existed for the purposes of the reality show and was ignored in between seasons.  The sisters act like turning the boutique around will be an arduous task, but somehow Kourtney is able to hire a whole new staff and clean up the store before Khloe arrives. I bet every small business owner would like a team of reality show producers who would do all the difficult parts of their job. Season over!  That was quick!  The hiring process is totally glossed over, undoubtedly to obscure that the new clerks were cast rather than hired and are getting paid a lot more than most retail slaves make.  I assume they will be desperate to establish themselves as the next breakout reality stars in the hopes of getting their own spin-offs.  I will say this for the aspiring fame whores: they have surprisingly natural looking noses.  We learn that one of the new hires “really likes to talk about sex.”  I thought only American Apparel asked those kind of questions during interviews for retail positions.

Watch A Bonus ‘Kourtney And Khloe Take Miami’ Clip:

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The most notable supporting character is Kourtney’s slimy baby Daddy Scott. He comes across as the Spencer Pratt pretending to be Chuck Bass.  Ostensibly, he is in Miami to start a nightclub, which I suspect actually entails him getting a fake job at a real club looking for some national exposure.  He also claims to be in the vitamin business.  So he’s either selling Herbalife or Monavie.  I wonder why a beautiful, famous woman with lots of options ended up with him.  Kourtney needs to meet a nice computer programmer who will worship her.

Khloe’s arc this episode is to go from irresponsible party girl to hard worker.  To that end she complains unconvincingly to her sister about how annoyed she left her husband behind in L.A. when there is little actual work to do.  The scenes of the two of them hanging out in the condo seem the most staged in the episode.  I would think that after years of shooting reality shows they would be better at playing themselves.

Despite all the hard work they supposedly have to do, the first thing Khloe and Kourtney do is go clubbing.  Khloe gets totally wasted.   I guess that DUI and subsequent three hours in jail for violating the terms of her probation really scared her straight.  The next morning she is allegedly hungover and wants to skip their all important photo shoot but she looks like she is on the verge of bursting out laughing.  However, the scenes of them at the shoot cussing each other out while wearing nothing but body paint seem quite believable. This leads to me to believe that Khloe really did get wasted but the hangover scenes were recreated after the fact.

Less believable is the subplot about Khloe’s radio show.  First of all, what does Khloe get to host a radio show? She is not particularly witty or articulate. The answer of course is fame, which is enough to qualify for a whopping four hours a week of airtime.  This does not strike me as a particularly large time commitment, but Khloe immediately wants to know if she can tape it in advance. Predictably, she manages to show up late, in a scenario that was probably planned since the show was progressing smoothly without her.  She pronounces the experience her wake up call.  Hey, Miami radio station, I’m equally inarticulate, have a blog, and promise to show up on time. Can I have a timeslot?

Khloe comes up with an innovative plan to show her new commitment to work.  I hope you’re sitting down for this one. She passes out flyers for the boutique.  It’s so crazy it just might work! Eager for the chance to be on camera, dozens of people show up to try on clothes.  Khloe pronounces that this short term uptick in foot traffic –which may not have resulted in actual sales — has turned the boutique’s prospects around. Wow.  That was one productive flyer.  If only General Motors had thought to hire Khloe.

What did you all think? Was the premiere surprisingly less dramatic than the trailer seemed to promise? Is this just a major set up for more drama to come? Did it seem a little too staged?

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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