Heather Locklear’s Out Of Rehab; Now Let’s Rehab Her Career!

Heather Locklear (Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Heather Locklear (Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Now that Heather Locklear has wrapped up her 30-day rehab stint to address a prescription drug problem, it’d be nice to see her stage a full-on comeback with a hit TV role. This is after all the bombshell who exploded onto the scene with simultaneous roles on ‘Dynasty‘ and ‘T.J. Hooker‘ – looking dynamite in both cocktail dresses and police blues – then later went on to breathe bitchtastic life into a struggling first-year sudser called ‘Melrose Place.’

Lightning failed to strike twice when Locklear was recruited to bring buzz to The CW’s recent ‘Melrose’ reboot, but we’re thinking that’s partly because we’ve seen Amanda’s wares (and underwears) before.

Heather Locklear Won’t Face Hit-and-Run Charges

One question to ask: Is Heather better as a comic and/or campy element within a drama, a la ‘Melrose’? Or is she serviced better by a comparatively serious role on a comedy (see: ‘Spin City‘)?

Here’s the list of shows we think Heather would be the better for joining.

‘Nurse Jackie’: What better forum for Locklear to continually fend off her demons than a show centered on a pill-sniffing R.N.? Guest-starring as herself, she could give Jackie’s a sobering tutorial on how to… well, be sober.

‘Entourage’: Then again, if Locklear were to play herself, we could see her going all cougar on the always-game Vincent Chase.

‘The Bold and the Beautiful’: In reality, of course, Locklear calls fellow ‘Melrose’ alum Jack Wagner her beau. Surely this CBS soap could dig up some long-lost Forrester relative that could mix it up with Wagner’s Nick.

‘American Idol’: Armed with every scrap of musical knowledge she absorbed from ex-husband Richie Sambora, Locklear could ostensibly supply Simon’s quota of informed snark while also offering that, um, “special” vibe once provided by Paula.

‘Dancing With the Stars’: Lord knows, Denise Richards has picked up Heather’s scraps before. Locklear could effectively school her frenemy by ‘Dancing’ her way to victory – or at least get past the second round.

‘Two And a Half Men’: Similar to our ‘DWTS’ thinking, Charlie Sheen just might tear up his ginormous new paychecks if it meant rubbing ex-wife Denise’s nose in a cheeky, on-screen romance with her onetime rival. Maybe the libidinous lawyer Locklear played during Season 1 is due for an encore?

‘Lonestar’: This fall premiere is oft summed up as a modern-day ‘Dynasty.’ Having seen the pilot, we suspect it will ultimately need a shot of some Sammy Jo-style slutiness.

‘90210’: If the world in fact does need more Amanda Woodward, maybe she could sign Adrianna as a client of her PR firm?

‘Desperate Housewives’: Er, actually strike this one. Locklear’s arrival is perhaps the last thing that set needs.

Do you agree that Locklear’s due for a true comeback? On what TV series would you like to see her turn up?

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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