Time For Drunk And Disorderly Snooki To Grow Up

Snooki getting arrested.  (Splash)

Snooki getting arrested. (Splash)

It’s time to grow up, Snooki!

Come on, Snooks. Drunk and disorderly? You’ve got to be kidding me.

Well, maybe it’s not TOO surprising – partying IS the principal storyline on ‘Jersey Shore.’ But still – that doesn’t exempt Snooki (aka Nicole Polizzi) from obeying the laws of Seaside Heights, N.J., the beach community where ‘Jersey Shore’ is filmed.

That’s where Snooki got nabbed Friday for making a public spectacle of herself, staggering around the boardwalk like she was Otis the town drunk on the old “Andy Griffith Show.”
The story makes you wonder: Does Snooki have a problem with alcohol? Or does reality TV? The genre has long depended on alcohol to lubricate the interaction between reality-show participants. The consumption of spirits is a key feature of dozens of reality series – from “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” on ABC to VH1’s Bret Michael’s show, “Rock of Love” and numerous shows in between.

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While Snooki’s arrest will inevitably create more interest and possibly draw more viewers to “Jersey Shore,” whose second season debuted to record numbers for MTV (more than 5 million viewers), her behavior could just as easily turn off many who might have watched the show but now are too disgusted to sample it.

“Even their own governor thinks that they are a disgrace and embarrassment to his state,” wrote one Fancast commenter, about the “Jersey Shore” gang, on our story about Snooki’s arrest.

Gov. Chris Christie voiced his disapproval of MTV reality series earlier this month on ABC’s “This Week” for giving New Jersey’s family-friendly shore communities a bad name. The local cops in Seaside Heights probably took that to heart, deciding they’d better pay more attention to the “Jersey Shore” guidos and guidettes now that the MTV series has just started filming its third season on the Seaside Heights boardwalk.

Just started filming – and already Snooki’s in alcohol-related trouble, again! It was just last season that she got involved in a notorious bar brawl. Maybe it was her fault and maybe it wasn’t, but you still have to ask: Is this any way for a TV star to act? Or any 22-year-old, for that matter? Of course it isn’t.

Last season, Snooki said, “”I’m not trashy, unless I drink too much.”

Warning for Snooki: In the long run, your behavior is a one-way ticket to the Z-list. In the years after “Jersey Shore” runs its course, as it surely will, can “Celebrity Rehab” be far behind?

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That’s what happens to reality-show screw-ups. They bask in their newfound fame, prance for the paparazzi, get invited to red-carpet events, and appear on the covers of the nation’s biggest magazines. Then, just as suddenly as they shot to fame, the party ends, abruptly. Only the savviest among them survive and have careers after that initial shot of success – Bill Rancic from “The Apprentice,” for example, who now has a Style Network reality show with wife Giuliana DePandi, or Santino Rice and Austin Scarlett from “Project Runway,” who just premiered their new makeover show last week on Lifetime, and a bunch of others.

They kept their noses clean and became TV personalities who people could depend on. That’s how you nurture long-term success in the TV business – not by getting arrested for bumping drunkenly into people on a New Jersey boardwalk.

Businesspeople – the kinds of people who can produce TV shows for Snooki, help her write books, or invest in a Snooki line of clothing – are not going to want to go into business with the village idiot, which is what Snooki looks like today. Just read this description of Snooki’s behavior from the Saturday New York Post: “One witness said, ‘She was on her knees and kept falling on the beach. People were laughing and taking pictures of her before the cops arrested her’.”

Come on, Snooki – underneath it all, we know you’re a sweetheart. And we worry that all this newfound fame is going to your head, leading to all the wrong attention-getting behavior. Come on, Snooks, grow up!

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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