I have to keep gushing about this storyline, because, well, I like having something good to say about ‘General Hospital.’ If anyone ever cheats on me, I hope I have the strength of character to handle it as well as Robin Scorpio (Kimberly McCullough). Since Patrick confessed to cheating on her, she has been cold, rational and unwavering. She succinctly called out the other woman, Lisa (Brianna Brown) “You’re a home-wrecking whore. You’ve been trying to sleep with my husband ever since you came here, so good for you. You got what you wanted. But I am telling you right now if you ever come near my baby again, I swear I’ll kill you myself.” That’s the way it’s done.
Of course, Lisa, who is the newest member of the Annie Dutton Memorial “I Only Became Interesting After I Went Crazy” soap character club, marched straight to the police station and reported that Robin threatened to kill her. Clearly, she is embarking on a fiendish plot to make Robin look like the crazy one.
I was most pleased with the way that Robin is placing the blame where it belongs: on Patrick. She needs to keep Lisa in check because the woman already kidnapped her child (by blatantly ripping off ‘Fatal Attraction’ and taking her out for ice cream).
I hope we will also get to see Robin tear the nanny a new one for letting Lisa take the child without consulting with her or Patrick first. That was some serious incompetence, especially given Port Charles’s high concentration of criminals.
But Lisa never promised to love and honor Robin for the rest of her life. Patrick did. He seems to think that Robin just needs a few days to cool off. After being kicked out, he sauntered back into the house and was surprised to find his wife packing his bags — and she looked like she was folding his clothes very neatly. Robin: organized even in anger. She had the line of the month: “This is the way that I see it–cheating is just like abuse. If a man hits you once, he will do it again. And I refuse to be the clueless wife letting you cheat on me over and over again.”
In a town full of otherwise strong women who rationalize dating men who kill other people for a living, and men who are verbally abusive, a woman who draws a line in the sand at mistreatment is a true heroine. I actually think that there are more people who cheat once, realize it was a mistake, and repair their relationships than there are Tiger Woods’, but she had a point.
This storyline is so much better than an 80s movie rip off has any right to be. So I am lobbying for GH to let it be the end of episode cliffhanger. Lisa pretending that Robin trashed her locker was a much bigger tune-in-tomorrow moment then Sonny asking Dante to believe that this time he shot Johnny on self defense.
Road to Morocco
I have mixed feelings about the revelation that ‘One Life To Live’s‘ Clint (Jerry Ver Dorn), not Eli (Matt Walton) was behind David’s (Tuc Watkins) disappearance from his own wedding.
On one hand, the show gets major point for pulling off a surprise twist. Sure, it is awfully convenient that as Eli contemplated getting rid of David, Clint’s minions showed up to kidnap him– and managed to avoid being seen by anyone but Eli. But I’ll take that over Eli suddenly having an army at his disposal, as it appeared on Tuesday.
Was it in character for Clint to get back at David for driving his child bride Kim out of Llanview and hurt his old nemesis Dorian (Robin Strasser) while he was at it? Yes. Would he go to the length of bribing Moroccan prison officials to lock David up for 20 years, assuming such a thing is in fact possible? I don’t think so.
Clint can be vengeful. He wants to follow in Asa’s footsteps. But even when he was angry at his relatives, Asa would not have had any of them locked up in a foreign prison with no way of contacting the outside world. David is Clint’s nephew, as much as he hates to admit it. Buchanans will fight each other, steal one another’s women, and disinherit each other. But they do not leave each other to experience ‘Midnight Express.’
I know that this was just a device to get David out of town, and make Dorian give up on him, but the same thing could have been accomplished by them not reuniting in the first place. Seeing Dorian get humiliated was not all that entertaining, although I did enjoy Langston (Brittany Underwood) and Starr (Kristen Alderson) sleeping in the same bed as Dorian to comfort her afterward. The prison scenario was played semi-humorously, but kidnapping someone and depriving them of basic human rights is not funny.
Bury The Lead
So it took ‘Days of Our Lives‘ Rafe (Galen Gering) an entire episode to tell Sami (Alison Sweeney) that he had evidence that proved E.J.(James Scott) was behind baby Sydney’s kidnapping. Then he spent another episode playing a tape of Nicole saying she overheard E.J. and Stefano plotting. As Sami pointed out, Nicole is a known liar who hates both Sami and E.J., so there was no reason to believe her.
Then, Thursday, he finally played the footage he had of E.J. and Stefano. Way to bury the lead, dude. Rafe is totally the guy at the party who ruins a potentially interesting story because he has to tell you everything he ate for breakfast before he gets to the part where he saw Angelina Jolie rescuing a puppy from an evil robot.
Strangest Soap Related Promotion of the Week
Pity the unemployed soap star. Sometimes he has to take some strange gigs between guest-star spots on primetime procedurals. Take Austin Peck (ex-Brad ‘As The World Turns‘) who has signed on to be the spokesperson for Spot Shot carpet cleaner’s contest to find the “most dramatic” carpet stain. The ad, which features a cameo from ATWT’s Teri Colombino (Katie), is pretty funny. But I am totally grossed put by the association of soap operas and carpet stains. Every scenario I can think of either involves a bloody murder or illicit sex, or both. I guess the next time I need to cover up my involvement in a violent crime, I know which product to buy.