Deep Soap: GH’s Brenda Brings Out The Nice Guys and Mean Girls

Brenda Brings Out The Worst in Everyone

Brenda (Vanessa Marcil Giovinazzo) has finally made her way to Port Charles.  She is temporarily living with Jason, which means that she is also rooming with Spinelli.

This also means that we get more scenes of Spinelli objectifying women under the guise of worshipping them.  When is ‘General Hospital‘ going to realize that this is not endearing or sweet behavior?  It’s creepy.

Spinelli (Bradford Anderson), upon meeting Brenda, dubbed her The Divine One, the latest of his string of nicknames for women that date back to his infatuation with Lulu.  Yes, he also gives nicknames to male characters — and I would argue that he also has a crush on Jason (Steve Burton) who he has dubbed Stone Cold.   But the men are allowed to be annoyed by the behavior, while the women are invariably charmed or amused.  Here is Spinelli on Brenda, a woman whom, as Maxie pointed out, he has only known for five minutes. “I’ll be sharing my home with an angel, a shining light of patience, kindness, and generosity….She is, without a doubt… the most captivating woman on the planet. Her presence, her charisma, it was so much more powerful in person than anything that could be captured in a photograph. She…she is the epitome of womanliness in all its glory.”

The show wants us to think that Spinelli is a sweet guy whose eccentricities must be indulged.  Our heart is supposed to break for the poor guy who is destined to be seen as just a friend by all the women that he admires.  Never mind that he is engaging in classic passive aggressive “nice guy” behavior, pining away for them and putting them up on a pedestal without ever getting to know them as people then getting disappointed when they choose men who actually ask them out, call them by their real names, and listen when they talk.  While he thinks he lost Maxie because he was not handsome or exciting enough, it was really his constant neediness and lack of self-confidence that drove her away.  I would love it if Brenda snapped and told him to start acting like a grown man, but since this is Guza’s GH — and because he brought her biscotti, which admittedly was a nice thing to do — she thinks he is great.

I also don’t understand why every woman in Port Charles, even those who have never met her, is so upset about Brenda’s return to Port Charles.   Brenda had plenty of female friends in the past.  It was part of what made her character so appealing.  Unfortunately, in the GH of 2010, women can only be catty and mean toward each other. Carly’s (Laura Wright) hatred of Brenda is logical, given their history of sharing men, and her nagging fear that Sonny and Jax would choose Brenda over her.  However, Brenda has never been an issue in Sam and Jason’s relationship.  Sam (Kelly Monaco) is suddenly insecure even though she knows their marriage was a sham, that they’ve never slept together, and that Jason is not treating Brenda differently than anyone else that he has decided to protect.  The audience is aware that Sam is one of numerous characters that was brought in to be a substitute Brenda of sorts but Sam should not see herself that way.  Though it is hilariously meta that show is acknowledging that it has cast a series of petite brunettes who kind of, sort of, if you squint look a little like Brenda.

Even Maxie, who as an aspiring fashion editor ought to be doing every thing that she can to get into supermodel Brenda’s inner circle.  Not to mention that Brenda is Robin’s best friend, so Maxie ought to consider her almost family.  Instead, she is ready to hate her just because Spinelli has a crush on her.  Then again, Maxie convinced Sam that wearing a strapless cocktail dress in the middle of the day was the perfect way to handle her insecurities. Maybe she was just having a bad day.

However, the most cringe inducing moment of Friday’s episode goes to Sonny (Maurice Benard) and  the least interesting Brenda wanna-be, Claire (Shalia Salem).  Claire issued a written communication to Sonny to join the mile high club.

I understand why she did not want to say it out loud.  It’s Sonny.  That’s like an adult admitting she likes Justin Bieber songs.  The truly embarrassing part was  Sonny’s response: “How’d you get it to do that? ”  GH has already established that Sonny calls Spinelli every time he needs to do a Google search.  Now he has revealed that he does not understand typing or fonts.  How big of an idiot is Sonny supposed to be? I hope this is a running gag in the writers’ room because it’s quite funny.  Maybe next week Sonny will wonder how magnets work.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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