Although some might argue that former ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ Danielle Staub doesn’t need a Halloween costume to frighten the bejeezus out of candy-grubbing kiddies, she’s considering wearing one anyway — of Teresa Giudice!
“I was just going to take a waxing strip and put it on my forehead, with a little doll hair attached to it and call it Cornelius,” she tells UsMagazine.com. “Oh, is that catty of me to say?”
The Staub-Goblin was half-joking about actually going through with her idea, but she made the silly little wheels in our heads churn on a spine-tingling concept: Dressing up as your favorite Housewife for Halloween! [Cue howling wolf]
Whether you’re going to a big Halloween soiree, serving treats at your door, or if you just got the itch to torment someone, here are the must-have costume elements that’ll make you a convincing Housewife for the scariest time of year!
Here’s a list of some of our faves:
Kelly Bensimon ‘Scary Island’ Costume
You’ll need: A straitjacket over a slinky sundress, stilts (or 6-inch stilettos), long beach wave curls, an open package of gummy bears, and a snarl on your face with intermittent screams of “Satchels of gold!”
Danielle Staub Costume
You’ll need: A raven-haired weave (with a bald spot), a set of glue-on Spock eyebrows, water balloons for your chest, a set of slightly over-sized capped teeth, a shirt that says ‘Love and Light,’ a permanent scowl on your face, and a lesbian (maybe) lover at your side.
Ramona ‘Crazy-Eye’ Costume
You’ll need: A black bustier, small religious jewelry, a blond bouffant with a little side ponytail, enlarged frantic eyes, a stiff runway walk, and a couple of Red Bulls to keep the high energy going.
Teresa ‘Table-Flipping’ Giudice Costume
You’ll need: Orange liquid foundation, periwinkle blue eyeshadow, a big black curly wig that sits a couple inches above your eyebrows, a strapless black dress, a demonic scream with demonic eyes to boot, and of course, an accessible table to flip over and over again!
Jill ‘Forgive Me Bethenny’ Zarin Costume
You’ll need: A long deep red wig with blunt bangs, dark smoky eye makeup, a Long Island accent, water balloons for your chest, a box of Kleenex, a French manicure, and a plate of potato latkes.
Kim ‘Tardy for the Party’ Zolciak Costume
You’ll need: A blond wig (of course!), the best sexy tranny attire you got, greasy pink lip gloss, water balloons for your chest, a microphone, a boom box that’s playing ‘Tardy for the Party,’ and an urban swagger.
Michaele ‘Gate-Crashing’ Salahi Costume
You’ll need: A red bejeweled sari, a platinum blond flat-ironed wig, the loss of 100 lbs, a smoker’s voice, and a portly man in a tux.
We know you’ve got ideas, too! Which Housewife do you think it’d be fun to parody and what would the costume look like? Do tell!