Halloween Costume Guide: ‘Real Housewives’ Edition

'Real Housewives Of New Jersey' (Bravo)

'Real Housewives Of New Jersey' (Bravo)

Although some might argue that former ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey’ Danielle Staub doesn’t need a Halloween costume to frighten the bejeezus out of candy-grubbing kiddies, she’s considering wearing one anyway — of Teresa Giudice!

“I was just going to take a waxing strip and put it on my forehead, with a little doll hair attached to it and call it Cornelius,” she tells UsMagazine.com. “Oh, is that catty of me to say?”

The Staub-Goblin was half-joking about actually going through with her idea, but she made the silly little wheels in our heads churn on a spine-tingling concept: Dressing up as your favorite Housewife for Halloween! [Cue howling wolf]

Whether you’re going to a big Halloween soiree, serving treats at your door, or if you just got the itch to torment someone, here are the must-have costume elements that’ll make you a convincing Housewife for the scariest time of year!

Here’s a list of some of our faves:

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Kelly Bensimon ‘Scary Island’ Costume
You’ll need: A straitjacket over a slinky sundress, stilts (or 6-inch stilettos), long beach wave curls, an open package of gummy bears, and a snarl on your face with intermittent screams of “Satchels of gold!”

Danielle Staub Costume
You’ll need: A raven-haired weave (with a bald spot), a set of glue-on Spock eyebrows, water balloons for your chest, a set of slightly over-sized capped teeth, a shirt that says ‘Love and Light,’ a permanent scowl on your face, and a lesbian (maybe) lover at your side.

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Ramona ‘Crazy-Eye’ Costume
You’ll need: A black bustier, small religious jewelry, a blond bouffant with a little side ponytail, enlarged frantic eyes, a stiff runway walk, and a couple of Red Bulls to keep the high energy going.

Teresa ‘Table-Flipping’ Giudice Costume
You’ll need: Orange liquid foundation, periwinkle blue eyeshadow, a big black curly wig that sits a couple inches above your eyebrows, a strapless black dress, a demonic scream with demonic eyes to boot, and of course, an accessible table to flip over and over again!

Jill ‘Forgive Me Bethenny’ Zarin Costume
You’ll need: A long deep red wig with blunt bangs, dark smoky eye makeup, a Long Island accent, water balloons for your chest, a box of Kleenex, a French manicure, and a plate of potato latkes.

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Kim ‘Tardy for the Party’ Zolciak Costume
You’ll need: A blond wig (of course!), the best sexy tranny attire you got, greasy pink lip gloss, water balloons for your chest, a microphone, a boom box that’s playing ‘Tardy for the Party,’ and an urban swagger.

Michaele ‘Gate-Crashing’ Salahi Costume
You’ll need: A red bejeweled sari, a platinum blond flat-ironed wig, the loss of 100 lbs, a smoker’s voice, and a portly man in a tux.

We know you’ve got ideas, too! Which Housewife do you think it’d be fun to parody and what would the costume look like? Do tell!

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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