‘Jersey Shore’ Finale Recap: War And Peace Out, Miami!

Jersey Shore (MTV)

Jersey Shore (MTV)

Can you believe the second season of ‘Jersey Shore‘ is over and out, playas? The final episode sure went out with a bang with new fights started and old ones unresolved. We got to see the more sensitive and committed sides of Vinny and Pauly D when it came to their temporary gfs (Whaaat?!), and more of the insensitive ugly side of Mikey who’s topsy turvy emotions were as unstable as Sam and Ron’s juvenile freak fest.

Want to know what the final days in South Beach were like for the guidos and guidettes? Well, check the highlights…

Glade Runners
What better way to end the Miami experience than to take a trip out to the Everglades and flirt with death! Zinging through the emerald waters on an air boat, the gang jumps around like tripped out Hobbits when they see a croc a few yards away! The hungry croc, who mistakes them for a mass of Panda Express orange chicken, charges at the low-lying boat and tries to climb on board! Everyone screams and they zip to land, only to be greeted with biting bugs “the size of Snooki.”

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Karma Goes Ribbit
Famished as all get out, the crew dine on fried and battered frog legs at a local restaurant. The Situation gorges on them, while JWoww looks in horror and grasps her neck to keep her breakfast down. As she runs to the bathroom to face the upchuck, The Sitch follows and scares the silicone out of her with some sexy buttered amphibious legs in her face! Once they all hit the road, the Senior Citizen of the group starts feeling something jumpy and greasy in his rock-hard ab collection and eventually pukes on the side of the road. Karma’s a biatch.

Check Out A Deleted Scene From The Everglades Road Trip:

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It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday-ayyy
It’s couple’s time! Awwww! Vinny and Pauly D take their summer gfs out for one last romantic dinner, and out of respect, they don’t pump any pasties. On the other hand, what was supposed to be a fun, sweet night out on the town turns dark and emo for Ron and Sam, the latter turning serious and bringing up commitment issues, as per usual. As hard as it may be to imagine, the two get into a fight, but of course, make up and make out a few hours later.

The Situation in the Ladies Room
While everyone’s krumping the night away at a club called b.e.d., Vinny gets sandwiched on the dance floor by two semi-grenades who want to take him to bed! But he’s not feeling it, as his heart and family jewels are thinking about his taller princess. No worries, bro—Mike takes the two beasts in heat into an unmonitored bathroom stall and does dirty thangs with the dirty-looking gals. Safe to say, The Sneaky Sitch does #1 and #2, if you know what we mean.

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No More Games
Throughout the night of their final dinner, The Situation decides to rile up the gang by gossiping, lying, and insulting people because hey, too much estrogen in the system causes you to do so.

After their taco dinner, the crew play a ‘Most Likely’ game, and Mr. Trouble Maker starts poking at Vinny, saying he’s Most Likely to Be A Follower. To combat his meanness, JWoww says that an unnamed person thinks The Sitch is Most Likely to Be Fake. This hurts his feelings and right after the busty gal leaves for a ciggie break, he shoots back and says it’s JWoww who’s the fake one—take that, girlfriend!

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Little One Causes Big Trouble
Perhaps it was the hormones in the taco meat that caused Snooki to hallucinate when she snuck away to tell JWoww that everyone—specifically Pauly D and Vinny—nodded in agreement with Sitch that she was fake. Whatevs. The damage is done.

JWoww takes Sitch into a room and tells him Pauly D was the one who called him fake. Feeling violated and emotionally distraught, he runs over to the hot tub in his pigeon-toed way and demands answers from his BFF. Pauly D freaks out at the accusation as indicated by his voice falling two octaves lower. Scarrry.

Once JWoww and Snooks come out to join the angry crew, all hell breaks loose: JWoww jumps on Pauly D and Vinny for supposedly calling her fake, the two dudes freak out and deny it and start yelling at Snooki, and Snooki just about has a heart attack from fear of Pauly D’s roar!

Everyone huffs and puffs and then they all make up a few minutes later.

Goodbye, Miami!
After a huge breakfast (and a ‘roid shake for Ron), the gang say their goodbyes one-by-one and hug each other like they just finished summer camp…everyone except for Sammi and JWoww, of course.

Adios, Mi-ami!

Did you watch the season finale last night? Are you gonna miss your favorite GTL’ers?

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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