‘Survivor: Nicaragua’ Power Rankings – Haiku Edition

The Rules: Each week, “Survivor: Tocantins” and “Survivor: Heroes Vs. Villains” star Benjamin “Coach” Wade and XFINITY TV’s “Survivor” recapper Gordon Holmes will create separate power rankings. The ranking of the person who is voted out of the next episode will determine the number of points the two players will earn. For example, if Sash is voted out this week, Coach will receive 4 points and Gordon will receive 5 points. At the end of the season, the person or team with the most points will be named the “Survivor: Nicaragua” Power Rankings Challenge Champion.

Last Week: Team Dragon Slayer and Team Truth Seeker both had Alina in spot eleven. The current score is now Team Dragon Slayer 96, Team Truth Seeker 100.

This Week: Coach and Gordon are proving their worth as Renaissance men by attempting this week’s Power Rankings using haiku poetry. The traditional Japanese haiku form consists of one line of five syllables, a second line of seven syllables, and a third line of five syllables.

And before we start this week’s contest, let’s honor the most recent castaway…


Once again, just the Dragon Slayer. Me, myself, and I. The ode this week will also be in haiku.

Ode to Alina:
Never quite the catch,
Distant, controlling and odd,
All ties were severed.


Current Score: 96


Current Score: 100

brenda .. brenda

The wind blows her hair,
She bats her eyes without care,
Align if you dare.


Her friends have idols,
Chase is around her finger,
Future millionaire?

chase . kellys

Strong, sturdy, and sweet,
But insecure if we meet,
Too much a good thing.


If Kelly Shinn talks,
And editors don’t play it,
Does it make a sound?

fabio . dan

Cunning but seeming,
Not too bright but mind preening,
Instincts are dreaming.


Oh, immobile Dan,
He’s as safe as he is slow,
Not a threat at all.

sash . benry

Arrogant whippet,
Making moves like a snippet,
Chuckerish puppet.


Benry’s term “Dirt squirrel,”
Is not very flattering.
Women should be mad.

kellys . sash

Starting to emerge,
From the hidden waves of sand,
Sweet so tribe won’t purge.


Move for Marty’s vote,
Will not make Brenda happy.
No cash for poor Sash?

jane . naonka

Big eyes and wide face,
But catching fish with poised grace,
Not much more timed space.


Sash is a bright guy,
Flour thieves don’t win jury votes,
Enjoy final three.

naonka . chase

No rose colored glasses here,
True colors shine through?


Big physical threat,
Puts a target on your back.
Nice guys finish last.

holly . fabio

Bold moves once you merged,
Begin to fade as heads roll,
Sense of fun replaces droll.


Too funny, too nice,
Immunity and vote threat.
They are watching you.

dan . holly

Out of comfort zone,
Must be strong and lying low,
Strike out a low blow.


If Marty goes next,
And the kids destruct after,
You could cruise a while.

benry . jane

Too much a good thing,
Charm and strength you always bring,
Time will end too soon.


Vote with Alina,
Probably not a big deal,
But not a smart move.

marty . marty

Cunning like a fox,
Duck and weave it’s time to box,
Time runs out on clock.


Sash kept his promise,
Keeping you for two more shows,
Now Jane will laugh last.


Quick Note: Follow Gordon on Twitter for breaking “Survivor” news and updates.

What Do You Think: Who’s going to win this round; Team Dragon Slayer or Team Truth Seeker? Does Marty have a chance of surviving? Can you give your thoughts in haiku form?

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

, , , ,

Comments are closed.