Miami was so last year, peeps. It’s back to the Motherland—Seaside Heights, NJ, baby! Thursday night MTV brings us an all-new third season of the ‘Jersey Shore‘ (10/9c), and this time, the dysfunctional family is getting a new va-jay-jay-revealing guidette in the house: 23-year-old Deena Nicole Cortese (a.k.a. Snooki’s Twin Meatball BFF)!
But even with the new girl added into the mix, old tensions heat up like mad quick! While the group collectively applauds Angelina’s no-show, a more silent Ewww is felt with the return of erratic love larvae, Sammi and Ron.
Before you see the snap, crackle, and pops to the face unfold (and they happen sooner than you think), we thought we’d kick things off with some quotes from the premiere that’ll help you get in that GTL mood:
“When Ron gets drunk, he’s single.” – Snooki
“I can smell the fake tans and the hair gel already.” – Ron arriving at the Jersey Shore
“I’m just really, really excited to like, be back at Seaside—this is like Gorilla Juice-head Guido Heaven!” – Snooki
“It’s supposedly 80% lean, 20% fat—that’s how I like my women.” – Vinny referring to his burgers on the grill
“She looks like a gremlin.” – Ron on Deena
“I call my vibrator The Elmo because Tickle Me Elmo, you know what I mean?” – Snooki comparing vibrators with Deena
“I love to have a good time; I’m single-ready-to-mingle, and I’m just like a walking holiday.” – Deena
“If Deena was a holiday she’d definitely be Thanksgiving cuz she’s got a lot to give and down for a lot of stuffing.” – The Situation
“You’re gonna hook up with grenades, but you can’t make out with me—are you serious?” – Snooki talking on camera about Vinny
“Cowboy hat is probably another term for Deena’s ‘kooh-kah.’” – Pauly D
“Deena kind of reminded me of a dirty chihuahua, just barking, and you just kinda want to smack it to the side.” – Sammi
“You don’t want to piss off Deena like that because even though we’re tiny b-tches—I don’t give a sh-t—I will attack you like a squirrel monkey.” – Snooki on Sammi
Watch the Season 3 Sneak Peek: