‘Jersey Shore’: Deciphering the Origins of Snooki’s Arrest

Snooki's July 30, 2010 arrest (Bobby Bank/Getty Images)

Snooki's July 30, 2010 arrest (Bobby Bank/Getty Images)

It wasn’t your typical day at Seaside, home slices. Last night’s “Jersey Shore” took off in two different directions: First, the epic apology that we weren’t sure we’d be alive to see actually happened (although the JWoww factor was missing), and second, a wasted burnt hamster got arrested for disorderly conduct at the beach…

After having enraged Roid Ron for accusing him of cheating (because he stepped out for a few seconds without her), a paranoid and delusional Sam tries to shake off her mental illnesses, even if just for a day. While working at the T-shirt shop, she brings Snooki to the back and apologizes for her inexplicable whacked out behavior in Miami.

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“I owe you an apology, and I’m sorry for cutting our friendship completely. I’m so wrong; you were so right the whole time,” says a regretful Sam. Being the forgiving squirrel monkey that she is, Snooks embraces her while calling her a wh-re. Later the Little One tells JWoww that she, Deena, and Sam have kissed and made up. JWoww does an equivalent of a man burp to show her level of excitement at these new developments.

As for Snook’ems, who decides to go on a 24-hour binge, we have a theory: We believe she’s trying to Patron her sorrows away because Vinny won’t allow her to take advantage of his “Sea Biscuit.”

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Slurring and swaying about, Snooki runs to the beach after work with her bedtime monster slippers on and tumbles onto the hot sand. JWoww and Deena run after her to get her back to the house, but it’s too late: A crowd gathers around the half-comatose, half-belligerent Italian Meatball and with that, the cops take notice.

Escorting her off the beach, the cops tell her to chillax—or else. Snooki decides to explore the latter and proceeds to toss out F-bombs and more verbal no-no’s to the Po Po. Out come the handcuffs! Sucka is under arrest for disorderly conduct!

“I’m a f-cking good person!” she howls as her ginormous Gucci shades slides to the tip of her nose and she’s pushed into the back seat of the cop car. “You boys are no fun.”

Dang, Vin, why couldn’t you just let her play with Sea Biscuit?

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.


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