GH’s Marital Bliss
Okay, “General Hospital“, you got me. Three days into Sonny (Maurice Benard) and Brenda’s (Vanessa Marcil Giovinazzo) wedding and I am hooked. The writers threw in everything but the kitchen sink: confessions, threats, heartfelt speeches, an evil lair inside a cave. It’s ludicrous and over the top, but it is damn entertaining. Brenda has a beautiful but unusual wedding dress that is a reflection of her personal style. Apparently, when attempting to marry the man who previously left you at the altar, a 75% white, 25% pink dress is appropriate. I also got to party like it was 1999 with an actual sweet character-based scene of Robin and Brenda talking about men.
If a soap is going to indulge in all the soap cliches, I say the bigger the better. So Carly’s (Laura Wright) attempt to blackmail Brenda into leaving town was all the sweeter because she was wearing a dress that appeared to be stolen from a “Star Search” spokesmodel contestant circa 1988. The line, “How long do you think Sonny will love you when he finds out you made him a grandfather?” is tailor made for a Clip of the Week on “The Soup“. But it’s awesome. Apparently being accused of falling for someone old enough to be a grandfather is all it took for Brenda to shake off the cobwebs of the last six months and get her personality and backbone back. Brenda: “Did you sleep with your mother’s husband? And lie about who Michael’s father was to about a million different men?” Why, yes, yes you did, Carly. I cheered, in large part because the show was acknowledging the existence of Bobbie Spencer. Maybe we’ll actually get to see her someday soon.
I loved Brenda objecting to her own wedding then telling Sonny and everyone else the truth: that she miscarried a child with Balkan Jr. after getting Dante (Dominic Zamprogna) to claim paternity — and she made sure to call out Carly for ruining the wedding with her irrational vendetta. It was like she’d been watching “One Life to Live” and decided that she was going to handle her business instead of letting someone else torpedo her future like Natalie did.
Take A Behind-The-Scenes Look At The Making Of Brenda & Sonny’s Wedding:
It turns out that there is one constant on GH, as sure as death and taxes: Sonny being an ass. Brenda actually said that Sonny deserved better than her. He, killer and minor league crimelord (thanks Balkan), did not disagree. He magnanimously decided to forgive Brenda. Wait, what? I’m not sure quite what her sins were here. Having an (alleged) miscarriage? Not immediately informing Sonny that his long lost son helped her bury a body during the nine years that she had absolutely no contact with him? She didn’t have an affair with Dante. They didn’t have a child together. It had nothing to do with why the Balkan was after her, since he didn’t even know she was pregnant. If Sonny expected Brenda to detail every single thing that happened to her while they were apart, I hope he did the same. Did Sonny tell Brenda that he and Claire joined the mile high club? Or about his disgusting romance with Emily? Or — I shudder to mention the name — Reese? Somehow, I doubt it. However, even my Sonny hating heart melted when he told her that this time he wasn’t going to leave her standing in the rain and he still wanted to marry her. This time, they actually made it through the wedding vows. They really and truly are married. Sonny is the polar opposite of my dream man, but he’s Brenda’s. The two of them are made for each other, even if there is going to be a lot more “worse” than “better” in their future.
GH also made it crystal clear that Suzanne (Adrienne Barbeau) is double crossing her husband and has her grandchild stashed somewhere for safekeeping. Her story of hearing about Brenda’s miscarriage after the fact does not match Brenda’s story of Suzanne telling her that the baby died. Given the way this story is going, I hope the child is literally being raised by wolves somewhere in Alaska.
The Balkan Problem
The Balkan (Daniel Benzali) has been a dull villain so far. He has proved neither scary nor sexy nor logical. So turning the camp factor up to 11 with the revelation that he has an office in a cave complete with a bumbling butler worked as a Hail Mary attempt to salvage the storyline. I admit I chortled when the butler admonished him, “What did I tell you about wearing your good coat in the cave?” Where the hell is this cave? When was it built? Why was it built? How many James Bond movies did headwriter Bob Guza watch while he was drunk? Oh, who cares. The show decided to go old-school Cassadine with this story. Maybe, in a clever twist on the Cassadines attempt to freeze the world with a weather machine, the Balkan will turn out to be responsible for global warming.