‘Celebrity Apprentice’: You Snooze, You Lose, Dionne!

Dione Warwick on The Celebrity Apprentice (NBC)

Dionne Warwick on The Celebrity Apprentice (NBC)

There’s one less diva in Trump Tower.

After a month of bickering with her teammates, crotchety music legend Dionne Warwick finally got the hook on last night’s “Celebrity Apprentice.”  Or did she quit?  Well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves…

Week four of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Crazy Camp began with the women coming off their second straight loss.  So, naturally, it’s NeNe Leakes to the rescue.

“We felt really down,” she said.  “Sort of like, gosh, can we really do this?  Are we all dumb?  So I just felt it was time for me to step up and be project manager.”

‘Lil Jon volunteered to lead the charge for the men.

The teams were asked to create a 30 second television commercial using this week’s product du jour, the ACN video phone.

The women (Team ASAP) agree their spot will show a teenage girl calling home from her semester abroad in Paris.  Marlee Matlin plays her mom, who uses sign language to communicate “I love you” during the call.  How can they possibly mess this one up?

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But predictably, things start to crumble quickly as LaToya Jackson discovers she can’t see.  Wait…what?  She blames her temporary vision problems on a recent Lasik surgery.

Then, during the editing process, Dionne decides she isn’t needed and asks NeNe if she can go home for a nap.  NeNe agrees (but mostly because she is scared to death of the raspy voiced singer).

Things go much better for the men.  Even Gary and Meat Loaf seemed to be getting along.  Their commercial – which features a guy who calls home from Argentina to introduce his parents to his gay fiancé – goes off without a hitch.

In the Boardroom – which made the Iran Contra hearings seem brief — Trump says the clients loved both spots and their decision came down to just a few votes.

NeNe begins to cry.  Does she somehow see the train steamrolling right at her?  Is she now psychic like Dionne?

The men emerge victorious.  Again.  ‘Lil Jon gets $20,000 for his charity (The United Methodist Children’s Home) and it is time for Trump to trim some dead weight from Team ASAP.

After the men are gone, Star Jones throws the opening punch:  “There is no question that Hope and LaToya have been more followers than leaders,” she says.

How Marlee Matlin Helped Gary Busey Hear Again

Marlee agrees and says it is LaToya who can’t carry her weight.

But NeNe, still scorned and now embarrassed about Dionne’s early departure, insists the team would do better without its oldest member.  “I really think these women are scared of Dionne,” she says.

After an informal poll of the rest of the team, Trump asks the singer who she would fire.

“I am going to take the opinion of everyone else,” she says.  “I would fire me.

“Apparently I seem to be the one that…may be a bit intimidating.  And if that is the way they feel, I don’t want to be the cog in the wheel that stops it.”

Trump is not happy.  This is his show, damn it! He will decide who stays and goes.  So he essentially convinces her not to quit. And Dionne takes the bait.

“I would love to stay because I think I have a lot to offer,” she says.  “I am a team player.  I left the editing bay because I didn’t think I was needed there.”

“By quitting it seems to me that you don’t think you can go forward,” Trump says, as if to confuse her 70 year-old brain.

But wait, she is not quitting anymore, Dionne reminds him.  “I don’t want to go.”

“It’s too late,” he says.  “You did the wrong thing.  Dionne, you’re fired.”

And they all lived happily ever after.

(Until next week.)

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