Kendra on Why She Almost Walked Off ‘DWTS’

Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel (Photo: ABC)

Kendra Wilkinson and Louis Van Amstel (Photo: ABC)

It was a rough week for Kendra Wilkinson on “Dancing with the Stars” – so rough she said she almost walked off the stage during her Quick Step last night.

But the tough time didn’t come from the judges, who thought she improved, or from her score, which was one point better than last week. It came from her own personal fears and insecurities.

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As we saw in Monday night’s rehearsal footage, the E! reality star and former Playboy model was in tears during practice over her struggle to be a lady and not the tomboy she feels she is. She cried, “Everyone thinks I’m this Playboy sexy girl that’s confident, I’m not that…. I feel like a boy.”

After Monday’s performance, Kendra told that the pressure is getting to her.

“We were picked to win before we even danced and I hate it,” Kendra told us. “I’m not perfect. That’s who I am on my show. I’m the girl who makes mistakes, and this is just so much pressure – and pressure to be a lady all in a couple days. It’s emotional, and I got emotional.”

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The “DWTS” star opened up about that and more in our post-performance chat:

18’s and 19’s are good and the fans are enjoying you. Are you just being too hard on yourself?
Kendra: Everyone goes through their stages inside. What you see on the outside isn’t what the person is going through on the inside.
Louis: What I find beautiful in this situation is that so many people go through this. People think oh there’s the shell and there’s all that, but deep inside there’s so much more and you can even say sometimes struggle. And the package showed all that. I thought it was brilliant because in the end from now on it can only get better.

You were up one point this week at least. Does that make you a little happy?
Kendra: Yeah, but I’m a competitor and I want to win.

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Are you nervous about the first elimination?
Kendra: I will never get over my nerves, that’s just the way it’s going to be. I just have to do what Hines Ward did tonight. He is as nervous as I am, but he turned it into something very positive and I did too but now I just need to be perfect.

There seems to be a lot of love for you out there in that audience.
Kendra: Let me tell you one thing, there was one point I just wanted to stop and run off the stage tonight And the crowd just got so into it they just kept me going and going and going. Thank God for the crowd. Thank God for the fans because they kept me going tonight.

What moment in the dance was that?
Kendra: Oh, no, no. I don’t want to tell you. But thank you for not noticing.

Are you having any fun?
Kendra: When I’m on the stage I turn it around and I have fun, but it’s one way or another for me. If I take it seriously, I can do it so perfect. But if I have fun there’s going to be a step I miss because that’s who I am.
Louis: It’s healthy and it’s human.

Watch Monday Night’s Episode of “DWTS” on

Do you regret doing the show?
Kendra: No. This is dance two and I have room to grow. I feel like I have what it takes, but I need to break out of my shell and really give the fans what who Kendra is. Tonight was about Wendy Williams’ personality and I need to do the same thing. I need to show more of me. I have more. I have more of me that I can show.

Is it hard being away from baby Hank to rehearse and do the show?
Kendra: No, it’s not hard. It’s what a working mom does. It’s the same exact thing that every working mom goes through. I get to see my son a lot more. My son sleeps three hours of the day. I’m gone for three hours of the day. I’m there for two of the three meals of the day. We barely even need a babysitter, though the babysitter is there tonight but that’s it.

Good luck and I’m sure we’ll see you next week.
Kendra: I hope so!

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