‘DWTS’ Battle in the Ballroom: It’s the Dance Off!

'Dancing with the Stars' (Photo: ABC)

'Dancing with the Stars' (Photo: ABC)

When it comes to dance shows, no two words delight me – and most viewers- more than these two: Dance Off. That’s right, Week 7 of Season 12 of “Dancing with the Stars” had the final six contestants split into two teams for a Cha Cha Cha dance off.

Team Hines featured Hines Ward, Kirstie Alley, and Kendra Wilkinson, and Team Chelsea had Chelsea Kane, Ralph Macchio, and Romeo. The team captions were picked for having the top overall scores all season. And, poor Romeo had the embarrassing fate of being picked last.

Watch Part 1 of Monday’s Dance-Off Episode:

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It was also “Ballroom Greats” week with special guest judge, Donnie Burns, the head of the World Dance Council and the most decorated Latin ballroom champion e-v-e-r (a.k.a. “The Ballroom Bomb,” according to Karina Smirnoff), and Mark Ballas’s mom Shirley Ballas, a retired ballroom champion, on to lend a dancing hand.

Quote of the night: “We don’t want to get beat by a bunch of old parents,” said Chelsie Hightower during her team dance rehearsal. Dancing to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way,” Ralph Macchio stood out by bringing some seriously sexy moves to the dance floor…finally. Mark Ballas tried to outdo him with several crude pelvic thrusts, but in the end, everyone was in awe of Ralph’s naughty side. “Ga Ga Cha Cha Cha!” said Bruno Tonioli. Carrie Ann Inaba said, “Ralph, I’m really impressed. This is the young and edgy group and you held your own!” Team Chelsea scored two 8s and two 7s for a score of 30 out of 40.

As for Team Hines, they got off to a bad start with Kirstie and Maks showed up to their first group rehearsal without a solo planned. Blame it on Maks. More important to that package, was Kendra’s flatulence. If she hadn’t waved away the smell, no one would’ve known. So, we gotta ask: Why Kendra? Why? Seriously?! First she talks about her time of the month and now this? Come on.

Watch Part 2 of Monday’s Performance Show:

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As for their dance to a Ke$ha song, Kendra brought the shimmy we all loved last week to the ballroom once again. Kirstie looked even slimmer than last week. A lot slimmer. And Hines did what Hines does: remained consistently awesome. The four judges also gave this team 30 points out of 40. “In the solo you were on fire,” said Carrie Ann to Kirstie.

Awkward moment of the show: Guest judge Donnie made some “Osama bin Dancing” joke. Then leave it to Len Goodman to once again bring up boobs (come on now, dirty ol’ man, this is a family show) when he said, “I know which team of girls won the booby prize,” and then directed his creepiness to Kendra again by saying, “You were shaken and I was stirred.”

Here’s how their individual dances played out…

Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas: Paso Doble
Could this light and breezy Disney star muster up the aggression and seriousness that a Paso warrants? Eh, not really. To get her to stop smiling was a tough task for Mark’s mom Shirley Ballas in rehearsal. Chelsea was scared, very scared, but still smiled and laughed through it all. Once show time hit, she showed her fierce side (and a lot of angry teeth). Oh, and yes, that was Pia Toscano was in the audience. Len said, “It was too much aggression. It was too much in my face.” Bruno said she danced “with almost violent intensity” and compared her to Quentin Tarantino. Carrie Ann said, “Pushing the boundaries, pushed them wide open, great job.” Donnie said it was a little bit confused and then compared her to a Hells’ Angels biker chick.
Score: 34

Kendra Wilkinson and Louis van Amstel: Tango
She said it was the hardest dance for her so far and that her confidence was low again, but that didn’t show once Kendra hit that dance floor. With her Tango game face on, she lost the giggles and the nerves and was “in the zone,” as Tom said. “You never looked more eloquent and ladylike and still sexy,” said Bruno. Carrie Ann said she was proud of her sophistication. Donnie said, “You did a bloody good job.” Lastly Len said, “I would’ve like it a tad more crisp throughout the dance.”
Score: 31

Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Jive
It was bound to happen: Maks pushes Kirstie too far, making her scream, “I need a break” and toss a tree across the room. Okay, that part was done mostly in jest, but still, she eventually broke down in tears. Unfortunately, her outfit was distracting (black leggings under a hue purple tu-tu?) and her Jive seemed a tad bit s-l-o-w. “It wasn’t quite enough of a Jive,” said Carrie Ann, noting they were out of sync. Donnie liked it, though. Len liked that it was playful and high energy and well acted. But he was disappointed in the Jive-ness of it all. Maks frowned. Bruno thought the entertainment aspect was superb and then made a sexual joke about not wanting it, then giving it big time. Hello, family show anyone? The scores were the craziest range ever with a 6, 7, 8, and 9. Backstage peeps screamed, “WHAT?” when Donnie threw out the 9. Shocking.
Score: 30

Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff: Quick Step
Ralph described the Quick Step as “ow, ow, ow, ow, bend!” thanks to his knee pain. Comparing the dance to a torture chamber, the karate Kid’s knees held up quite nicely when it counted, however. “You two rocked,” said Donnie. Len liked the energy, movement, and footwork. “it was more than a Quick Step … it was how to grab a quick one at the speak easy,” said Bruno. Carrie Ann said, “Booyah! You’re back!”
Score: 36

Hines Ward and Kym Johnson: Tango
Mad love was the theme of this Tango and the “Silent Assassin” – as he’s been dubbed – was able to keep that big smile of his at bay and deliver yet another consistently solid performance. Len said it was a bit dainty for him. Bruno said, “Big, strong, masterful, determined … slinky, smooth, stealthy action of a hunter on the prowl.” Carrie Ann like how he commanded the dance. Donnie said he danced from his heart but uses his head. Bruno gave him his first 10 of the season.
Score: 36

Romeo and Chelsie Hightower: Samba
He was picked last for the team dances and then danced last for individual numbers. So did they really save the best for last? Well, he did throw a samba party in his pants (and his shoe) as he promised, but it might have been the wrong kind of party, according to the judges. “Oh, Romeo yes you can definitely get down and shake it,” said Bruno, who liked how he raised the heat. Carrie Ann said there was a lot of bounce going on, but said it was the wrong kind of bounce and that he needs to work on technique. Donnie said, “You might have a party in your pants but you have an earthquake in your shoes.” Len didn’t like it much either, saying that hottest thing about the dance was the fire onstage.
Score: 30

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