This week’s “Toddlers and Tiaras” featured competing siblings, girls going “glitz” for the first time and parents just saying no to flippers.
Lori, of Chillicothe, Ohio, is mom to both eight-year-old girl Alaska and five-year-old boy Braxton and, although she called them both “pageant royalty,” she made no secret over who her odds-on favorite was. “We’ll see how she does and hopefully she accepts defeat, or failure, with a smile on her face,” Lori said of her daughter.
“I think my little boy, if I dressed him up like a girl, would wipe out the competition and win,” Lori said with an odd amount of pride. She also confessed that because he’s mixed race, she worried how his hair would turn out when he was in utero. Now, his straight brown hair is the pride of the whole family, including dad Jay, who oversees all of his haircuts. “His hair is important to me because it’s one of his main features, aside from his facial beauty,” Jay said.
Lori bleaches both kids’ teeth once a week, whether they’re competing or not, but even she thinks “flippers” (fake teeth) are weird, “because you’re literally altering what God gave you.”
Her irony meter must have been broken as she then pushed Alaska into getting her blonde eyelashes dyed. (Although Lori was sharp enough to note the humor in keeping the teeth bleach next to her copy of “The 7 Worst Things Parents Do”.)
The siblings, along with Olivia, 7, from Junction City, Ohio and Caylee, 5, from Carlisle, IN. were all competing in the glitz Cars and Stars Mini-National in Indianapolis.
It was the first glitz pageant for Olivia, who has been competing in pageants since she was one-year-old and, her mom Dawn said, has won titles in 42 of 45 of them. Still, Dawn had to be bullied by know-it-all hair dresser Debbie, who was aghast that Dawn was reluctant to take Olivia “full glitz.”
“If you can’t run with the big dogs, then stay on the porch,” Debbie said, whipping out a turquoise sequined tutu dress for Olivia that she just happened to have on hand.
Olivia, who lives on a farm, told us about her horses, chickens and pigs, mentioning that they butcher the pigs. “Sometimes it makes me sad when I lose my pig, but it makes me a little bit happier when they taste good,” Olivia reasoned.
Caylee’s mom Jaime was also worried about pushing her daughter too far into glitz (don’t they watch this show?!). When Caylee didn’t want to get her eyebrows waxed, Jaime said fine.
At the pageant, Lori was pleased with Alaska’s make-up. “The girl did a great job on her makeup. It’s tasteful, yet dramatic and she doesn’t look like a hooker,” Lori said.
Later, Lori had a mini-meltdown when Alaska’s hair wasn’t “big and dramatic” enough. Alaska made fun of her mom’s “huffin’ and puffin’” and cheerfully told her, “You are one of the crazy moms.”
Olivia’s borrowed dress served her well, as she came out on top to win Grand Supreme.
Of the siblings, much to the surprise of the whole family, it was Alaska who placed the highest, tying for “Mini Supreme” (second place) as Braxton took home the lesser, but more creepily-named Centerfold Supreme (second runner-up).
“We were thinking going into the pageant that Braxton would probably get a higher title than Alaska and in fact it totally got reversed, so that was a big shock,” said Lori, who did manage to be happy for her daughter somewhere in there.
Alaska had bought the hype as well. “I never imagined that I would do better than Braxton at all,” she said, after bursting into tears of joy on stage.
And Jay, seeing his son’s disinterest in the proceedings, announced that Braxton’s pageant days were probably numbered.
Jamie also enjoyed seeing her daughter Caylee do well in her first glitz pageant, but wasn’t sure they’d continue. “I’m not going to put a flipper in my daughter’s mouth, I’m not going to (have her) wear a two-piece outfit, and it seems to me maybe that’s what they need to win the higher titles,” she said.