Last night on the “Real Housewives of NYC,” there was nothing chic about the fallout from the making of LuAnn’s “Chic C’est La Vie” music video. Considering Kelly and Jill were the only two nutty souls who agreed to lollygag around in Atlantic City with Cruella DeVil, the episode essentially should’ve been called “Crapping on the Countess,” thanks to Ramotional and Supermodel McCord.
Could their verbal scourge be a testament to the powerful forces of karma, considering LuAnn’s bullying adventure in Morocco? Read on, girlfriends, read on…
Burning Off Steam
Ramona and Sonja trollop to the gym to work off their chunka monkas while re-visiting their favorite pastimes: 1) disingenuously praising each other ad nauseum until they develop more lip lines and 2) talking smack about one of the gals—this time the victim being LuAnn and her classy new music video.
“She was kind of provocative on the bed with all those men around her,” Ramona says, referring to LuAnn’s original tranny-loving “Money Can’t Buy You Class” oeuvre. After telling Sonja that she thinks Miss Lulu is a latchkey-kid supporting “weekend mom,” she confides she just can’t imagine participating in her music porno video because it would set a bad example for daughter Avery.
“Kids talk and doing a video, that’s forever, that’s gonna be out there on the Internet forever,” the Ramona Coaster warns. (Never mind Turtle Dance, Pinot Polarity, Crazy Eyes, massaging the man boobs and toe jam of her half-naked hubby…and well, being on a reality show.)
If you haven’t yet read Ramona and The Countess duke it out with each other on their Bravo blogs, here’s a more vicious sampling of their beef with one another:
The other substantial attack on Her Royal Highness is made from none other than Alex and her wife Simonette….
With Simon’s bro and Aussie friend acting as stone props in the background, Simon prompts Alex to get the grill aflaming for his favorite edible undertaking: devouring weiners. While they sit around the witch cauldron, the odd couple gossips about the She-Man’s incessant need to throw around the C-word (i.e. class, not that other C-word) and Alex’s decision not to partake in her silly musical shenanigans.
“If she were doing a gangsta rap, or a ballad about love, or singing show tunes, I would be there…I [just] don’t like the message [of the video],” Miss Vampire Teeth says, along with more priceless verbal smackdowns.
She adds: “I have a problem with her condescending air of teaching the little people how to behave when she doesn’t know how to behave herself.”
And another: “It just bothers me when people act like such wannabes…Number one, you don’t go around throwing your title around—and it’s not even something that’s from her family.” (We casually learn that, like true royalty, Alex came from an inbred family that owned three homes and made its riches from the oil fields of Kansas.)
And here’s one more fiery slam for old time’s sake: “I don’t think she’s ever gotten the memo that to use the word (“class”) is to prove it doesn’t apply to you.” BAM! Alex, cool down, girl, you are making it hot in herrr!!!
With none of the Housewives around to cut off or overpower the Brooklynite’s words of wisdom, the Supermodel finally has her vengeance! C’est bonn, c’est bonn!