Feeling the dog days of summer yet? Well, get ready for your brain to fry, your bottoms to sweat, and your eyeballs to ignite into flames 10 times over with not a two, but a three-hour premiere of the “Bachelor Pad” premiering on Monday, August 8!
Never mind that watching 120 minutes of half-naked frat and sorority-like contestants inhaling each other’s mouths and ridiculously competing for a $250K prize is already searing to the conscience—apparently, producers have created such a savage dynamic this second season, they think you’ll be willing to kill your soul just a little more.
So who are the players bringing on this additional hour of madness? They’re none other than Jakey ‘Fakey’ Pavelka, his ex-fiance Vienna ‘Muppet Face’ Girardi, and her new boy toy Kasey ‘Guard and Protect Your Heart’ Kahl. (As if you had to guess)!
In other “Bachelor Pad” familia news…
For those of you who were devastated at the exit of charming nerdman Ames Brown on Monday night’s “Bachelorette,” pull out those pocket protectors and cry no more: according to EW, the Harvard educated portfolio manager has been confirmed as the final contestant at the Pad! Thankfully for him, he’ll be with familiar company since former roomies William ‘Roast No More’ Holman and Blake ‘Crest White Strips’ Julian will also be swimming in Speedos next to him.
Watch Ames Say Goodbye On Last Night’s “Bachelorette”:
The three-hour premiere of “Bachelor Pad” airs Monday, August 8 on ABC at 8/9c.