‘AGT’ Act Crashes and Burns on Live TV

Everything that could go wrong, did — on live TV!

With 15 million sets of eyeballs looking on, Tim Fort – a/k/a The Kinetic King – watched in complete disbelief as his entire act fell apart at the seams last night on “America’s Got Talent.”

The 47 year-old self-proclaimed “geek” spent 36 hours setting up what was supposed to be a “world record” chain reaction illusion featuring thousands of hand-painted tongue depressors and other domino-like items.

But nothing worked.  When all was said and done, the red-faced Minnesotan could only speculate:  “The sticks must have warped from the humidity.”

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“I guess I have to be famous for something,” he said.  “(I’m) the biggest loser on ‘America’s Got Talent.’”

Acts faring better, and likely to advance to the next round include:

TEAM ILUMINATE: This troupe of professional dancers performs in complete darkness while wearing computerized light-up suits.  Their act blew judge Howie Mandel away. “By far, the best thing I have seen on this show,” he said.  “I think you can take this thing all the way.”  Poers Morgan agreed:  “Best act of the night.  Best act of the live shows.  Best new act in America.  That is a million dollar act.”

AVERY & THE CALICO HEARTS: They’ve been performing together since kindergarten – a whopping 5 years!  The Texas cuties performed Stevie Wonder’s “I Wish.”

FRANK MILES: What do you do after juggling 500,000 volt stun guns while standing in water?  How about setting off a chain reaction event that shoots an arrow through a jelly donut – on your own head!  Ok, so he missed the pastry by an inch, but as Howie points out, “he’s alive!”

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