‘True Blood’ Recap: Three’s Company

True Blood (HBO)

True Blood (HBO)

Last night’s “True Blood” episode “Let’s Get Out of Here” will always be remembered as the one where Sookie (Anna Paquin) dreamed she was having a threesome with Bill (Stephen Moyer) and Eric (Alexander Skarsgard). Strangely, the three of them were not among the many characters who got naked this week.

The episode began where the last one ended, with Alcide (Joe Manganiello) running through the woods carrying a bleeding, unconscious Sookie. Bill snatches her away, because all men long to rescue Sookie. He unsuccessfully attempts to get her to drink his blood. Bill laments to Alcide that there is nothing else they can do. Apparently, hospitals do not treat human/fairy hybrids who were shot with wooden bullets. Alcide, the world’s most wholesome werewolf, suggests they pray. Of course it works. Sookie drinks from Bill and wakes up. She immediately demand they look for Eric. Alcide, frustrated with her vampire obsession, leaves.  Bill goes too, because he has kingly duties. Sookie dreams Bill and the real, non-amnesiac Eric are fighting over which one she loves more. Dream Sookie proclaims she loves both of them and proposes a threesome. It starts out hot, then both men bite her on the neck. The most shocking aspect of the sequence is the lack of Alcide. What is wrong with Sookie’s subconscious?

Watch The Episode Below:


Alcide returns home and gratuitously takes off every stitch of his clothing before crawling into bed with Debbie (Brit Morgan). She pretends to be asleep, but her eyes are glowing wolfy green with anger because she can smell the Sookie on him. Debbie takes some V then pays Sookie a visit claiming she wants to help her. Sookie reads her mind and decides she is sincere.

Bloody, amnesiac Eric is with Antonia/Marnie (Fiona Shaw) and the rest of the witch posse. He tells her that he is hers. Tara (Rutina Wesley) is ready to get off Antonia’s crazy train. Antonia uses her powers to compel everyone to stay with her until the Festival of Tolerance. Her plan is to make America see how horrible vampires are, as opposed to the cute and cuddly witches.

Debbie arrives at Antonia’s shop claiming she is there to pledge allegiance while Sookie sneaks in and finds Eric. He tells her it’s his job to kill Bill. Tara points a gun at her. Sookie reads Tara’s mind, learning that Antonia is holding them all hostage, to charge her and find Bill. Sookie and Debbie flee. Antonia leaves for the festival. When Tara and the others try to leave, the door burns their hands.

Possessed Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis), carries Arlene’s (Carrie Preston) baby. He demands Hoyt (Jim Parrack) get out of the house, and point the gun at him. Hoyt calls Jason (Ryan Kwanten) for help. Ghost Lafayette hilariously says Andy (Chris Bauer) sounds white and less hilariously shoots at him and Jason. When Terry (Todd Lowe) arrives, Andy, who is on V, holds him down and won’t let him go inside. Terry thinks Andy is jealous because he has no life. Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) uses his powers to encourage Mavis the ghost to leave Lafayette’s body. Mavis relates the sad tale of how her baby’s father stabbed her and buried her under the tree. Mavis gives the baby back to Terry and Arlene. Jason and the rest of the Bon Temps Scooby Gang dig up the area near the tree and find the bones of both Mavis and the baby. Jesus casts a spell that makes her spirit leave Lafayette’s body. She, now holding the spirit of her baby, says goodbye and disappears. This is both a happy ending, and really cliched and trite.

Sam (Sam Trammell) decides to take Luna (Janina Gavankar) and her creepily affectionate daughter Emma camping to keep them away from her ex, wolf pack leader Marcus (Daniel Buran). Marcus comes to Merlotte’s looking for Sam and encounters Tommy (Marshall Allman). Marcus wants Sam to meet him that night — or else. Marcus has a very middle school way of solving his problems. On the camping trip, Sam shifts into a bunny so Emma can pet a rabbit. Their relationship is growing more inappropriate by the second. Marcus wants Alcide to be his back up when he talks to Sam. Tommy shifts into Sam and shows up at Marcus’s shop. He claims he has never slept with Luna, but Sam’s brother did. The wolves kick his butt while Sam and Luna actually have sex in their tent. When a weak, bloody Tommy shifts back into his own skin, the wolves are ready to kill him to cover their tracks, but Saint Alcide carries him away.

When Jason, at Hoyt’s request, brings Jessica’s stuff back to her, they end up having sex in the back of his pick up truck. Classy! Why does everyone on this show like to have sex outside?

The Festival of Tolerance consists of Bill, Nan (Jessica Tuck) and a human with a vampire sister making speeches to a room full of humans about how nice vampires are. Antonia casts a spell on the vampire sheriffs, putting them in her thrall. Sookie arrives as Manchurian Candidate Eric prepares to attack Bill. Sookie yells at him from the audience as, thanks to Antonia, the vampire sheriffs throw a bunch of disemboweled humans to the ground. Antonia is a master of negative publicity! Sookie tells Eric to run as the screen fades to black.


“There are times, I’ll admit, when it’s occurred to me that maybe I should put my career on hold and become a maker. But these last several hours here with you, have erased those doubts forever.” Nan, after listening to Jessica whine about her love life.

“Blame the witches. America’s had no trouble doing it in the past.” – Bill, to Nan.

“Since you’re about six-six and wider than a door, he might be more inclined to listen to me when you stand behind me.” – Marcus states the obvious to Alcide.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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