The Nineteen Year-Old-Virgin
The city of Los Angeles is in shock. There is a young woman who lives within the Thirty Mile Zone who has decided to wait until she is married to have sex. TMZ photographers are currently camped out on her lawn, determined to get a photo of the nineteen year old virgin. It is the most shocking thing that has ever happened in this modern day Sodom and Gemorrah. I am only slightly exaggerating. Everyone on “The Bold & the Beautiful” is completely obsessed with Hope’s (Kim Matula) virginity.
After Hope accepted Liam’s (Scott Clifton) marriage proposal — which, let’s be honest, happened in part because Liam was getting tired of taking cold showers — she immediately ran home to pack an overnight back before spending her first night with Liam. That was weird enough. I’m sure Liam has a spare toothbrush. I guess Hope wanted to avoid doing the walk of shame next morning. Although, given that she lives with Brooke (Katherine Kelly Lang), it would be more like a victory lap.
Hope then decided to tell her mother that she was heading off to lose her virginity. I believe that is the actual dictionary definition of oversharing. It’s great for mothers to make sure their daughters are informed about birth control and STDs. Preparing for the actual event together crosses the line into creepy. Brooke obviously disagrees with me, since she seemed to have a “My Daughter’s First Sexual Encounter” kit ready for the occasion. It was gross enough that she handed Hope an 80s style teddy, garter belt, massage oil and a make-up gun pre-set to whore. Announcing that she designed the lingerie herself took it into the Electra Complex zone.
I could understand why Hope, after dutifully conning the Brooke costume, freaked out about consummating the relationship. She did look ridiculous and unlike herself. However, I could also understand why Liam was frustrated when she shut him down after doing her best imitation of a Cinemax starlet, especially since she decided that she wanted to wait until they were married. I think Hope’s enemy, Steffy, (Jaqueline Wood) is right that Hope has some Brooke-induced psychological issues about sex. She doesn’t want to wait until her wedding night. She wants to avoid it forever.
Wait a minute. I just wrote a defense of Steffy’s opinion on Hope’s virginity. Steffy should not know anything about it. But the topic is trending on Twitter in the B&B universe. Liam talked to Steffy. Brooke, Ridge and Taylor have all weighed in on the subject of Hope’s V-card. Imagine this conversation happening in your family.The Forresters and Logans have no boundaries.
I am having a lot of fun mocking the execution of this storyline, but I like the idea of Hope trying to be the opposite of her scandalous mother. Unlike most soap goodie two shoes, I understand her motivation. Matula deserves a lot of credit for making what could easily become an insufferable, sanctimonious character likable and interesting. I’m rooting for Hope to get over her issues before Liam cheats on her with party girl Steffy. Usually in this scenario, I’d be rooting for the bad girl. Still, the snarky side of me wonders if Hope’s “Hope For The Future” clothing line”is so unattractive because she has subconsciously designed the outfits to function as giant chastity belts.
Digging Up Mom
Speaking of soap children who will need to spend years in therapy to undo the damage caused by their parents, my heart goes out to “One Life to Live’s” Shane (Austin Williams), who witnessed his father exhuming his mother’s corpse. The image of his mother, dead for weeks, lying in her coffin, will haunt his nightmares for the rest of his life, I’m sure. Shane has handled his mother’s death with remarkable maturity. His plan to make Jack (Andrew Trischetta) pay for accidentally killing Gigi (Farrah Fath) was to get him to confess and turn him over to the police. This is a good, logical idea. Rex (John Paul Lavoisier) should learn from his son.
I realize that grief makes people do crazy things. I bought Rex having visions of Gigi and seeing a psychic in the hopes of contacting her spirit, particularly since Madame Delphina is an established presence on the show. I bought him taking her advice and heading to a strip club in Kentucky, where he encountered Kim (Amanda Setton). I could see him concluding that Gigi, for some reason, wanted him to inspire Kim to return to Llanview. She could be the person who will get Rex and Clint (Jerry Ver Dorn) to forge a father-son relationship. I don’t understand why anyone else indulged his belief that Gigi could be alive. When he asked Bo to get him legal permission to dig up Rex’s grave, I expected Bo to point our that Gigi’s heart was beating in Clint’s chest, so therefore it was impossible for her to be alive. Instead, he accompanied him to the big dig.
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The shocking moment seemed designed to push Shane over the edge so that he could be a suspect in the much hyped “Who shot Victor?” storyline. Given how murderous the teen boys of Llanview are, he could be a viable suspect, although I would be incredibly disappointed if the show went this route. This is one time I approved of a soap teen mouthing off to his parents. Shane has every right to be upset that his father desecrated his mother’s grave. I hope that he continues to be wise beyond his years and persuades his father to get therapy instead of indulging his irrational whims.
Y&R’s Billy Miller Lands Recurring Role on Ringer
Billy Miller, who plays Billy on “The Young & the Restless” is the latest soap star to land a role on the CW’s new primetime soap,”Ringer.” The show stars “All My Children” alum Sarah Michelle Gellar as Bridget, a recovering drug addict, who ends up impersonating her identical twin, Siobhan. According to TV Guide, Miller will play the recurring role of “Charlie, a blue-collar guy who Bridget meets at an Narcotics Anonymous meeting.” Miller will first appear in the show’s fifth episode. ” It was previously announced that another Y&R star, Michelle Stafford, (Phyllis) will guest star as a socialite. AMC alum Justin Breuning will also recur on the show as a love interest for Siobhan.