‘Desperate Housewives’ Premiere Recap: Shallow Grave

Desperate Housewives (ABC)

Desperate Housewives (ABC)

The eighth season of “Desperate Housewives” picked up immediately after the seventh season ended. The housewives and Carlos (Ricardo Chavira) drove to a remote field and buried Gabi’s dead, evil, child molester stepfather to protect Carlos from being arrested for his murder. Of course, Carlos killed him in self-defense with a candlestick, so it would have made far more sense to lawyer up then call the police. Carlos would probably have been charged with, at most, impersonating a character from Clue.

The rest of the episode showcases how each of the characters handles the pressure of being involved with the cover up. Susan (Teri Hatcher) avoids her friends and has a meltdown when the classroom guinea pig dies while she is substitute teaching. Carlos is so wracked with guilt that he ultimately confesses to a priest who is on his way out of the country. Gabi (Eva Longoria) thinks her husband is a hero for getting rid of the man who tormented her. Bree (Marcia Cross) is utterly untroubled, and sleeping with the police detective she started seeing last season. Lynette (Felicity Huffman) has nightmares and ends up sleeping with Tom, who comes to the erroneous conclusion that she wants to reconcile with him.

Watch The Premiere Below:

[iframe http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/tv/Desperate-Housewives/93750/2144207263/Secrets-That-I-Never-Want-to-Know/embed 580 476]

There’s a humorous but ridiculous set piece in which Gabi and Bree attempt to drive dead pervy stepdad’s car to a bad neighborhood so no one will notice it on Wisteria Lane and trace it back to them. There’s no reason why anyone would link the car to them given that nobody would know that the perv had any connection to Gabi, but logic has never been DH’s strongsuit.  Neither knows how to drive a stick, which seems improbable since Bree is so practical and Gabi likes sports cars. Bree’s cop boyfriend notices them lurching down the street, pulls them over and insists on taking over driving. They concoct a series of increasingly ridiculous lies to explain what they are doing, then miraculously a carjacker steals the car. There is no way that Bree’s boyfriend would not be suspicious, but there was not any follow up to the sequence in this episode.

A handsome stranger, Ben Faulkner (Charles Mesure) moves to Wisteria Lane. Renee (Vanessa Williams) hits on him, but he does not seem interested. Perhaps he will end up with the newly separated Lynette.

Then, at the very end of the episode, things got interesting. Bree received a letter that read, “I know what you did. It makes me sick. I’m going to tell.” That is, of course, the same letter that Mary Alice received shortly before she killed herself. It looks like, in its final season, the show is calling back to its first, and best, season.

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