‘DWTS’: The Stars Boogie to The ’80s

Anna Trebunskaya and Carson Kressley (Adam Taylor/ABC)

Anna Trebunskaya and Carson Kressley (Adam Taylor/ABC)

Ah, the sweet smell of crimped hair, side-ponies, bold makeup, neon colors, and yes, some funny, funky dance moves. It was ’80s week – a first! – on “Dancing with the Stars” and boy did the gang have fun with the costumes, hair, and vibes of the decade in this fifth week of competition.

The house band for the evening, the Bangles, opened the show with their hits from that era, “Eternal Flame” and “Walk Like an Egyptian.” Yes, Bruno Tonioli did the whole Egyptian arm movement thing to dance along. What a lovely blast from the past! And, best costume of the night went to Carson and Anna for their oh-so-’80s brightly colored fitness-wear.

Was it totally tubular? Or were you gagged with a spoon?

Oh, whey, oh, away we go…

Hope Solo and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Tango
What a disappointment. The pair didn’t look very ’80s and the tension between the two from rehearsals showed up on the dance floor. Dancing to Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer,” it looked like Maks was forcing her through the moves. Hope’s little rock-out part at the end where she shook her hair and grabbed the mic: l-a-m-e. Sorry. What did the judges’ think, though? It was very much a miss. “Hope, you were too willowy. There was no strength in you.” (Boos in the studio; nods of agreement among the backstage press.) Bruno thought she got the ’80s super bitch down to a “T.” (Well, he got one word right!) “It was strong, sexy, and powerful,” he added. Carrie Ann took the middle ground, saying she sort of agrees with both.
Score: 24

Carson Kressley and Anna Trebunskaya: Jive
“I love the ’80s,” said Carson. We do too. He certainly showed his love for this wacky decade with a colorful dance to Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” dressed in a bright yellow and blue cheerleading outfit with pom-poms and leg warmers. (He even did a cartwheel to kick it off.) But was there enough technique? Hell no! Do we care? Hell no. “That was loopier than a loony tune,” said Bruno. “It was a crowing achievement in madness.” Carrie Ann said it was definitely fun and loved watching Richard Simmons in the audience digging the performance. But she also commented on the lack of technique and Len said it wasn’t good enough.
Score: 19

Watch  Monday’s Episode Of “DWTS”:

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Nancy Grace and Tristan MacManus: Rumba
Looking very ’80s prom date in this romantic rumba to the smooth sounds of Spandau Ballet, Nancy didn’t quite impress the judges or show improvement from last week. Carrie Ann said, “It was nice. But I want to see real passion when you are dancing. I don’t feel a connection… You are feeling a little on the drab side to me.” Len said, “There was an ease and an elegance about it, which I enjoyed very much. Overall, I thought you did a very good job.” Bruno, shockingly, agreed with Len. Bruno called her a southern belle and thought the dance was “sexy; it wasn’t slutty” and called it one of her best performances. 2 out of 3 judges loved it, commented Tom Bergeron.
Score: 22

J.R. Martinez and Karina Smirnoff: Samba
Yes! Four performances in and we finally get to see a mullet. Not only did the childhood photo in the rehearsal package show J.R. in a 1980s mullet, but he wore a business-in-the-front/party-in-the-back hairdo for Monday night’s performance too. Hair aside, his samba to Gloria Estefan was totally bitchin’! He dug into his Latin roots (full name: Jose Rene Martinez) and delivered the goods. “I want more of that because that was friggin’ amazing!” screamed Carrie Ann. Bruno and Len loved it big time too. The proof is in the scores: one 10 and two 9s.
Score: 28

Rob Kardashian and Cheryl Burke: Rumba
Great admission of the night: Cheryl Burke saying she didn’t think Rob would make it this far. Quite frankly, neither did we. Rob returned the kind words by saying that it’s hard to get into romantic rumba mode because he doesn’t see her that way. Ouch. Kidding aside, Season 12 contender Romeo was on hand to give his old USC buddy Rob some advice. Did it help? He did well, but the lack of chemistry was a bit awkward. Bruno called Rob a heartthrob. Carrie Ann called him strong and sexy and totally in control. “Sexy as heck, even in a bright green shirt!” she added. Len said, “You took command in that dance.”
Score: 25

Chaz Bono and Lacey Schwimmer: Samba
Chaz and Lacey got down on it to Kool & the Gang in a sassy, fun and celebratory samba that was boosted by advice from Lacey’s dancer dad, Buddy, who helped shy Chaz learn how to shake his booty during practice. “Shake it down, break it, it took your mamma nine months to make it!” squealed Carrie Ann, who loved it and appreciated all of the samba content in the routine. Bruno loved his bounce and wiggle. “You did very well,” said Bruno. Len was loopy for it too. Kudos all around.
Score: 21

David Arquette and Kym Johnson: Tango
In rehearsals, David was a bit freaked out about a part of the routine where they break hold. Worrying what Len would say, he did a great imitation of the cranky judge anticipating what he might say: “It’s like ordering fish and not getting chips.” Funny stuff. Channeling ’80s industrial/goth acts in black rocker outfits complete with chains, the pair tangoed their tails off to “Tainted Love.” Did Len like his imitation? Well, he was laughing. “It had a great ’80s feel,” he said instead. “You have shown up and it was fantastic!” “Oh yes,” Bruno said, “That was a tango with a rebel yell! You were randy rascal!” Carrie Ann and Len then argued over his musicality. Carrie Ann also said he is now a real contender. (Uh, we said that from day one!)
Score: 25

Ricki Lake and Derek Hough: Foxtrot
Ricki entertained in a super-awful blue ’80s prom dress and blue eye shadow with Derek looking oh-so-cool in David Bowie-esque hair, but their dance moves lacked a bit. “You were way off, honey!” Carrie Ann said about the running rabbit “Roger Rabbit” move, before adding that when they come together, they really come together. Len said, “It wasn’t your best dance, but it wasn’t your worst.” “I did mess up a bit,” said Ricki, happy with her scores.
Score: 24

Up next week: Broadway week!

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