‘DWTS’ Results: Who Gets Robbed on the Way to the Semifinals?

Derek Hough and Ricki Lake on DWTS (ABC)

Derek Hough and Ricki Lake on DWTS (ABC)

Would big-mouth Nancy Grace finally be silenced on “Dancing with the Stars?”  That was what backstagers believed would happen on Tuesday after the judges had smacked down the HLN legal analyst’s Monday night performances.  Although Nancy had received a respectable score of 24 for her first dance, the tango, she and partner Tristan MacManus flopped in their instant jive, getting only 20, the lowest score of the night.

The sassy TV crusader, who has both amused and annoyed “DWTS” fans all season by snapping at long-suffering Tristan, seemed the most obvious one to be going home.  After all, Judge Len Goodman had likened her to Cinderella at the stroke of midnight.  But Nancy has surprised us before, even outlasting actor David Arquette last week.

So who would make the final four and be in the crucial semifinals?  Here was what went down in the ballroom Tuesday night:

Eight of the female pros opened the show dancing to “I Am Woman.”  It was like a Vegas routine with Karina Smirnoff and Kym Johnson looking particularly sexy.  They ended the dance prone on the floor in their scanty attire like strippers exhausted after a long night – nice clean family viewing.  Ha.

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Then it was time for behind-the-scenes footage from last night, with Cheryl Burke talking partner Rob Kardashian through his dances.  Kris Jenner said “good luck, baby,” to her son before the first one.

Maks and Hope were shown backstage Monday night, too, and Maks asked if she was tired and the soccer star said she must be out of shape because she was so winded.  Cut to the judges–Carrie Ann asked Len if he saw her sloppy hands in the quickstep and Len said he didn’t care.

J.R. and Karina’s backstage footage showed the war vet dragging her up the stairs in joy after their first dance.  “Wait, I can’t run that fast,” Karina squealed as they went up the stairs.  They then ran backstage to practice their instant jive.  “Let’s do it again,” Karina said.  These behind the scenes segments aren’t what they used to be; not much too enlightening yet.

Oh, goody; it was finally time for the show to begin and to see the first couple who was safe.  It was J.R. and Karina, natch.  Then Hope and Maks were sent into the semifinals too, to some disgust from a few of the cynical reporters backstage who were tired of the drama.  Rob and Cheryl were called in jeopardy.

Now it was time for “Kenny Maynes’ Dance Center,” the reliably funny parody of “SportsCenter,” in which the former “DWTS” contestant does evaluations of the season’s cast.  Kenny, with Jerry Rice and Len Goodman as his sidekicks, said Ricki Lake is old enough to be Derek Hough’s mother but doesn’t play the traditional role.  They then showed suggestive rehearsal poses of the two of them together, making it look like they could be sex partners (again, this is considered a “family show”?  Hide the kids!).  “Don’t ask, don’t tell,” Jerry Rice said of veteran J.R. as he leaped around effeminately during Broadway week.  But Kenny pulled of the line of the night, saying of Rob, “He’s lasted longer on the show than his sister’s marriage.”  The gang pointed out how often Rob has mentioned being a student at USC, too.  Stay tuned for more Dance Center later.

Backstage, Nancy Grace stated the obvious, that she and Tristan could have done better in their jive while basket case Ricki talked yet again about being nervous.  Then it was time for another time-filling segment as Andrea Bocelli sang “More,” accompanied by trumpeter Chris Botti.  It was fun to see the singer do a jazz standard instead of his usual opera (he has a new album, apparently) and three pro dance couples beautifully accompanied “More” with a full-on ballroom number.  It looked like a ‘50s musical, so smooth.

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Back to Dance Center: Jerry pretended he had the hots for Nancy Grace after they showed a funny clip of her doing an old cheerleading routine. Kenny dubbed Hope “Han” Solo and showed a clip of her at a sexy photo shoot..ugh, cut to Len without his clothes (with blocks across his private parts, of course).  Kenny referred to the notorious statement by Maks that it was HIS show–and they rolled some phony credits that proved Maks had produced, written and directed DWTS that week!  Very funny.

Then it was time for Macys Stars of Dance with Cirque de Soleil members doing a routine set to the Michael Jackson music “Smooth Criminal” and “Billie Jean.”  Ooh, kind of creepy and bad timing as his doctor was just convicted Monday of involuntary manslaughter against the late King of Pop.  These numbers seemed a little stale, actually, with the dancers imitating Michael in black suits and hats. It’s been done so many times before.  And the imposters will never live up to the real thing.  Sad.  Get me some propofol!

In all seriousness, though, I preferred the Jackson tribute to what followed: Miami rapper Flo Rida performing his hits “Club Can’t Handle Me” and “Good Feeling.”

Then Tristan was shown backstage, for once, ordering Nancy to be angry.  Now wonder she had such attitude during her tango!  The Monday footage continued with Nancy saying she was ready during instant dance.  “Come on,” Nancy pleaded with the judges as she ended the instadance on her knees.  Didn’t see that last night!  She hugged son John after the dances.

Cut to Ricki and Derek who didn’t do much talking during their first dance.  She apologized to her pro for losing her footing.  “Knees, rock step, go!” Derek coached Ricki during the second dance.  Backstage, Ricki was distraught, even more than on camera Monday.

Despite her torment, the next couple safe was Ricki and Derek.  Nancy and Tristan were in the bottom two with Rob and Cheryl.

Warning, Spoilers!!

So who would go home?  Cue thumping music.  Nancy had a big smile of her face.  Rob looked cool and collected.  Nancy was going home.  The reporters backstage were sad as we all loved talking to Nancy.  She gave such great quotes all season and was truly an inspiration with her weight loss and fight against ageism on “DWTS.”  Tristan said they had a blast.  What?  He was a glutton for punishment.  Despite the squabbles, though, they were a genuinely fun couple and no one wanted to see them go.  Nancy talked about how she became friends with the other stars and the dancers.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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