“Parenthood” continues to be two shows. The one about Sarah (Lauren Graham) and her continued attraction to an ex that will bring her nothing but trouble, is the sort of complicated, realistic emotional drama found in the best indie movies. Everyone involved deserves an Emmy nomination. Then there’s the rest of the show, in which the other Bravermans who have enviable lives, whine about everything.
On this week’s episode of the awesome hypothetical spin-off, “Gilmore Girls on Literal Crack,”a fresh out of rehab Seth (John Corbett) rents a TV grungy motel room, which would be nice except for the artfully applied graffiti and a couple of broken things. Sarah helps him move in. Step away from the alkie ex, Sarah. Sarah is thrilled when Amber (Mae Whitman) suggests letting him stay in her apartment; she’ll move back to the guest house. Amber tells her Dad she’s only doing it for Sarah. Sarah’s perfect younger boyfriend is not thrilled by Seth’s ever expanding role in Sarah’s life. When Sarah brings Seth groceries, in a transparent excuse to see him, he tells her that Drew (Miles Heizer) told him all about is first kiss. It’s too bad that happened off-camera. A bunch of stuff falls out of a drawer including a birthday card he sent Amber when she was 8. Seth ends up kissing Sarah — and it’s not a peck, it’s a full-on make-out session. No! What is it that’s so appealing about Seth? The fact that he’s unemployed and broke? His decades of inadequate parenting? Or is Sarah just a sucker for men who make her feel stable and responsible by comparison? Watch and see if you can figure it out.
Amber overhears Sarah talking to Camille about how she pictures herself getting back together with Seth even though she is happy with Mark. She can tell that her mother is on the verge of wrecking her life again. When Seth tells Amber he plans to move to town permanently, she decides to avert the train wreck and tearfully tells her father Sarah was so happy before he came back. Seth did learn something in rehab. He selflessly decides to leave town, telling Sarah that he is moving to Tahoe with his cousin. He says he loves her. Sarah is not happy to see him go. He is also a good father, leaving Amber a pile of birthday cards for all the years he missed. That makes the third major problem this season that Amber has solved. Mark, Max and Drew need to get her expensive Christmas presents.
In this week’s installment of the other show, “Whole Foods: The Series,” Adam (Peter Krause) and Crosby (Dax Shepard) hire an attractive, smart, receptionist named Rachel for The Lucheonette. Crosby goes on about how hot she is, seemingly forgetting he hooked up with Minka Kelly last season. Adam is horny because Kristina has not been in the mood for sex since giving birth. Perhaps if Adam occasionally spent time with his child, she wouldn’t be so exhausted. Kristina thinks Rachel dresses like a slut because her bra is hanging out of her backless T-shirt, which she wears with jeans. It would be more scandalous if she weren’t wearing a bra. Rachel bends over while helping Adam with his computer, giving him a great view of her cleavage. At the Lucheonette’s grand opening party, Kristina wears a tight red dress. Unfortunately, her boobs leak all over it. Rachel loans her her jacket, so she is walking around in a skimpy dress. Kristina has a meltdown and Adam comforts her. Then wants to get frisky. She isn’t ready yet. At the end of the episode, Adam finally gets lucky with his wife.
Crosby is upset that Dr. Joe (D.B. Woodside) showed Jabbar a Harry Potter movie because he was reading the whole series to his son, and they have not gotten to that book yet. It’s official: Jabbar is more mature than Crosby. When Jabbar tells him that Dr. Joe is taking him to a football game. So he goes to swing his dick at Dr. Joe, telling him he is the one who is going to take him to his first football game. Hey, if it’s so important to you, how come you never took him before? Joe manages to both do right by Crosby and make him look like an ass by offering him his tickets and telling him he is serious about Jasmine and is going to be spending time with Jabbar. Crosby should look on the bright side: his son will get free medical care.