‘Survivor: South Pacific’ Recap: Nobody Puts Cochran in the Corner

Last Week: Christine made it to the final challenge only to lose, Coach and Albert didn’t fall for Ozzy’s poorly acted ruse, and Cochran’s flip left Keith singing the blues.

Quick Note:
J-Pro says we should expect two eliminations tonight. Dun dun dun…

39 Days, 18 People, 1 “Survivor” Blog

Here is the tribe as it currently stands…

The Te Tuna Tribe (wearing yellow)
Albert – 26, Baseball/Dating Coach
Brandon – 19, Oil Tanker Crewman
Coach – 39, Slayer of Dragons
Cochran – 24, Harvard Law Student
Dawn – 41, English Professor
Edna – 35, Anesthesiologist
Jim – 35, Medical Marijuana Dispensary Owner
Ozzy – 30, Challenge Destroyer
Rick – 51, Rancher
Sophie – 22, Medical Student
Whitney – 27, Country Music Singer

Currently Residing on Redemption Island (wearing hatred for Cochran)
Keith – 26, Water Treatment Tech

Cochran? You got some splainin’ to do.

This shindig gets underway with some hardcore Cochran abuse. Ozzy bats leadoff, taking Cochran aside and blaming him for ruining the game. Brandon the Protector does his best to keep it from getting out of hand, but even he couldn’t stop Ozzy from calling Cochran a wiener.

Yeah, you read that right. Thousands of insults in the English language and Ozzy went with “wiener.”

Jim does a bit better, as he lets Cochran know that he’s a “piece of (expletive deleted) coward and a poor excuse for a man.”

Whitney gets her turn next. She claims that her and Keith had saved him on three separate occasions. She gets off a Grade-A rant and tops if off by telling Cochran that he disgusts her. Wow, they finally let her talk and she knocked it out of the park. Keep it up and we can put the Purple Whitney nickname to rest.

OK…My Thoughts on Cochran’s Big Move: I’ve taken some time to think about it and I’m officially coming out against Cochran’s flip, and here’s why…

If he stays with Savaii, the worst thing that can happen is he pulls the wrong rock and goes home. The odds on that aren’t great. If Savaii wins the rock pull, he’s safe for a while.

With his lack of challenge skills, there is little-to-no reason for anyone to target him. As the numbers dwindle, he’ll have more opportunities to make things happen without turning potential jury members against him.

If Savaii loses the rock pull, he still has some time to make some moves. Ozzy, Jim, and Dawn would all be seen as bigger threats. And, when Upolu breaks down he’ll have a chance to do something.

As it stands now, every former member of Savaii who joins the jury (and it’ll be up to five of them) will see his betrayal as the reason they were booted out of the game.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled recap…

The next morning, the Upolians approach Cochran and ask him who he’d like to see go home next. He sees Ozzy as the biggest challenge threat, but Jim’s harsh words are fresh in his mind.

And with that, it’s already…

Immunity Challenge Time:
Players will toss coconuts into a ring. The first four players to get a coconut into their ring move on to the final round. There they’ll crack open a coconut and get a mouth full of coconut water (how trendy). They’ll then maneuver through an obstacle tower. Once they’re through the tower they’ll spit their coconut water into a tube. First person to fill their tube wins immunity.

Dawn, Whitney, Jim, and Sophie hit their shots and advance to the final round.

Not much to describe in the final round except for coconut crackin’ and water spittin’. Jim and Sophie are neck and neck (and spit) through the majority of it. It looks like Sophie just about had it won, but she got winded and spit up her water. This allowed Jim to pass her and win immunity.

Back at camp, Brandon wonders how many times you get to vote off someone like Ozzy. Cochran shows off his fancy Harvard education by replying, “Apparently two.”

Meanwhile, Ozzy and Coach are having a heart-to-heart in the woods. Ozzy isn’t ready to go home, but it isn’t lost on Coach that Ozzy wasn’t so interested in friendship when the deck was stacked in his favor.

Fun Fact: Ozzy and Coach seemed very open to working together before the game started.

A little later on, Jim hatches a crazy plan. He wants to give Ozzy his idol at Tribal, then make a speech that ten of the remaining eleven players have honor and that if Upolu votes Cochran out, they’ll still have a six-to-four advantage. His hope is that since Upolu won’t have a chance to discuss who else to vote for, it might throw them off.

Jimmy’s trying, I’ll give him that. But, he’s basically saying that he can’t win without his Savaii voting core.

That night at Tribal Council, Cochran refers to his reception after the previous Tribal Council as “luke warm.” Yeah, that’s like saying Dr. Houseman was a little miffed that Johnny Castle was hanging out with his daughter.

Don’t judge me.

Jim admits to taking Cochran’s flipping personally. Cochran doesn’t regret the move as it gave him an opportunity to play with the kind of people he wanted to play with. Savaii, not surprisingly, takes offense to that statement.

Jim then says that he, Keith, Whitney, and Ozzy had all stuck up for Cochran at different times. And that the Upolu tribe is far too honorable to let someone else fight their battles. Oooo…a little sucking up before dropping the bombshell?

Brandon feels like Savaii were a bunch of bullies and that Upolu has Cochran’s back 100%.

Jim then admits to his plan to give Ozzy his idol. This statement causes Coach and Brandon’s eyes to pop out of their heads. I can only assume that somewhere Eliza Orlins is smiling.

Jim continues with his speech saying that they can send a message that honor means something in the game of “Survivor” by voting out Cochran. Coach disagrees, saying it would send the message that if you stand up for yourself, you’ll be screwed.

This Tribal is starting to take on an after-school special kind of a vibe.

Ozzy finishes the festivities by letting everyone know that he’s only going to get stronger and more determined at Redemption Island. If you strike him down he shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Don’t judge me.

Before the voting starts, Jim ultimately decides to keep immunity.

Voting Time: Jim votes for Cochran, Cochran votes for Ozzy, and the rest await Jeff’s tallying ways.

One vote for Ozzy, one vote for Cochran, one vote for Ozzy, one vote for Cochran, three votes for Ozzy, and the first person this season to book a return trip to Redemption Island is…Ozzy.

And…we learn that Whitney and Dawn both voted for Ozzy.

Over at Redemption Island, Ozzy gets to work finding fish to fuel his challenge run. However, in a questionable move, he decides to feed his competition too.

Keith thinks the fish Ozzy caught is the freshest he’s ever had. Dude, you just watched him yank it out of the ocean.

Immunity Challenge Time…Again: All of the players will stand on a narrow beam while balancing a ball on a bow. As the challenge continues they’ll move further down the beam. Last person balancing on the beam with their ball on their bow wins immunity.

Man, that’s some alliteration. Now I’m kind of hoping Brandon wins.

Probst offers the players the opportunity to step out of the challenge in exchange for a delicious selection of pastries and iced coffee.

The Upolu members are very excited at this news, but Coach says he’s ready to compete. However, to remain united with his crew, he decides to sit with the rest of his alliance.

So, they built all of those beams and bows and balls and only Jim, Whitney, and Dawn are going to use them? Seems wasteful.

During the feast, Probst tries to ask Brandon a question. Brandon responds that he doesn’t want to talk, he wants to eat. In other news, Brandon is winning me over. Which is tough for him after voting out my girlfriend Mikayla.

Jim is the first one out, Brandon does a terrible job of hiding his excitement.

Dawn tells Jeff that she’s going to try to stay in the challenge as long as possible so the Upolu folks will have more time to eat. Not a bad way to win friends and influence people.

Note: The sloppy pastry eating is kind of gross. Not ripping-pork-off-of-a-pig-carcass-with-your-hands-tied-behind-your-back gross. But gross.

Both Dawn and Whitney survive the first round. Apparently that’s long enough for the Upolutians to eat their fill.

Dawn almost loses it, but manages to hang in there. Again, Brandon does a terrible job of hiding his excitement that she’s able to keep competing. Whitney takes this personally.

Eventually Dawn drops out and Whitney wins immunity.

Back at camp, Jim points out that Cochran is playing a wonderful 3rd-place game at this point. Can’t argue with that. Jim takes Sophie and Albert aside and goes over the numbers with them. Jim’s plan is to get rid of Edna. Albert, however, sees Dawn as more of a threat.

Sophie thinks it’s too soon to rock the boat. She wants Jim gone.

That night at Tribal Council, Coach admits that either Jim or Dawn is going home.

Sophie thinks that Dawn is strong, but that she’d go for Jim every time. Albert thinks that Dawn is more likable and probably the strongest female player this season.

Dawn admits that given the chance, Savaii would pick Upolu off one by one. She then says that if the numbers were in her favor she wouldn’t have sat out during the balance beam bow ball challenge.

Brandon takes offense to that statement because she agreed to stay in the challenge to allow them to eat.

Wait, what? I thought Brandon and her were BFFs. And…I fail to see a contradiction.

Brandon then breaks out a trademark Brandon Rant and goes off on how the Savaiians are only nice because they have to be.

Quick Aside: I’m glad they’re sticking to tribal alliances, because I’m not comfortable calling them “Te Tunitians.”

Whitney thinks she’s played the game honestly and she’s upset that she is being vilified. She has a bit of a breakdown as she doesn’t think she was ever a bully to Cochran.

Cochran is running around in Coach’s jacket. Adorable. If he does it again next week I propose the nickname “CoCochran.”

Voting Time…Again:
No votes are shown.

J-Pro does some tallying and returns. We’ve got three votes for Edna, five votes for Jim, and the tenth person to make a trip to Redemption Island is…Jim.

Verdict: Nothing too shocking this episode except for Upolu turning on Dawn. Here’s hoping it doesn’t get boring between now and Upolu’s eventual meltdown.

Who’s Going to Win:
There’s something about Sophie.

Power Rankings Update:
I was really sweating when they were talking about booting Dawn and Edna. But fortunately (for me) I was able to get both of the eliminations right this week and finally break Andrea Boehlke’s three-episode winning streak. I had Ozzy in tenth and Jim in eleventh for twenty one points, while Andrea had Ozzy in eleventh and Jim in ninth for twenty points. The current score is Team Boehlke 120, Team Holmes 122.

Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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