Except for San Franciscans, I have no idea who would actually choose a late night “Idol” in favor of going out and celebrating the Giants’ win, or for non-football fans, just going to bed. But to each his own, I guess. And for those of us who did stay up late for auditions in San Diego, we were rewarded with a fun time.
The auditions were held on an aircraft carrier, and besides the natural bleeping coming from all sorts of boats, planes and even canons, contestants faced the additional hazard of hitting their heads on the low ceilings as they emerged from the judges’ chambers.
Jennifer Lopez continued her streak this season of wearing high-waisted short-short kulats, and Steven Tyler continued his streak of looking like the female wax version of himself. Sunday he seemed to be wearing a light fuchsia lipstick to match the feather/dead animal in his hair and green-goggle aviator glasses, the better to see the first auditioner with…
There’s always got to be one of them. Jennifer Diley showed up for her audition in a red-and-white bikini top and short shorts so miniscule that not even J-Lo would be seen in them. Apparently judging has gotten more serious since that awful Bikini Girl of Season 8, Katrina Darrell, because Diley didn’t make it to Hollywood despite her near-nakedness. She did, however, inspire one of Ryan Seacrest’s funniest lines ever: “San Diego starts with a bust.”
Ali Shields is an adorable 19-year-old with loads of energy, a decent “ghetto-dance,” and apparently only one outfit. Shields appeared on the “Ellen Degeneres Show” after writing a song for the talk show host, and Ellen sent her to the AMA’s, where she announced she’d never been kissed and preceded to smooch anyone even slightly famous, like Mike Posner—you know, the singer of that seminal hit, “Bow Chicka Wow Wow.” In the Ellen footage, Shields is wearing a knee-length white flowy skirt and a bright pink cardigan. And in Sunday’s audition, she’s wearing the exact same thing. No matter, though, because her rap and highly affected Corinne Bailey Rae cover get her through to the next round. She also gets a few more kisses from the “Idol” crew. Only Ryan respects her enough to only offer a hug.
Ryan does get a kiss, though, from none other than Jason “Wolf” Hamlin, a mechanic (hot) for golf carts (not), who impressed the judges with a number on his late dad’s handmade “git-fiddle.” I hope to see a lot more from Wolf, not only because he can sing, but because the hulking werewolf delightfully makes Ryan look adorably miniature.
One of the biggest surprises was Kyle Crews, a 19-year-old frat-boy who looks like a marshmallow in a checkered shirt, yet sings like the lost member of Boyz II Men. He makes it to Hollywood but not before he gets a word of fashion advice from Randy Jackson, who the day before was wearing a checkered shirt, to lose the checkered shirt.
And the award for the contestant blowing Fox’s mind the most goes to Jane Carrey, daughter of Jim Carrey. She sounded decent on “Something to Talk About” and succeeded in making J-Lo feel old—the judge and former Fly Girl met Jane when she was a toddler visiting dad on the set of “In Living Color.” The 24-year-old waitress auditioned for “Idol” to try to break free from her father’s shadow, but I’m pretty sure producers are banking on many profitable audience cameos from her famous dad. And I totally get why, because I didn’t watch “Dancing with the Stars” until Chaz Bono was on, just in hopes of spotting Cher in the audience. And when I finally did, it was worth it.
S*** Judges Say:
Steven Tyler: “I can’t wait to see 40 people sing the same Adele song for six *bleeping* hours.”
Watch Carrey’s Impressive Performance:
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