‘Survivor’ Villain Pulled From the Game

Colton Cumbie of 'Survivor' (Photo: CBS)

Say it with me everyone, Karma’s a b*tch!

After terrorizing the island with his whiny, b*tchy, lazy, elitist attitude, conniving Colton Cumbie got what he deserved Wednesday night on “Survivor: One World.” He was eliminated from the game … but not in a way anyone could have predicted.

Ultimately, there wasn’t a pay off for his rotten behavior, er, strategy, as Colton ended up having no shot at the million dollars. Not even halfway through the game, Colton was stricken with excruciating pains, severe enough to warrant a visit from Jeff Probst and the medical team. Suddenly, it was game over for Colton once the doc determined it was a possible appendicitis and had him pulled from the game and flown to a hospital for treatment. [Update: Colton after the episode aired that he had a “severe bacterial infection”.]

Hilarious side note: Kat’s dumber than a bag of rocks’ fear of having her appendix “hurt” too – after having to be told just what an appendix is.

Now, why exactly the other castaways allowed Colton to become the ringleader of the “Manono Misfits” is still a head-scratcher, but at any rate, his abrupt departure certainly was a game-changer (sparing “goner” Christina, for one) that even affected the “Sexy Salani” tribe.

Because “One World” they are now, as this episode also marked “The Merge.” “Drop your buffs” Probsty announced at the joint tribal council, where the shocked tribes quickly tried to size up where their new and old alliances stand. This is the third time the teams have flip-flopped this season, from men vs. women to Greek Gods vs. Peasants to who knows what they are now. But relationships are cloudier than Tarzan’s memory and the role of King Schemer is up for grabs.

Colton’s reign of terror – which included calling his tribemates “a bunch of idiots,” orchestrating a teammate’s ouster because he didn’t have “a real job” and taunting “cockroach” Christina – ended with one final blow.

As Colton was being evacuated, Probst asked him the pivotal question, “Do you still have the idol?” Which he did, and had the option of giving to anyone, since it wasn’t going to do him any good in the emergency room, but his selfishness was undiminished by his painful twist of fate.

“I think I’ll keep this as a souvenir,” Colton smirked, clinging to the idol and denying an ally like, say, the equally wretched Alicia, a shot at advancing in the game. Alicia’s sympathetic reaction to her friend’s woes? “Screw him!” Indeed, it was a ballsy move to say the least, considering Colton didn’t even bother to discover the idol himself — it was given to him by someone else! Okay, wait, maybe they are all “a bunch of idiots.”

Watch the Shocking Turn of Events on Wednesday Night’s “Survivor” Below.

“Thanks for the Souvenir!”

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The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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