Many people consider “Survivor” Hall of Famer Ozzy Lusth to be the greatest challenge competitor in the show’s history. But even he couldn’t pull off the “win every immunity challenge until the end” strategy.
Troy “Troyzan” Robertson had little choice but to try a similar strategy after his alliance with Kim Spradlin went up in flames. Ultimately he was unsuccessful. But in fairness to Troyzan, immunity doesn’t always go to the fastest or the strongest. Sometimes it goes to whoever’s the best on a slip n’ slide.
I spoke with Troyzan the morning after his elimination and found out why it was so hard to break up the Spradlin Six, what he really said after last week’s heated challenge, and why anyone would ever request time off from taking pictures of bikini models…
Gordon Holmes: Now, I understand it’s best not to (expletive deleted) with you, so I’m going to do my best to stay clear of that.
Troy “Troyzan” Robertson: (Laughs) Well, they bleeped out the word “eff,” because I never said (expletive deleted). I wanted it to make the show.
Holmes: I think the point gets across either way.
Robertson: I agree.
Holmes: You were eliminated in the first round of last night immunity tournament, and instead of watching the rest of it, you kind of just stared off at the beautiful Samoan beach.
Robertson: First of all, I didn’t like those kinds of challenges. I wanted it to be me against everyone where we’d do something at the same time. Especially a physical challenge, like something Navy SEALs would do. And I didn’t like that I was paired with Tarzan because it’s one ring toss, it could be a lucky toss and you’re done. So, I was hurrying to try to get stuff done. And then when I heard his name I was distraught because I knew that was it. I couldn’t even look at the challenge, I was just beside myself. I couldn’t look at these people. But then I realized that they thought I might still have an idol, so I can’t act completely bummed out. I was disgusted. Disgusted with them.
Holmes: So, you’re trying to say that Navy SEALs don’t use slip n’ slides?
Robertson: (Laughs) They would laugh at that. I wanted something like swimming or something in the water. And we never did one! I was jacked up for serious challenges. But in my mind, I thought I’d win every challenge. I was going to win out. I was 100% sure. So when I heard, “Tarzan wins,” I just walked away.
Holmes: That’s a shame, because hearing Jeff Probst’s melodious voice should always be a good thing.
Robertson: It was brutal, it kept ringing in my head. And I could hear those girls celebrating, and they were so smug to begin with. I could’ve killed them.
Holmes: Speaking of things you could have killed; what happened with the pig?
Robertson: We had enough food. And those girls were talking stupid stuff like, “Let’s kill the pig and have ham sandwiches for dinner and bacon for breakfast!” And I’m thinking, “You guys are stupid.” First of all, you don’t know how to kill a pig. It’s going to be squealing and bleeding and suffering. I’m not into that. If we had a way to kill it quick and we were starving, I’d be for it. Christina was like, “Knock if over the head with a pan!”
Holmes: Like a cartoon.
Robertson: I don’t even know where to start with the mentality of the women.
Holmes: What is it about this season where people are afraid to make moves until they’re specifically in danger? Is it really that bad strategically out there?
Robertson: Yes, it is. They’re totally clueless. I don’t know if it’s because the majority of them have never watched the show. They’re all afraid, and when people are afraid they just want to be safe and they want to be told what to do. The single most difficult thing to do out there is to change someone’s mind who is in fear. You can starve and be tired and strategize, that’s easy. Changing someone’s mind is difficult. They weren’t playing to win, they were playing to stay around.
Holmes: When you thought you were still tight with Kim, she told you that Michael was gunning for you. Did you trust her that much that you took that at face value or did you talk to other people and try to find out if that was the case?
Robertson: I’d been told that for weeks on end. It started back when it was just the men. He’d been saying things about wanting to get rid of me. I walked by him one time and he called me, “Your highness.” I didn’t appreciate where he was coming from. We were on the outs from day one. He was constantly saying things to perturb me. It wasn’t a thing where Kim said one thing and I blew up; it was the culmination of weeks and weeks of him annoying the crap out of me.
Holmes: After you were voted out last night, you got all Obi-Wan Kenobi with Kat. You told her to “Do it.” What was the motivation behind that?
Robertson: I feel like Kat is an underdog. All the girls play her. OK, Kat isn’t the most intelligent person based on what comes out of her mouth. But, she’s an underdog and I always root for the underdog. I got tired of Kim and Sabrina and Chelsea and Alicia’s smugness. So I said, “Kat, you’re smart enough to figure this out, so do it. Don’t let these people get to you.”
Holmes: The reward challenge we saw last night has been used in past seasons, and I’m pretty sure it only exists to hurt people’s feelings. Last night it was said that you’re the biggest poser and that you’re someone people would never want to see again after the show. How do you take that?
Robertson: I just take it as those girls showing their true colors. They are who they are, they’re smug. And they think that they’re only like that on “Survivor,” but that’s who they are deep down. Every single one of them. What you saw is who we are deep down inside. So, if you see someone who’s deceitful, they’re deceitful in some ways in their real life. Just like me; I lied to Matt, and I can do that in my real life. What you saw of me is 100% me and it’s 100% of everyone out there. And if they don’t want to see me out of the game, I have no problems with that, because I have no plans to be friends with them. We’re not going to be singing “Kumbaya” around the fire.
Holmes: Let’s get into some word association. We’ll start with Kim.
Robertson: No comment.
Robertson: A goofy innocence.
Robertson: (Laughs) An eccentric alien.
Robertson: (Laughs) Hairy.
Robertson: Split personality.
Robertson: Oh my, God…Christina? Boobs.
Holmes: A lot of people describe “Survivor” as their ultimate adventure. And I agree, it must be an amazing experience. However, you’re a swimsuit photographer, which also seems like an amazing adventure. Why would you ever leave that job for a minute?
Robertson: You have no idea how much I love “Survivor.” From the first show with Richard Hatch with all the people running around naked and starving and doing all of these crazy challenges, I thought, “Whatever this is, I need to be a part of it.” I had to do “Survivor.” And people say it’s hard to pull myself away from shooting swimsuit models, but at this point I love “Survivor” more. So, it was easy to do. Although Kate Upton and Brooklyn Decker were tough to break away from, but they knew how much I wanted to do it, so they gave me their blessing.
Holmes: OK, I was sorry to see you go, but now I’m finding myself hating you.
Robertson: (Laughs) Hey, you’ve got to play your cards right, you could come on a shoot with me.
Holmes: You misheard me; I meant that now I adore you.
Robertson: Oh, alright. Wait, you’re with Comcast, when am I going to get a special deal on my cable?
Holmes: I’ll get to work on a cable-deal-for-bikini-outing exchange.
Any Questions? Drop me a line on Twitter: @gordonholmes