‘American Idol’ Has Its Final Four

American Idol's Final Four (Michael Becker/FOX)

Where’s Tommy Hilfiger when you need him? The “American Idol” wardrobe team got blasted by Jimmy Iovine tonight for dressing 16-year-old Jessica Sanchez in an extremely tight, extremely grown up white dress and sky-high heels. “Last night was a travesty,” Jimmy complained. “Stylists, you’re torpedoing this girl!”

While I couldn’t agree more, I have to wonder whatever happened to Hilfiger’s advisory sessions with the contestants. And even if he had been there to halt Jessica’s fashion faux pas, would it make any difference? After all, he made Erika Van Pelt chop off her hair only to get her kicked off the next day, so maybe he’s lost all credibility anyway. But someone, anyone, should have stopped Jessica from looking all, um, “burlesque,” as Jimmy called it.

America, however, did not stop her. She was in the “Top 3” tonight (in a new switcheroo), alongside Joshua Ledet and Phillip Phillips.

About Joshua, Jimmy said he seemed like he was singing “To Love Somebody” for the past 30 years. And suddenly we were on the corporate investor sub-site of Interscope.com watching a marketing presentation. “This kid deserves greatness, and we at Interscope are going to do everything we can not to drop this ball.” I love how incredibly un-confident this statement is, acknowledging that Interscope may have dropped quite a few balls in the past. Afterward, Ryan Seacrest asks Joshua what kind of album he’s going to make. So, basically, turn off the TV folks. No need to watch the next four weeks. Joshua’s already doing his victory interview.

Jimmy predicted Phillip would be in the bottom two (as did I)—he wasn’t. While he did give him props for not giving up on the show despite the painful pebbles in his organs, he said Phillip’s “been coasting” and needs to stop being so bland.

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Hollie Cavanaugh got pretty good marks from the mentor, and later, Jimmy compared her to Jessica Sanchez and named Hollie the winner in the teen-girl-tries-to-pay-homage-to-Tina-Turner-while-still-being-appropriately-innocent-seeming battle. But it was back to the danger-stools for Hollie.

And Jimmy agreed with me that Skylar Laine had no idea what the lyrics to “Fortunate Son” actually meant. And he said “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me” didn’t have “that darkness that Dusty Springfield had.” But he still liked her. America did not.

And so, after some confusion over whether it was Kieran or Matt who was dimming the lights, the stage went dark, the heartbeat noise was piped in, and Skylar was sent home.

The Other Stuff

Coldplay and Carrie Underwood performed tonight, and maybe it’s my TV or something, but both of them sounded almost as bad as Phillip did last night. Coldplay especially, with Chris Martin doing a not-quite-right falsetto on “Paralyzed.” Carrie was more screamy on her single “Blown Away.” Also she looked a bit (my new favorite word) “tanorexic.” Then Coldplay sang again. And confetti fell from the sky.

The Ford music video had no discernibly coherent plot, but put Hollie in a cage and Joshua in a pirate’s eye patch, and everyone stealing a giant egg, only to find Hollie out of her cage in the wood, playing a golden guitar. Can Hollie play guitar? Because that might actually make me want her to win this whole thing.

Back to Skylar. During her elimination video, she was shown singing along to Scotty McCreery’s goodbye anthem and looking totally sweet. Then she sang her farewell song—one of those angry woman scorned country stomper songs, the one by Miranda Lambert. “I’m going home, gonna load my shotgun,” Skylar shouted at us. And for all the talk about the contestants needing to be emotionally connected with their lyrics, at least this girl is singing the truth.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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