‘True Blood’: Sookie Gets Some Nookie

True Blood (HBO)

It’s a great weekend to be Joe Manganiello. The giant sexy bag of sex is one of the stars of “Magic Mike” and on Sunday night’s episode of “True Blood“, “We’ll Meet Again,” his character Alcide finally got the girl. Yes, Sookie, (Anna Paquin) the show’s ostensible main character, was on for more than five minutes this week. There was also a return to a much-improved fairyland, an underground bunker,  a cursed car and the saddest breakup in the series history. Here are the episode’s five most shocking twists.

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Eric and Pam Break Up

Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) and Bill (Stephen Moyer)  begin their search for Russell. Knowing that Pam (Kristin Bauer), Alcide, and Sookie are among the few who know that Russell was alive, they head to Bon Temps. Eric interrogates Pam until she convinces him that she’s innocent. She sincerely tells him that she would die to protect him. He believes her. Realizing that he is in all likelihood on a suicide mission, and that the Authority may kill him no matter what happens, he decides to release her; no longer will he be her maker. She is devastated. The audience is devastated. They can still be friends, right?  Pam embraces her role as Tara’s (Rutina Wesley) maker, commanding her first to not commit suicide via tanning bed and then to drink human blood, teaching her how to do it without killing. She tells Tara, “Drink. This is who you are now, the top of the chain. No human can hurt you any longer. They’re yours to savor.” Could she be a Saguinista after all? Did she free Russell?

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Sookie and Alcide Hook Up

Alcide, angry that Sookie initially lied to him about killing Debbie Pelt, seeks out her parents. Yet, still captivated by Sookie’s magic fairy mojo, he ends up spinning a plausible lie: Marcus killed Debbie when she rejected his advances. Meanwhile, Sookie, racked with guilt, confesses to Jason (Ryan Kwanten). He refuses to arrest her. Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll) overhears, and, when Andy (Chris Bauer) refuses to give up investigating Debbie’s disappearance, glamours him into forgetting he ever heard of Debbie. Congratulations, Sookie, you have committed the perfect crime. It’s amazing, and annoying, that everyone is willing to protect her even though she does nothing but wreck lives. Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) is one person who is not drinking the Sookie kool-aid. He brujas-out and curses Sookie’s car — a process that involves lifting it. Bruja Lafaeytte has super strength. The next time she drives it, her brakes go out. She manages to jump out of the car “Dukes of Hazzard” style before it crashes. Then she goes home and gets totally wasted and sings the Pina Colada song. Can Sookie be drunk all of the time? Alcide shows up to tell her that he saved her. She offers him a drink. Once he is buzzed — which presumably required the consumption of several gallons of booze since he is so gigantic — she calls him out on being in love with her. She’s arrogant, but she’s right. The two of them finally make out. Of course, Bill and Eric are watching from outside her window because this show is a soap opera.

Sookie and Jason’s Parents’ Death Was Not on the Up and Up

Remember when Andy fixed a speeding ticket for a judge’s son and you were like, “Why is this a storyline?” Well, it turns out that there was a reason for it. As a reward, he takes Andy and Jason out for a night on the town to what turns out to be fairyland’s hottest night club, complete with coed go go dancers and circus performers. This is so much better than last season’s field full of fairies wandering around in pastel nightgowns. Jason runs into his cousin Hadley who delivers the bombshell news that his parents did not die in a flood. They were killed by vampires! Start making your list of potential suspects. Russell and Roman both seem like possibilities.

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The Shape-Shifters are Shot Up

Sam’s (Sam Trammell) shape-shifter buddies invite him to come embrace his spirit animal with them. Apparently, he has won custody of the friends after his break-up with Luna. This would normally be a yawn, but when he arrives at their book club, he finds that they have both been murdered. Looks like the werewolves have gone to war with the shifters. As long as the werepanthers of Hot Shot stay far, far away this could get interesting.

Terry and Patrick Can’t Get Up

Terry (Todd Lowe) and Patrick (Scott Foley) travel to South Dakota to find their missing platoon buddy, Eller. Terry flashes back to an incident in Iraq when, after he and his buddies spent the night drinking and getting high, they ended up killing a bunch of civilians. They end up trapped in an underground bunker filled with Eller pointing a gun at him. Maybe the civilians they killed were not human.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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