‘True Blood’: Sookie & Alcide’s Hook-Up Goes Wrong

True Blood (HBO)

Gore and blood and barf and other gross things stole the show on this week’s episode of “True Blood“, “Let’s Boot and Rally.” The supernatural soap opera paid homage to its horror movie roots with an installment that should not be watched while eating. Fortunately, not all of it was unappetizing. Alcide’s bare chest was on display.  So was Andy’s butt, which tips this hour of television firmly back into the dietary aid zone. Here are this week’s five biggest, most disgusting surprises, all of which subtly, perhaps unintentionally paid homage to a movie or another television series.

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Sookie and Alcide’s Hook Up Turns into a Scene from “The 40 Year Old Virgin

Last week’s episode ended with Sookie (Anna Paquin) and Alcide (Joe Manganiello) about to make sweet, sweet love as Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) and Bill (Stephen Moyer) watched through the window. This week, soap opera turned to farce. Alcide effortlessly carried Sookie up the stairs to her bedroom. She stripped off his shirt, revealing his fifteen foot wide chest and twelve pack. They kissed. Then she puked all over him, just like the crazy drunk lady from “40 Year Old Virgin.” Eric and Bill, who were standing in the doorway thanks to Sookie making the house vampire-friendly for Tara, smirked at the Coitus Interruptus “Alcide, you sure know how to treat a lady,” joked Eric. Then they explained about their life-or-death quest to find Russell. Alcide informed them that one of his mason coworkers, Doug, would have been at the site when Russell broke free. So Sookie and the men who love her paid Doug a visit and she used her mind reading abilities to help him remember that a woman wearing an Authority necklace broke Russell out. Bill suspects Nora (Lucy Griffiths), but it seems quite possible that Salome (Valentina Cervi) is double-crossing her lover/boss Roman (Chris Meloni). After a long walk through an abandoned hospital with a lot of cliched scares including  rats eating a severed hand, and humans hanging from hooks like sides of beef, the gang reached Russell (Dennis O’Hare), who was lying on a gurney recuperating. Eric announces that they are there to kill him. King Russell challenges them to give it their best shot.

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Terry and Patrick’s PTSD Drama Turns into a Scene from “Lost

Terry (Todd Lowe) and Patrick (Scott Foley) are in an underground bunker with their platoon buddy Eller. He recalls that at the end of the civilian massacre shown in last week’s episode, a dying woman summoned upon a “fire monster” named Ifrit to get revenge on the platoon. Terry also remembers the moment, but Patrick is skeptical. Terry realizes they are sitting ducks for Ifrit and bolts, while Patrick handcuffs Eller to a chair to keep him from fleeing before the V.A. can send someone to treat him. When Patrick leaves to talk to Terry, Ifrit appears looking exactly like the  Smoke Monster from “Lost” and burns Eller to death, RIP, Red Shirt.

The Shifter/Wolf War turns into a Scene from Bonnie & Clyde

Sam (Sam Trammell) reports the deaths of his Shapeshifter buddies to the police. Andy is butt naked when he gets the call. They investigate and find a wooden bullet, which Jason sees as further evidence that vampires have been killing people from long before they went public with their existence. Sam tells his ex Luna (Janina Gavankar) that her friends died. When he leaves her place, a group of people (or wolves or something else)- who are waiting in a the bed of a an open wood sided truck, just like the cops in “Bonnie & Clyde,” shoot him. When Luna comes outside because she heard a noise, they shoot her too, and she looks very dead. Baby wolf Emma runs away into the woods.

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Lafayette and Jesus’s Relationship Turns into a Scene from “Futurama”

You know how on “Futurama” dead celebrities live on as heads in a jar? This is the bruja version of that. Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) dreams that he sees the disembodied head of Jesus (Kevin Alejandro), with his lips sewn together. Even stranger, his mother Ruby (Alfre Woodard) sees him too, only instead of being terrified she promises that she will pass on his message to Lafayette. If only Bender were there to deliver an appropriate wisecrack.

Tara and Jessica’s Relationship Tuens into a  Scene from “Mean Girls”

Tara (Rutina Wesley) dons a sequined corset and starts work as the bartender at Fangtasia. Why not? She has experience. But she’s still trying to figure out the whole vampire thing, just like Lindsay Lohan attempts to analyze teen girl culture in “Mean Girls.” Enter Jessica (Deborah Ann Woll), who tells her that her urges to suck every human dry are not only normal but awesome and offers to be her BFF. Tara is thrilled to be one of the Plastics (Pam is Regina George, of course.) Unfortunately, their friendship is short lived. Hot Topic Hoyt begs Tara to bite him. She initially refuses but when he pouts that his blood should be good enough for her, she changes her mind. Jessica catches Tara feeding on him in the bathroom, and an epic vampire catfight ensues. Poor Tara needs to learn the vampire girl code, or hold out for her own Janis Ian.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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