‘True Blood’: Which Bon Temps Resident Makes an Unexpected Departure?

True Blood (HBO)

This week’s episode of “True Blood” (“Gone, Gone, Gone”) was one of the season’s strongest. Instead of trying to cram every single character into the episode, Alcide, Terry and Arlene had the week off. It made for a tighter, more cohesive show. Maybe it was just the thankfully concluded Smoke Monster and Obama Mask Posse storylines that were dragging the show down. With just two episodes to go, this was the perfect set-up for what seems poised to be an epic vampires versus wolves versus fairies versus shifters versus humans season finale. We’re finally seeing the effects of the Authority’s bombing of the Tru Blood factories, with humans now fearing vampires and rank and file vampires chafing at the New Vampire World Order. Check out the episode’s top six twists.

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Tara Stakes the Sheriff, But Sookie Stakes the Deputy

Sing the above to the tune of Bob Marley’s “I shot the Sheriff.” Elijah, the newly appointed emo/Hot Topic vampire sheriff wants Pam (Kristin Bauer) to open a peep show booth at Fangtasia and turn a bunch more humans into vampires. Otherwise, he will seize her property — and her progeny, Tara (Rutina Wesley). Pam’s plan is to go on the run with Tara, like a nocturnal “Thelma & Louise,” because she does not want anyone to force her to procreate. Tara has a better plan. She summons Elijah, claiming that she tried to turn Ginger and accidentally killed her. While he is examining her, Ginger stabs him, then Tara beheads them. Girl power! Except, now the Authority is going to come after them, big time. Mike the Coroner pays Sookie a visit. It turns out he’s been turned. Sookie thinks fast and stakes him with the chopsticks from her Chinese takeout. Girl power with no negative consequences!

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Eric is (Seemingly) a Sanguinista Convert

There is tension within the ranks of the Authority as Salome (Valentina Cervi) seeks to cement her grip on the organization. Acting on her orders, Bill killed Molly (Tina Majorino) with her own iStake. Knowing Eric (Alexander Skarsgard) is also marked for True Death, he persuades Eric and Nora (Lucy Griffiths) to drink Lilith’s blood. They see Godric who tells them that Lilith is godless and that he does not to feed on people because he has evolved. Then Lilith appears and kills him. Eric watches them, but he can’t see Lilith or Godric, only their reactions. Either drinking Lilith’s blood temporarily makes you able to see Lilith, or Salome has convinced everyone that a hallucinogen is Lilith’s blood. Since Bill saw Lilith after biting Salome, she may be feeding everyone her own blood. After his hallucination, he begs Salome and Russell’s forgiveness, even forgiving Russell (Denis O’Hare) for killing his family. Is he touring with Lilith Fair or is this all an act? It’s hard to believe that he’d support the entity that killed Godric. Russell, who has witnessed Eric’s duplicity — and has the Talbot in A Jar to show for it — seems a little skeptical. Also seemingly skeptical is Jessica, who Bill has ordered to come to headquarters, fearing for her safety as humans turn against vampires.

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Russell Fights The Authority, The Authority Does Not Win

Russell is having himself a grand old time. He and Steve go out for Greek — which means feeding on frat boys while slow dancing to “Teenage Dream.” The Authority is cramping his crazy, anarchist style, though. Salome’s plan to mandate all vampires read the Book of Lilith bores him. He demands that they capture every fairy they can find, drink them so they can daywalk, and experiment on them until they figure out how to manufacture Tru Fairy Blood. Salome is having none of it. She believes that fairies are an abomination and that vampires were not meant to see the sunlight. Fundamentalists are never any fun. Russell uses his original German accent to go on a tirade about how he is unwilling to be contained by Lilith or the words in an ancient book, pointing out that he is the oldest vampire in the room and could kill them all. Then he zooms out of the room.

Hoyt Is Leaving Town. Really.

All season I have been asking why Hoyt (Jim Parrack) is still on this show. The writers seemingly came to the same realization. Hoyt decides to take a job in Alaska so he can make a fresh start. He asks Jessica to glamor him so he can forget her and his pain. She does, poignantly telling him that she will always remember him, but he won’t know her or Jason (Ryan Kwanten). Jason is devastated even though Sookie points out that Hoyt sort of forgave him. He pulls Hoyt over, hoping to talk him into staying in Bon Temps, but Hoyt truly has no idea who he is, nor any memories of their friendship. He thinks that his mother put Jason up to trying to get him to stay. So Jason seeks comfort from Sookie about the end of his bromance.

Sookie Finds a Mysterious Scroll

After killing the coroner, Sookie debriefs with Jason  about Gram’s box. Apparently, Jason has learned something from his time in law enforcement, because he quickly deduces that Gran’s “Look under the bed” message to Sookie was not “Look in the cardboard box under the bed and no place else.” Sookie, are you sure you’re the smart Stackhouse? Jason finds a metal box under a floorboard, inside is a scroll. Unfortunately, it’s not a Torah, because it would be hilarious if Sookie were part fairy and part Jewish — and we could have an epic Book of Lilith versus Old Testament showdown. It appears to be written in hieroglyphics, but the expert that they show it to says it’s not written n any human language. Duh! Did they think that Gran ended up with Cleopatra’s grocery list? On this show, that actually could be a possibility. So they head to fairyland and learn that the scroll is written in Faerie Ancient Gaelic or something, and that back in 1702 John Stackhouse signed over his first female fairy heir to M. Warlow. That would be Sookie. Hmm. Could Warlow be a certain fairy obsessed vampire whose name starts with R?

Sam and Luna Transform Themselves Into a Disney Movie

When Luna is unable to get law enforcement or the media to aid in her search for Emma, she and Sam (Sam Trammell) disguise themselves as mice and sneak into Steve Newlin’s dressing room at the cable news network while he is appearing in a debate about vampire rights. Emma is not there, so they stow away in his bag. They’re kind of like the helpful mice in Cinderella. They end up back at Authority headquarters, where they will undoubtedly be part of the end-of-season showdown. They see Steve scold Emma for appearing in human form and threatens to have her eaten. She whimpers that she wants her mom. Maybe they can get Emma back by shapeshifting into Lilith.


The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.

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