Wait, Bill is a what? Whether you loved it or hated it, you cannot deny that the “True Blood” finale (“Save Yourself”) was an action packed game changer. A major character died (finally!) as did a couple who weren’t so important. It all ended with one hell of a cliffhanger. This episode was also show runner Alan Ball’s swansong. The writer has opted to focus on other projects, so Season 6 will have a new Chancellor… er King… er boss. Ball is not the only person on the show who is embarking on a whole new chapter of his life after this episode. Read on for the night’s biggest shockers.
Bill is a Whole New Man
Good news fans of gutsy, surprising writing. Bill was not deep undercover in an attempt to destroy the Authority from within. He really, truly believes that he is Lilith’s Chosen One. Sam turning up as his room service breakfast does not change his mind, though he declines to eat him because he is on a shifter-free diet. When Sam realizes that seeing a friend from Bon Temps is not going to make Bill snap out of it, he shifts into a fly and escapes into an air duct. Bill tells his minions to hunt him down and kill him. Bill then tells Salome that he killed Chancellor Kibwe last week for harboring the mistaken belief that Lilith chose him. He claims that Lilith told him that Salome was the new prophet. Then they have sex. Salome is determined to drink of all of Lilith’s blood. Bill attempts to talk her out of it, warning that there could be side effects. She does it anyway — and discovers that Bill has spiked it with silver. She lies powerless on the floor, furious not only that Bill has tricked her but that he has defiled Lilith’s blood. Bill assures her he did not touch Lilith’s actual blood; he switched the vials. She marvels that Lilith chose him wisely right before he stakes her. Bye, Salome. Bill is about to drink the real blood when Sookie and Eric arrive in his chambers (more on how that happened below) to attempt an intervention. Eric tells Bill that he, too, saw Lilith and watched her kill Godric. She is evil. When that does not work, Sookie attempts to use their history and their love to get him back into the fold, saying that he alone among vampires is capable of empathy and love. For once Sookie does not have the magic touch. Bill says that maybe he was only pretending to be a nice guy. He reminds her that the night they met he told he told her that vampires often turn on those they love the most. Then he drinks the blood. He explodes into a pile of goo. Soookie gasps, as do millions of viewers who think that show just killed off its ostensible romantic lead. Then, the goo stars to move and reconstitutes itself as Bill, now in the same bloody form as Lilith. Then the closing credits roll. For those tracking the religious allegories, he just died and was reborn. Is he an evil God? Or just messy? We’ll find out next year.
Watch the Shocking Season Finale:
Russell Enters a New Phase of His Life… as Does Someone Else
The season’s penultimate episode ended with Russell able to see fairyland after drinking fairy blood. What seems like the start of an epic battle is over in the first two minutes of the episode. Eric, taking advantage of Russell’s euphoric state, is able to get close enough to stake him. He dies instantly. It’s a huge shock, but anti-climactic given Russell’s significance to the show. It’s also disappointing because it seemed like he was going play a significant role in the vampire/human war that is brewing. Another major(ish) character has one of the series most memorable deaths during the episode. Steve runs away in to the woods, distraught, after Russell’s death. Nobody in the Authority knows what has transpired. So Luna skinwalks into Steve so she can free Emma. She is almost out the door when Roslyn forces spokesperson “Steve” to make a television appearance to spin the release of the video of Steve and Russell feasting on frat boys. Stuna does a lousy job of reading the teleprompter then goes rogue and starts revealing what’s happening at the Authority before the stress of skinwalking gets to her and transforms back to herself, weakened and possibly dead. Sam in fly form flies inside Roslyn’s mouth, then shifts back to his full size self. She explodes. It’s gross and hilarious.
Jason Has a New Mission
When Jason, who was knocked out by fairy light in the previous episode, wakes up, he has a vision of his mother telling him that vampires are evil. It’s so effective that when Eric and Jessica and Tara ask Sookie to infiltrate the Authority to help Bill see the light and free Pam, he insists on coming along. When Jessica professes her love for him he retorts that he could never love a vampire. He kills a bunch of minions as the gang blasts its way into Authority headquarters. In a bonus scene available on XFINITYTV.com, while the gang rides the elevator into Authority headquarters, he has a vision of his parents praising him for killing eleven vampires. They tell him to keep going until he gets to Warlow, the mysterious vampire who killed them. Next season Jason will assume a new role: world’s stupidest vampire slayer.
Tara Gets a New Love
Shortly after infiltrating the Authority, Sookie, Tara and Jessica free Pam. Pam thanks Tara with a passionate kiss! Jessica hilariously says that she saw it coming all along.
Andy Gets A New Family
Maurella the Fairy, who is a whole whopping one to two weeks pregnant, goes into labor at Merlotte’s. Andy has to tell that he cheated on her. Then Holly is pressed into midwife duty. Maurella gives birth to four full-size babies — none of whom have umbilical cords. It turns out that fairies find childbirth to be an orgasmic experience. Maurella announces she is headed back to fairyland. It’s Andy’s duty to raise his new quadruplets. Season 6 may be a year away, but it’s not too soon to call “Andy the Dad” as next year’s worst storyline.
Alcide Gets a New Pack
Alcide learns that Rikki OD’d on V after J.D. force fed it to the entire pack. Alcide, spurred to action, finally fights and kills J.D. He becomes the new pack master and proclaims that his regime will be wholesome and free from corruption.