‘Bachelor Pad’ Shocking Finale: Did All of That Just Really Freakin’ Happen?!?!

Nick Peterson on Bachelor Pad (ABC)

O.M.Geee. Can you believe the multiple shockers that regurgitated out of this finale episode of “Bachelor Pad”?! It’ll indeed go down in the “Bachelor” franchise history books as some of the most shocking moments everrrr…

After the cast voted Nick “Protein Shake” Peterson and Rachel Truehart over egotistical Chris Bukowski and Sarah “Small-Mouthed” Newlon to take on the $250K grand prize, Nick shook the entire game up by giving the ultimate F-You to his partner and the rest of the cast by choosing to KEEP all of the money!!! (Under the rules, if one partner chooses to SHARE and the other chooses to KEEP the money, the one who chooses KEEP gets to take the entire grand prize home!)

Although Rachel announced on stage she had chosen to share the prize with Nick after deliberating long and hard in the isolation room, Nick decided otherwise and went off on a monologue that ended up lambasting everyone for underestimating him and for Rachel disregarding him as a partner.

“I was under nobody’s radar, nobody cared how I was gonna vote—I got here by myself,” he said sitting in the hot seat. “I did this by myself and [Rachel] tried to leave on me three times, knowing it would screw me over!”

The crowd went ballistic with shock and then with joy! Nick cackled with delight!

In utter disbelief, Rachel cried bitter tears and called him a “f*cking schmuck.”

His reply? “I’m a f*cking schmuck with $250K,” he mumbled.

Watch Monday’s Shocking Episode:

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After being congratulated by Kalon McMahon and Chris B., Nick walked off backstage, but Rachel followed him, shooting out F-bombs.

“You f*cking come up and talk to me and f*cking man up!” she screamed. After a brief, heated exchange, Nick scurried off into a limo…last we heard, GNC stores around the area ran out of Horny Goat Weed pills and Vanilla Whey Protein Powder…

Sympathetic as I was to see Rachel so distraught for being doubly played (by Nick and by Michael Stagliano), I must say it was refreshing that someone claimed the game and shook us out of our “Bachelor Pad” slumber.

And speaking of Stags, for those of you who didn’t know, his change of heart for Rachel was one of many surprises in the finale.

So what the freak happened? Apparently, Stags’ cajones suddenly deflated after he left the show, and he broke it off with Rachel, claiming he didn’t want to pursue a long distance relationship. However, we come to find out later in the show that he was lying through his slick teeth and he was actually pursuing a long distance relationship with some other chick in Chicago! That wretched Vanilla Ice!

Another potential bomb involved Kalon. Enemy Erica Rose, who was looking scarily more natural than usual, called him out in front of his love muffin Lindzi Cox, claiming she caught him rubbing another gal’s leg at a movie premiere in Dallas recently. (I don’t know about you, but my badonka donk wouldn’t want to have been sitting near those two for the duration of the taping…awkward…).

Last but not least, the other major WTF moment of the night was Blakeley Shea and Tony Pieper‘s on-camera love fest.

“[Tony] lifted a weight off my shoulders…he just made everything okay; he let me be me. He’s amazing,” Blakeley exclaimed in tears.

Dressed like a genie, she stood up in front of everyone, hand in hand with her emotional lumberjack, to announce that…they’re moving in together! Yippeee! But wait! There’s more!

After everyone finished swallowing their barf, Tony made his own announcement—stank you very much. As he proceeded to express how deeply he was in love with Blakeley (her eyes began to nervously dart left and right), he got on one knee and proposed! And what a surprise! It was an ABC paid-for Neil Lane ring! The big-bosomed genie got her ultimate wish, and with hardly a hesitation, she said “yes!”

It was a night of bombshells, uncontrollable tears, broken hearts, “f*cking schmucks,” and most importantly, some major game playing!

After the way Nick stuck it to all the “cool kids,” you better believe another order of “Bachelor Pad” will be served next summer.

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The opinions expressed are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Comcast.


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