Welcome to “The Voice: Pain & Suffering Edition!” On tonight’s episode: a home invasion, a torn meniscus, and a debilitating virus! All the things that make you feel warm and cozy and a little nauseous during your usual Tuesday night TV lineup.
On night two of the blind auditions, “The Voice” went a bit heavy on the personal drama, with five out of the six featured contestants dealing with some horrible thing in their past. In fact, the only auditioner who didn’t really suffer, besides having to go on tour with LeeAnn Rimes (just kidding, people), was the only one not to get a single judge to spin around for him. Have we cracked the formula?
The best singer of the night was the first, and had one of the more gruesome stories: when Adriana Louise was 9, her dad was robbed at a grocery store, and the assailants then proceeded to hold up the entire family at their Brooklyn home. But that’s not why all four judges spun around for this waitress. It was her rendition of “Domino,” that sounded pretty much radio perfect, as Adam Levine pointed out. With her pick of the litter, though, Adriana chose Christina Aguilera to be her coach.
The torn meniscus belonged to Iowan cowboy Casey Muessigmann (pronounced “music man”!!!), a former wrestler who gained 100 pounds after a knee injury, then lost it when he discovered music. Blake Shelton and Cee Lo Green both felt compelled to turn around during Casey’s “Sweet Home Alabama,” and very obviously, Casey chose Blake.
Aquile, from Wyoming, got by with just a broken jaw. While his jaw was wired shut, he learned how to play guitar. On “Your Song,” he showed off his “really unique, rich, buttery consistency” voice, said Adam, who spun around along with Christina and later Cee Lo. But it was Christina who won over Aquile, perhaps after admitting, “I kind of want a private concert, to be honest.”
Mackenzie Bourg wins for gnarliest disease of the night, a virus that caused inflammation of the heart and required him to breathe on a ventilator. But the now healthy 19-year-old recovered just in time for the Super Bowl, then left the TV on after the Giants won and saw “The Voice” for the first time. The rest is history. The Justin Bieber-Harry Potter mashup won over Cee Lo Green with a guitar-strumming “Pumped Up Kicks.”
And finally, Julio Cesar Castillo might appear to have things good, but leave it to dad to keep things grounded. “We come from a family that has suffered our whole lives,” said Julio’s dad. Now that’s more like it. Dad has epilepsy, and Julio must work as a mariachi singer to support the family. He accomplishes a first, by being the first audition on “The Voice” to sing entirely in Spanish. He says this like we’re gonna be really impressed, but then he sings “La Bamba.” That’s a cop out. Everyone knows the words to “La Bamba,” even the most unilingual Americans. Blake and Cee Lo turn around for him, and Cee Lo asks him to sing a little mariachi. Now, that’s more like it! For some reason, Julio thinks he’ll do well with a country singer for a coach and chooses Blake.
And with that, we can go watch some less horrifying show, like the news.
Teams so far
Adam: No new additions. Bryan Keith: raspy guy coming out from under dad’s shadow; Joe Kirkland: band frontman dumped by label.
Blake: Casey Muessigmann: wrestling cowboy; Julio Cesar Castillo: mariachi singer; Terry McDermott: Scottish rocker dad; Gracia Harrison: yodeler
Cee Lo: Mackenzie Bourg: Justin Bieber meets Harry Potter meets gnarly virus; Daniel Rosa: huggable former reject; Trevin Hunte: wailer proving his 8th-grade teacher wrong
Christina: Adriana Louise: Brooklyn waitress; Aquile: from broken jaw to buttery voice; De’borah: gospel church misfit; Devyn Deleroa: sang “Ain’t No Other Man” and survived