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On Monday night’s “Real Housewives of New York City,” Turtle Time met Hammer Time—and the Hammer came in the 5’10” form of Aviva Drescher.
Taking catfighting and a-hole ripping to another level, Aviva invited Ramona to brunch to give her some more hell, especially now that she heard Miss Pinot Polarity called her ex-husband Harry and had asked “inappropriate” questions.
Unfortunately, we never really discover what those inappropriate questions were because the two ladies immediately began clawing at each other’s faces.
“You ruined our trip,” Ramona said as she inexplicably left her black sunglasses on in the restaurant.
In addition to Aviva calling Ramona’s behavior “disgusting,” the tall blonde decided to offer a horrific visual of what she meant: She attacked Ramona for spooning Sonja as they both lay naked together in their room at St. Barth’s! (Talk about a puke-worthy cottage cheese visual!)
After looking visibly shaken from the comment and not vehemently denying it (ewww!), Ramona proceed to call Aviva “uptight” and a “buzzkill.”
Aviva shot back, saying Ramona was a 56-year-old woman acting as if she were 20 years old.
“What is your problem?” enunciated Ramona as she blinked her eyes furiously.
“YOU are my problem,” Aviva declared with her low smoker’s voice.
Feeling the need to douse her Earl Grey tea with some Pinot to calm her nerves, Ramona started to attack Aviva about her dependency on her husband Reid. Aviva quickly retaliated by saying that Ramona was not only an alcoholic but that she also purposely drives Sonja to drink.
“You’re driving me to diarrhea,” shot back Ramona and called Aviva a “viper.”
But since she’s always been averse to head-to-head confrontation that lasts beyond a minute, Ramona was the first to run away from the table.
“That’s no friend; that’s an enemy,” Miss Crazy Eyes told the camera.
Later on at a charity event hosted by Ramona, Aviva’s dad George came by to try to accomplish three things: to drop off Aviva’s check, to get Ramona to apologize to his daughter, and to use the Horny Goat Weed libido pills on Carole. Unfortunately for him, he only managed to accomplish the first.
Insulted and working herself into a tizzy about “viper” Aviva, Ramona quickly kicked Mr. 80-Year-Old Libido out the door.
Whatever will Aviva do once Poor Papa George tells her Ramona humiliated him in front of all those fertile ladies? Oh, you better believe there will be hell to pay…this is Aviva Drescher we’re talking abouuut!
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